March 10, 2010 12:00 pm Posted in Entertainment
A few weeks ago we learned that men are such fragile beings that they tend to buy condoms that are too big for them instead of admitting (to the CVS lady) that their junk is on the smaller side. And now we’ve discovered that less-endowed men aren’t the only ones with a condom sizing issue – 12-year-old-boys can’t seem to find condoms in their middle school size, either.
Yes, you read that right – 12-year-old boys. Buying condoms. And, gross, having sex.
In an effort to keep those little boys safe, Switzerland, the geniuses that they are, have introduced a smaller condom called the HotShot. OF COURSE! Why discourage 6th graders from getting it on when you can just make a smaller condom? Little kids should obviously use condoms, that’s just responsible…much like having sex when you’re 12.
And as long as the Swiss are creating things for our younger friends (or the kids that we babysit for…), I wouldn’t be surprised if they took it one step further. Perhaps it’s time to start making smaller cigarettes to fit in those little hands, Hello Kitty vibrators, Spongebob Squarepants flasks (for those long days on the playground), or even a Hannah Montana bong (“The climb totally speaks to me. ZOMG, why are my light up sneakers so BIG?!”).
Or maybe the swiss should stick to what they know (watches, pocket knives) and let kids be kids. My god – I know they’re growing up fast, but this is just too much.