I can’t speak for every school, of course, but at Columbia, it’s hard out there for a single girl. According to statistics I made up just now, approximately half the guys at this place are gay, thirty percent of them are in long-term relationships, and the remaining twenty are generally kinda weird. (Many in a cute way, but some in a… not so cute way.) The fact that there’s an all-girls’ college right across the street doesn’t help matters.

With all that in mind, I’m certainly open to hearing tips on how to successfully snag a dude. So when I saw an article on marieclaire.com called “How to Date Like a Man,” I was intrigued.

The piece starts out pretty innocuously: “When you walk into a place, act like you know where the hell you’re going, even if you don’t. Everyone will wonder who you are and why you’re there, but they’ll never think you’re useless and confused,” writes Erin Dailey in her first paragraph. Okay, so far, so sensible. Looking confident and carefree is definitely more attractive than looking frightened and meek. It’s a little irksome that Dailey genders confidence as a masculine trait, but whatevs, I won’t fight it.

After that, though, things start to get a little iffy. Dailey tells women that once they’ve found a hottie, they should “look him straight in the eye and think, You should be attached to my lips by now; why aren’t you? Trust me, he’ll read your thoughts like they’re projected above your head on a wide-screen.”

Hm… I don’t know about this one. It seems like if you’re giving a guy a crazy, unblinking stare, he’s most likely going to think, What’s up with Captain Bug Eyes? and back away slowly. That sample thought—“You should be attached to my lips by now”—and the title of this section of the article, “Eye Your Prey,” also give this piece of advice a seriously creepy vibe. Dailey sounds like she’s decided to make Samantha Jones her personal man-handling guru, which makes her suggestions seriously suspect.

And things just go downhill from here. Dailey’s next bit of wisdom is to “fake interest” in whatever the dude is talking about, since “no one cares about what anyone else has to say. They just don’t.” Ouch, man. Why bother chatting up a guy if you have to feign enthusiasm for whatever he’s talking about? How could you form a relationship with someone you find totally boring? This just sounds mean.

Finally, Dailey tells us what to do after we have sex with the dude (because you should have sex with him immediately, since “that’s pretty much all they want from you until they get to know you.” And presumably letting him get to know you is like, too time-consuming or something?): “Never exchange all your information. This is so incredibly important. Give him your name. Give him a fake cell number. In this age of the Internet, anyone can find you if they want to.”

See, if you do give him your real cell number, “he will call you.” But… isn’t that the point? How are the two of you going to go out on another date if he can’t get in touch with you? I’m not the only one who thinks this sounds totally bizarre, right?

Maybe this article is actually supposed to be brilliant satire, and I’m too dense to recognize it. Maybe the title is just a little misleading; if it were changed to “How to Date Like a Douchebag,” or maybe “How to Score a One-Night Stand,” these tips would make a lot more sense. As advice for the date-seeking woman, though, Dailey’s piece falls flat. It’s also kind of offensive to guys, since in her eyes, “dating like a dude” means acting like a total a**hole. Thanks but no thanks, Marie Claire.

The Razzies nominees are out!

Would you wear a necklush?

The 7 stages of a breakup.

Amy Winehouse likes whatever she can get girls.

Shop for Haiti!

How to judge a guy by his shoes.

V-Day season is upon us again, and even though I’m in a relationship this year, I still feel like I want to punch people whenever I see little red hearts dotting store windows. I’m not a big proponent of the “show your love for someone by throwing money at him” school of thought. I am, however, all for gifts that are thoughtful, useful, and CHEAP.

Hearing me out? Read on.

- If you want to go traditional, mix up the monotony. Candy and flowers are nice and don’t break the bank, but apparently they are not great for the planet, so why not choose something a bit different this year? A box of fair-trade, organic chocolates won’t run you more than 20 bucks, and they’re made with more care and better-quality ingredients than that Russell Stover collection.

- Does your boo like to spin the tunes? Make him a mix CD. I know, I know—that’s so sixth grade—but really, it’s a very thoughtful gift that can’t come from anyone except you. Go through your playlist and mountains of CDs to pick out songs that remind you of that special someone, burn ‘em off, and make a pretty liner and cover for the CD. Done! Read More »

Romeo and Juliet probably would not have been the famous star-crossed lovers had they met at a bar instead of a balcony. We all remember the duo that defined infatuation, Juliet up on her pedestal and Romeo down on one knee. Though I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the times have changed since the days of poetic love letters and walking a girl to the front door.

Despite what Taylor Swift might sing.

Let’s not be blinded by St. Valentine himself. A few secret admirers are sprouting up these days and chocolates may end up in my mailbox on the 14^th of February, but I want to focus on the other 364 calendar days. Where did dinner at a nice restaurant go? Why are guys no longer lending a sweater when my arms get chilly? How come the term “first date” is becoming just as out-of-date as the Spice Girls’ famous “girl power” slogan?

Let’s face it: Chivalry is dead on college campuses. Feel free to send flowers because a guy is not about to.  The love letters that used to bear hearts and souls have been replaced by 140 character text messages. That first date is more likely to involve a grungy couch at 2a.m., not a romantically lit table for two. Gone are the days of sweaty palms and Cupid’s arrows. These days college courtship revolves around Facebook “pokes” and the highly anticipated changing of the status from “single” to “in a relationship”.

I hear tales all the time from my parents and extended family that involve sweet little love stories laced with flowers left on the doorstep and first dates where a guy actually met the parents. And he picked the girl up. And he actually took her somewhere that didn’t include Solo cups and a $5 cover charge.

Crazy, I know. Read More »

It has been about sixteen hours since Taylor Swift won the Grammy for album of the year and I’m still fuming. My heart hasn’t stopped pounding and I haven’t been able to eat a thing (though that might have something to do with the half gallon of hummus I housed during the show).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Taylor Swift is overrated.
And if I was at the Grammys last night, I probably would have chugged a bottle of Hennessy and jumped on the stage to pull a Kanye.

I’ve heard your arguments:
Taylor writes her own music.
She’s the fresh new face of country.
Her songs are really good.
“I actually hate you for writing this article.” (Nice comment from a reader.)

I get it. (Well, not the “I hate you” part; I’m really quite lovable!) I like to sing along to “You Belong With Me” just as much as the next drunk girl (or guy – why do they know every word!?) and I agree that Taylor’s totally cute and gracious and all that jazz. But I just can’t see how anyone can think Taylor Swift’s debut album is better than a single album nominated against her last night, especially Lady Gaga. Read More »

As stores begin to release their spring lines, I am finding myself torn.

Of course I can barely contain my excitement at the thought of wearing floral mini dresses and buying a pair of the must-have pastel jeans. But then I catch a glimpse of my leather jacket thrown over my chair and feel a pang of guilt.

Will my go-to winter pieces ever understand that I don’t have a choice? Come spring I will be forced to stuff away my motorcycle jacket in a box with my cashmere sweater and leather boots, and lock them away until next winter. And for a while I will forget about them, too excited by the fact that white pants and open toed shoes are back in my wardrobe. And they will sit there, cold and lonely, until the snow begins to fall once again. Read More »

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to pad that resume? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I don’t like drinking but I feel like that’s all there ever is to do in my college town on the weekends. What are people supposed to do in college who don’t like to get wasted every night? And how are we supposed to find friends when all they ever do is go out and get drunk?

GPA Girl:

Wow, do I ever feel your pain. In my experience, there are lots of us non-drinkers out there, especially at the beginning of undergrad, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to do things other than get trashed. Not to mention that people who don’t like to drink are usually introverted, so it can be harder to find them and befriend them in the first place. Sigh. The deck is stacked against you, girl. But here is some good news: I managed to find amazing, incredible, awesome friends in college even though I didn’t drink a drop. Most of my friends did drink occasionally, but they shared my lack of interest in getting blasted at large parties every weekend.  Read More »

Thank god for bikini waxes, right Gaga?

As we all know, The Grammys engulfed the television sets of many last night for an evening full of awe-inspiring musical performances and the outrageously and glamorously dressed.   From the minute I glued myself to my couch with my left-over Chinese food to the minute Taylor Swift accepted her award for Album of The Year, the Grammys did not seize to amaze me and leave me in an abyss of un-answered questions.

Let us recap.

Who was the kid Rihanna and Jay-Z brought up to accept their award; a mysterious love child?

And what happened to my home girl, Lady Gaga? I was pleasantly freaked out by her presence only once. Couldn’t the Grammys have chosen one of the five awards presented to be accepted by Gagaloo herself?

Where was Britney Spears? Where was Kanye? Why didn’t he drop down from the rafters every (effing) time Taylor won an award?

And let’s talk about water acrobatics… in the air…. while singing….with a sparkly vagina; why doesn’t Pink get more credit? Or any credit?

And, really, while no one told me I’d need my 3-D glasses for the MJ tribute (and watching without it gave me a headache), why was everyone at the Grammys wearing them? I mean, isn’t being there already 3-D?

But the biggest question of all (well, besides why people are still giving Taylor Swift awards) is who had the best performance of them all last night. Because that’s what it’s all about, right? I mean, I thought the Grammys were about giving awards, but I guess I was wrong because there were, like, 4 acceptance speeches the whole night. But the performances were some of the best I’ve seen since Janet flashed her nip at the Super Bowl. Read More »

As preparations for Super Bowl Sunday commence, you may be wondering how your upcoming football fiestas will contribute to the post-holiday weight loss plan you drew up on January 2nd. You’ve been faithful to your diet since you packed on a few lbs with an abundance of Christmas cookies and egg nog, but now you will be faced with temptation. In the form of dips and the fried things you stick in them.

As someone that has never been able to look the other way when there are snacks on the table (and feel a constant urge to reach out my hand and grab a few them all), I have come up with some healthier options to help you stay slim and satisfied at the same time.

What not to make/eat: Grandma’s Seven Layer Mexican Chip Dip

Weve all sampled this delicious partner to the trusty Tostito. Made with one layer each of refried beans, sour cream, guacamole, cheese, salsa, olives and lettuce, you’re bound to gobble up hundreds of calories. Add tortilla chips or tacos to the mix and you’ll really be in trouble. Plus, it’s so good that you know you won´t stop eating after just a few bites.

What to make/eat instead: If you can´t kick your craving for something creamy, substitute a low-fat dressing (Ken´s brand Light Caesar and Ranch are two of my personal favorites) for the dip and fill a bowl with veggies instead of chips. If you can´t go the vegetable route (because the guys won’t stop making fun of you), buy low-fat Wheat Thins, Triscuits, or pita chips instead of the greasy Tostitos. Read More »

What brings Taylor and Kanye together?

Kristen Bell’s gettin’ hitched.

Looks like this girl will be seeing Spiderman.

So who is Padma’s baby daddy?

Wanna tone up? Try these new exercises.

I’m not even sure what to say about Noah Cyrus.