Oscar Fashion – What Were They Thinking (Literally)?

By Jessica

There’s something about the Oscars that brings out the awkwardness in our favorite Hollywood stars and starlets.  On the red carpet, we get to hear the awkward comments celebs make when they aren’t scripted.  On stage, we get to hear the awkward comments the presenters make when they are scripted and given the corniest jokes to deliver.  Best of all, are the awkward pauses after those corny jokes when no one laughs. And when asked how they “feel” to be here, most nominees will respond with variations of “amazing” “speechless” and “honored.”

These are the expected/accepted answers, but even though these are the elitist of the Hollywood elite, the Oscar guests are humans after all, and they have to be thinking SOMETHING else.  So… what were they really thinking?

Let’s find out….

“These darts could poke an eye out”- Elisabetta Canalis
“Forget that. Am I still a hot older man with my grey comb over?”- George Clooney

“Gabourey, girl, you look good, but I’m still the most fabulous large-and-in-charge girl”- Queen Latifah

“I think this is how to look sexy but not slutty now that I’m married.”- Mariah Carey

“Does this dress make my shoulders look slumped?”- Miley Cirus

“It’s fine that I’m glowing orange, every guy wears make up on the red carpet.” – Taylor Lautner

“I’m glad I have these large rosettes in case people forget where my boobs are.” – Charlize Theron

“God I wish I hadn’t thrown the Heart of the Ocean overboard. I guess this giant necklace will do.” – Kate Winslet

“Make the sexy face. Maybe then no one will notice I’m too short for my dress.” – Jennifer Lopez

“I can’t wait to get married in Cinderella’s castle.”- Amanda Seyfried

“Who says you can’t do a DIY Oscar gown with an old tube top and some leftover gift wrap?” – Zoe Saldana

….But most of all, “I’d like to thank the fans.”