Coupled. And Broke

February 25, 2010 5:00 pm     Posted in Relationships  Sarabeth - University of Texas g+ page


By Sarabeth

It should be no surprise to my fellow college students that I’m broke. We all are. So it’s also no surprise that my boyfriend is too. But sometimes this little fact of life can get in the way of our relationship. It’s hard to have spectacular dates when your electric bill is past due, and you can’t really expect fancy anniversary presents when you’re digging into the couch cushions for gas money.

Sometimes this can get a bit stressful. No one likes the feeling of being in debt, it’s emotional, so naturally when the subject of money comes up in a relationship, it’s bound to start some fights. Matt and I have gotten into plenty and it’s mostly because he gets about 4 times the amount of financial aid that I do. How is it fair that we split things evenly if he’s got more to spend than me? And if he’s got more, why isn’t he offering to do more?

And so the fight begins.

The best thing that I’ve learned from those types of fights is that you should sit down, actually talk about your finances and try to find a balance. For me it was accepting the fact that I just don’t have as much money for Matt, and he agreed to divide up the expenses accordingly. I always hated asking Matt for money and it’s much easier now that we’ve sorted everything out and have an understanding.

As far as the dates go, Matt and I are always finding ways to have fun together without spending a whole lot of money. In fact, we’re going to a museum this weekend because we get in free for being students. As far as cheap dates go, here are a few things we’ve managed to come up with that don’t make us feel like we’re broke as a joke:

-Look into what your city has to offer for students. Always be looking for student discounts. My favorites are student nights at movie theaters and free passes to concerts and museums.

-Do some research into what your town has to offer parks-wise. I love heading to the park on a nice weekend, having a picnic and going kayaking, which together can be as cheap as $10.

-My best friend introduced me to Groupon.com. It’s seriously amazing. They have deals every day that are essentially gift certificates for a discount, but you can only get it if X amount of people buy it. I’ve found everything from $20 for $40 worth of food at local restaurants to $10 massages.

-This where on-campus events can be your friend. Check out cool clubs together, or go to events together. Matt and I always go to this thing at UT called 40 Acres Ffest, which is pretty much a fair that covers the main areas of campus that’s put on by all the student groups and ends with a free concert from some pretty well-known bands. Check out what your school has to offer and take advantage of it all!

With a little understanding of your financial situation and a pinch of research and creativity, it’s totally manageable to not let money affect your relationship. Just don’t be afraid to have the money talk with your significant other; and never be embarrassed to go on a “cheap” date. Sometimes they’re the most fun!

Anybody else have any ideas on the cheap?

5 Comments on "Coupled. And Broke"

  1. D says:
    Thu, 25th Feb 20101:57 pm 

    Thank you! It's so hard being in a relationship when its obvious one party is making more/recieving more money. I make more than my boyfriend and it's hard to strike that balance between being supportive and helping him, his man pride, and my own financial issues.

  2. criolle johnny says:
    Thu, 25th Feb 20103:40 pm 

    Difference in perspective!

    He gets 4 times the financial aid you get. You see money that the TWO of you can spend. He see money that the ONE of him potentially has to repay.

    You're in a college relationship. The DIVORCE rate in the U.S. is over 50% and you're asking him to invest in a college relationship. Might make him nervous if he sees you as financially irresponsible.

    That will cause some friction, not the fun kind. You've reached an understanding, he gives more than you. I don't see this ending well.

  3. Casey says:
    Thu, 25th Feb 20108:24 pm 

    Criolle, the two of them live together, she's asking him to help out a little more with the bills because she just can't afford it, and if they want to keep the roof over there head then they need to make some changes. She's not saying, "I want you to support me", or "I don't have enough money for both the bills and to go shopping, can you pay the bills?"

    My boyfriend MAKES about a thousand dollars more a month than I do, yet we still split everything equally, because even though we live together and we're in a relationship we still want to be financially independent from each other. It SUCKS when I have to ask him to cover a portion of my rent because I need to get my car (which we share for the time being) fixed. Even though he makes a lot more, and we share the car, I still like to be able to take care of myself and my things on my own.

    I think this may be how the author feels, not that since he has more money he should spend more money, but that she doesn't have enough money to do a 50/50 split, and it sucks.

    I get what you're saying about it being a college relationship, but seriously, why live your life based on a statistic? And since when did a COLLEGE relationship mean failure? People used to get married to their High School sweetheart and then that became unacceptable, now college sweethearts are condemned as well? When IS it acceptable to get married? Why should it not be acceptable anytime? (legally, of course) Statistics focus on the group, they don't focus on the individual, and every relationship is different.

    You sound very bitter about relationships and that is a shame, but don't assume that every relationship is doomed to failure. I can tell you one thing about a relationship is that if you're counting on it to fail, then you don't really want to be in it. Obviously this isn't her boyfriend case.

  4. Kelly says:
    Fri, 26th Feb 20102:52 pm 

    wow, thats super unfair! would you ask to divde up the bills if your roommate was rich? (yes i know a boyfriend is diffrent, but damn, you two arnt married yet!! why does he have to pay more? talk about unfair! that shit would never fly with me and my BF).

    Casey: 1st, before you try to attack me, i've been in a college relationship for two and a half years and absolutely love it! but go easy on C! Getting married so young is not as socially acceptable as it was back in the day. the average marrying age, age of having kids, and divorce rate have all shot up! so yeah, our generation is skeptical! seriously, don't get all worked up about this, it just makes you seem super defensive about YOUR personal relationship.

  5. Rachel says:
    Sat, 27th Feb 20106:27 am 

    You took the words out of my mouth (er – keyboard), Kelly.

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