Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball

February 21, 2010 5:00 pm     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa  John - UConn g+ page


By John

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Girl, yelling, in a bar bathroom.)

Girl: … I’m NOT PREGNANT!

(Two guys, walking in an apartment parking lot.)

Guy 1: Dude, look at that cat. Is that cat drunk?

Guy 2: No, man, everyone knows cats don’t drink.

(Two girls, walking)

Girl 1: OK, we take this to the grave.

Girl 2: Yeah, no one can find out.

Girl 1: Kinda like the time I cried in the Lizzie McGuire movie.

Girl 2: Or when you peed on Stacie’s boots.

(Girl, guy, playing Wii in the lounge.)

Girl: Ughh! Oh my God! I need some Viagra for video games!

(Guy, girl, in the lunchroom kitchen.)

Guy: Aah! I destroy everything I touch!

Girl: Wait, are you breaking up with me?

Guy: No. Broke a plate.

(Girl, watching TV in the lounge.)

Girl: Oh. I get it. Suddenly it makes sense. Football players are all virgins.

(Two guys, waiting to get into a concert.)

Guy 1: You know what it means to f— a duck, right?

Guy 2: What? Uh, no.

Guy 1: Uh, geez. F— a duck. You know, like … that thing?

Guy 2: I dunno, dude.

Guy 1: Man. Just f— a duck.

(Professor, teaching a communications class.)

Professor: But, you’d never do that. It’d be like … a dozen people, sitting in a room in silence, watching a pair of lips on TV. It would be very European.

(Girls, talking at breakfast.)

Girl 1: I need to purge this pizza from my body.

Girl 2: Uh …

Girl 1: Yup. Exactly as gross as you think.

(Guys, outside a campus wings restaurant.)

Guy: Ughhh. I ate so much. It feels like I just got kicked in the stomach. And their shoe got stuck there.

(Girls, sitting around in the study lounge.)

Girl 1: What’s a fun game?

Girl 2: I have this game called “Loot.” It’s, like, a pirate card game.

Girl 1: Like, cuttin’ throats and swingin’ on rigging. And stabbing people’s eyes, so they bleed everywhere like a bloody duck’s butt.

11 Comments on "Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball"

  1. maggie says:
    Sun, 21st Feb 20103:50 pm 

    two girls in a popular chain store:

    girl 1: hang on, i really need some fishnets.

    pausing,

    girl 2: wait, what? did you just say you…NEED…fishnets??

  2. Kristina says:
    Sun, 21st Feb 20104:09 pm 

    The "Overheard" feature here might be my favorite thing about this site. It never fails to make me snortlaugh, either in true amusement or in fear for the human race. Either way, good fun!

  3. Dana says:
    Mon, 22nd Feb 20106:51 am 

    Girl on the phone outside Starbucks:

    Girl: Oh don't you try to guilt me. I know all about guilt; I am Catholic!

  4. Cecilia says:
    Tue, 23rd Feb 201011:53 pm 

    girl and boy at the bus stop

    Girl: no,honey! this is not money!

    Boy: but it IS!

    Girl:I need metal money

    Boy: you mean coins?

    Girl: duh! obviosly no!

  5. Rachel says:
    Wed, 24th Feb 20109:26 pm 

    Guy: 88 supposed to be some sort of nazi number because ‘h’ is the 8th letter of the alphabet, so it stood for ‘Hail Hitler’
    Girl: I didn’t know his first name was Hail

  6. Kim says:
    Thu, 25th Feb 20106:14 pm 

    Outside of Social Psych class before test

    Girl 1: Unanimous is the same as anonymous right?

    Girl 2: Um…yes?

    Girl 1: Good that's what I thought.

  7. Tang Lu says:
    Wed, 17th Mar 20101:46 pm 

    OVERHEARD

    (An entire family in a hot tub, heard over a garden fence)

    Mum: "Guess what everyone in this tub's got in common?"
    Son: "What?"
    Mum: "Everyone in here, has sucked, my tits!"
    Family: (silence)
    Dad: "Honey? The dog's in here with us!"

  8. Tang Lu says:
    Sat, 20th Mar 20103:49 am 

    OVERHEARD

    (Two girls, looking at condoms in store)

    Girl 1: "Trojan?"
    Girl 2: "Yeah! You get an army of little Greek men falling out each time you open one!"

  9. Tang Lu says:
    Sat, 20th Mar 20103:52 am 

    OVERHEARD

    (Couple, arguing at home)

    Guy: "What? When? You never told me!"
    Girl: "I told you when you were out!"

  10. Tang Lu says:
    Sat, 20th Mar 20108:46 am 

    OVERHEARD

    (Chinese guy, talking to friends about species conservation)

    Chinese Guy: “Of course ‘we’ Chinese support the conservation of endangered species……..otherwise all our restaurants would close!”

  11. Kayleigh Zettler says:
    Thu, 16th Sep 201012:32 pm 

    Girl 1: this isn't lesbian, but feel my nipple rise

    Girl 2: Sure!… wait, what?

    Girl 1: Its so windy

    Girl 2: yeah cause you farted..

    Girl 1: in your mouth!

    Girl 2: …no

    Girl 1: You're so verbal

    Girl 2: that means i talk

    Girl 1: out your butt!!

    Girl 2: wtf

    (actual conversations between me and my best friend)

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