Forget the Water Bra – Get a Beer Bra!

By Jessica

Who ever thought the phrase “It’s time to breast feed” could become the world’s greatest pick-up line and make you the most popular girl around? Possibly the best invention since the World Wide Web, a new drinking device may just make this true.  We introduce you to your new best friend:

The Wine Rack.

Yeah, the product name is great, but the actual product is even better.

This handy bra can hold up to 3.5 bottles of wine, 64 shots of your favorite poison, or nearly 7 beers. And with the attached straw, you can sip, sip, sip to your heart’s content.

Holding liquor in your bra? WHY have I never thought of this?  The brilliance!  This bra kills about 27 birds with one stone.  A couple of dead birds:

1.  Best padded bra ever. You’ll start off the night with an enhanced rack, and by the time the liquor is drained, everyone else’s beer goggles will be so thick that they won’t even notice your deflation.

2.  You can sneak your booze of choice anywhere.  Graduation, class, your nerdy cousin’s piano recital,  AA meetings….  it’s at your service whenever you need it.  Practically the Onstar of alcoholism.

3.  You will easily be the coolest girl at any party. You spot a hot guy… so does every other girl.  They all mutter awkward forgettable “Uh hey, my name is uh something, what’s yours?” statements to him and his sidekicks.  And then you interject, “Hey!  I’ve got some Jack in my bra, wanna sip?” BAM. You win.

If anyone ever deserved a Nobel Prize, it’s whoever came up with this idea. Bravo, makers of the Wine Rack. BRAVO!!