Tuffy Luv Sez: Soulmate…Or Just Some Guy?

Burning question? If it’s not gonorrhea, give it to Tuffy! TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

By Sara

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So my problem is about a guy. He goes to college with my best friend whom I visit kinda often. Last month, I visited and he was around but we were both with our significant others so I didn’t look at him twice. But this weekend I visited my friend and he was around and neither of our significant others were there. He was going through some sh*t and we talked for a bit.

Now this is where it’s weird. He’s exactly what I always envisioned in a boyfriend. It’s hard to describe – but we’re basically kinda the same person while complementing each other. We stepped out for a smoking break and I feel like we really connected. I know this is insane – I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend and we live in different states – but I just can’t get him out of my head. I did the typical Facebook stalking, but I don’t know what more I can even do, if I should even do anything. I told my best friend but he dismissed it as me being silly. But what if soul mates are real and he’s mine? Would I even be his? Should I start visiting my friend more often? Can I leave a comment on his Facebook? I’m torn.

- Looking for Love

Dear Looking for Love,

Giiiiiiiiiiirl. If you’re planning to pursue this, the first thing you better do is break up with that boyfriend of yours. Because, as Tuffy done said before, a cheater is a piece of poop.

But let’s back this shiz up.

You are infatuated with this guy. Dig? You feel like you guys are “basically kinda the same person while complementing each other.” But, honey, you don’t know this guy! You’ve met him twice! This is not love, girl. This is a crush, and, frankly, it’s not based on much.

Maybe, though, maybe this brings up a sort of larger issue. If you’re finding yourself so drawn to this guy that you’re considering emotionally (if not physically) cheating on your boyfriend, methinks perhaps it’s not this particular guy and more that you’re unhappy in your current relationship. You don’t seem to think twice about hurting your current boyfriend in all of this. Even if he’s not the one, he’s the one you’re with now–you should really consider his feelings.

So, Tuffy sez: Dump the boyfriend. It’s the least you can do. You obviously don’t care too much about this guy; why lead him on while you are on the lookout for your soulmate in some guy you shared a cigarette and a couple hours with?

Once you’ve dumped the boyfriend–and ONLY once you’ve dumped him–you are free to pursue something with this other guy. But, frankly, if he’s willing to flake on his girlfriend the way you’re flaking on your boyfriend, I would seriously consider if he’s someone who can be trusted (just as, from his point of view, I would wonder if you can be trusted). And if he wants to just “try things out” BEFORE breaking up with the girlfriend, well, then he’s a douchebag.

To be honest, I can’t see this working out well. But, of course, stranger things have happened, so if you really honestly think he might be your soulmate, then you have to go for it (as long as you break up with the boyfriend first). Still, you better do some real soul-searching before you take the chance of ruining your relationship AND his–are you really so spiritually attracted to him that he might be your soulmate, or are you just looking for something new and transferring all those feelings onto him? Tuffy’s guessing the latter. Until you know for sure, hands off Facebook and out of his pants.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv