Can We Talk About The Bachelor!?

I planned my entire Monday around the season finale of The Bachelor. I checked and re-checked my DVR three times before leaving the house for my 6pm hair appointment. I picked up dinner, cupcakes and a bottle of wine on my way home. Knowing that I would be starting the show late (I had to wait for my friend to finish class), I kept my computer and cellphone off out of fear that someone might spoil the ending for me before I got to watch it for myself.

By Lauren

And then, after all the waiting, my friend and I busted open that bottle of wine and settled in to watch the final episode of The Bachelor (on the wings of loooooove).

There were a lot of tears (from them and from us), a lot of screams (“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?), a lot of questions (“Why are Vienna’s teeth so big?”), a lot of wine, and a lot of lessons learned. Below, the 11 things I learned from last night’s big finale:

1. Turning the show into a drinking game where we took a sip every time someone cried was a terrible idea. Especially when that was the first time I’ve drank in a month.

2. My DVR isn’t smart enough after recording 24 full hours to this show over the course of the season to know that I might also want to record “After The Final Rose.”

3. Vienna could really benefit from a deep conditioning treatment.

4. Jake is going to be a really cute old man one day.

5. It is possible to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on (on national TV) and still look pretty when you cry.

6. It was probably not the best idea to watch with my friend who was recently dumped.

7. It was probably not the best idea to watch with my friend who was recently dumped by a guy who told her “I can’t explain it, but I just can’t commit to you.”

8. A chocolate cupcake filled with peanut butter and topped with chocolate ganache cures all heartache.

9. If you fast forward through all the montages and commercials, you can get through this 2-hour show in an hour and fifteen minutes.

10. Jake may not have the best taste in women, but homeboy knows a thing or two about insanely gorgeous engagement rings.

11. It’s nearly impossible to get “On The Wings of Love” out of your head.

So my dedication to this show wasn’t a total loss. While Jake and Vienna probably won’t last as long as this killer wine hangover, at least I took away some valuable lessons that will last me a lifetime.

OK, now it’s time to talk about it. What did you think about last night’s finale? Did Jake make the right choice? Let’s hash it all out in the comments!