Life After College: Guys Don’t Call Out Here Either

Are you actually going to call??

I recently met a guy who spent the night alternating between making out with me and making fun of people with me. Talk about true love. I gladly gave him my number at the end of the night and assumed he would call me the next day. I never heard from him again.

Why do men hit on you all night, ask for your number, and then disappear off the face of the earth?

I know that I should be used to this whole “lemme get your digits” scam by now, but it still tricks me every single time. Even though I act all nonchalant as I type my number into his phone, I leave the bar/party/alley floating on air. In my head I’m 16 steps ahead and already planning our first date, our first anniversary, and our destination wedding location (he liked making out in front of the fan, so we should totally go someplace windy). I wake up smiling thinking that maybe, just maybe, I won’t be the last one of my friends to get married after all.

Then a few days pass without any word from my soon-to-be fiance. At first I always make excuses for him like he lost his phone or got amnesia or got sent back to jail for breaking his parole. And then, after one too many friends inquire as to whatever happened with that guy, I face reality and realize that yes, I will be that friend from college who never got married and eventually grew facial hair and finally disappeared.

I think my problem is that I misunderstand “can I get your number?” I mistakenly assume it means a guy wants to call me. In reality it means “I’m not sure how to end this without being a total douche. Hmm, instead of just leaving the bar without glancing back, I’ll be a gentleman and ask for her number. Obviously, I will delete it moments later. But for the time being, it will make her feel good about yourself, which makes me feel good about myself. I am a knight in shining armor. Am I God?”

Should I stop giving out numbers and in turn stop breaking my heart? Or will I be missing a huge opportunity?

The safest bet seems to be grilling every guy that asks for my number by asking repeatably “Are you actually going to call? What time will you call? Are you just asking for my number because you forgot my name?” Because if a guy calls me after I Spanish-inquisition him for 6 hours, he is definitely a keeper.

And if he doesn’t call. I’ll just be one step closer to being a bearded recluse. And don’t even try to buy that website domain. My parents bought it after I got stood up for junior prom.



    1. Roberto says:

      "Because if a guy calls me after I Spanish-inquisition him for 6 hours, he is definitely a keeper."


    2. Sarah says:

      I think as an experiment you should try telling the guy, "No, look I know you're not actually going to call me so I'll make it easy on you" – in kind of a playful way. I think a good guy might see that as confident and refreshing and if he actually wanted to called you, he'd respond by trying harder to get your number but if he was just looking for an easy exit you just gave him one and won't have to live with any false hopes.

    3. Shar says:

      I once spent an entire morning waiting on my stoop for a some guy I met to come pick me up to go to the beach. I couldn't believe he didn't show up. I was totally duped.

      But then there was the guy who did call and I pretended it wasn't me who answered (before cell phones — yikes!) and hung up.

      Keep giving the guy your number. You may not always want to pick up though!

    4. glove says:

      This is from a guy reading your article. Don't ask why I'm reading.

      If you really like someone you just met, you should simply ask him for his number. Tell him you're going to call right that moment. Put it in your cell, call him while he's standing there. If you don't see/hear it ring, then you know not to waste your time.

      Why do so many women have an issue with asking guys for their numbers? Look at it this way: if you aren't having any luck with the way you're doing things currently, changing it up a little isn't going to hurt.

      There are plenty of really great guys out there, open up your game a little to try chasing them down once in a while.

      Good luck.

    5. Kimberly says:

      I always take down his number. Even though it might stress you out to call, it means no questioning why he didn't call you and you have the power of when you wanna talk to him.

    6. Jimbob says:

      girls do this too..they give me their numbers and act excited, then don't text back.

    7. […] – Speaking of hunting, where are all the good guys we’ve been searching for? They’re not in college and they’re definitely not in the real world. […]

    8. regina says:

      A guy asked me for my number the other night.. I gave him my sisters thinking he'll never call, but if he does, I won't be waiting around my phone to hear from him. My sister called me yesterday asking why some guy kept calling at texting her. I guess sometimes you have to give your real number! Too bad I didn't really like him anyway and didn't respond to his texts.

    9. maria says:

      what about just talking to the guy the first night you met? old fashioned but far less stressful than thinking a random guy was all over you to then treat you as meat…

    10. Jac says:

      Ahh I think ur last couple of paragraphs sound like Gigi from maybe he's just not that into you !:)

    11. Alicia says:

      I once puked in a guy's car and he called me the next morning to make sure I got up in time for work. I thought that meant he was a keeper. He wasn't.

    12. mollination says:

      "I will be that friend from college who never got married and eventually grew facial hair and finally disappeared"


      Oh my god! LOL! I'm dyin…

    13. […] whatever, I give him my number. Which should not that big of a deal, it’s not exactly an out of the ordinary event. Yeah, I mean, […]

    14. […] you can’t just run to his frat bros and ask for his romantic resume.  Dating in the real world actually requires work (and a working knowledge of Google).  The books for this class would be invaluable resources and […]

    • You Might Like