Condoms…for Kids?

A few weeks ago we learned that men are such fragile beings that they tend to buy condoms that are too big for them instead of admitting (to the CVS lady) that their junk is on the smaller side. And now we’ve discovered that less-endowed men aren’t the only ones with a condom sizing issue – 12-year-old-boys can’t seem to find condoms in their middle school size, either.

Yes, you read that right – 12-year-old boys. Buying condoms. And, gross, having sex.

In an effort to keep those little boys safe, Switzerland, the geniuses that they are, have introduced a smaller condom called the HotShot.  OF COURSE! Why discourage 6th graders from getting it on when you can just make a smaller condom?  Little kids should obviously use condoms, that’s just responsible…much like having sex when you’re 12.

And as long as the Swiss are creating things for our younger friends (or the kids that we babysit for…), I wouldn’t be surprised if they took it one step further. Perhaps it’s time to start making smaller cigarettes to fit in those little hands, Hello Kitty vibrators, Spongebob Squarepants flasks (for those long days on the playground), or even a Hannah Montana bong (“The climb totally speaks to me. ZOMG, why are my light up sneakers so BIG?!”).

Or maybe the swiss should stick to what they know (watches, pocket knives) and let kids be kids. My god – I know they’re growing up fast, but this is just too much.



  1. Roberto says:

    Spongebob Squarepants flasks (for those long days on the playground), or even a Hannah Montana bong


  2. Sarah says:

    Hahahaha this is so wrong. There totally already is a Hello Kitty vibrator– just google it. And I bet anything that a Hannah Montana bong exists somewhere on some college campus…

  3. Nick says:

    What's grosser?

    12 year old boys having sex with condoms that fit and function properly

    12 year old boys having sex with adult condoms that are ineffective

    12 year old boys having unprotected sex

    Trying to prevent consensual behavior by making it more difficult or dangerous is futile – it only ends up harming the people involved. What's better for everyone is to make sure that if 12 year olds are going to have sex at least they have protection that works.

  4. Eleanor says:

    Yeah, this is the same argument people use when they try to make birth control illegal or hard to get for minors. They shouldn't be having sex, so we should hide birth control from them! Women outside of marriage shouldn't be having sex, we shouldn't be distributing condoms in the campus health center! The comparisons go on and on. The reality is, if 12-year olds are having sex, there should be condoms that fit them. Reading the first Google article about this: the company decided to make them "in response to a study that indicated young teens regularly engage in unprotected sex," and "Several organizations, including family planning groups, have campaigned for the production of small condoms". Sounds like there is definitely a need.

  5. Tamara says:

    I agree with Eleanor; the only way to prevent kids from engaging in activities they're not ready to cope with is with education, not by making this activities any more dangerous phisically than they already are (psychologically). It is proven that sex education takes up and not down the age where sexual activity begins, so the solution is not to "stop them" by harming them; if 12 year old kid are having sex, we should just talk about it more openly with them.

    And Nick is right too: 12 year olds having sex is a problem, but 12 years olds pregnant and infected with STD's is a biggero one.

  6. Emily says:

    Gross that kids are having sex, but not gross that they are at least doing it protected. The Swiss just understand that you can't stop all undesirable behavior, so you might as well make it as safe as possible.

  7. Renee says:

    As disturbing as it is, if a kid wants to do it and plans on it, they will without or without proper protection. SO might as well make the protection in their size. I mean we all know by throwing "don't have sex" down teenagers throat doesn't stop them from doing it. So better to have them educated and prepared so they can be safe. You can't stop it, so make sure its safe

  8. AshleyLauren says:

    my friend has a Hello Kitty vibrator that she got in Tokyo…

  9. Lisa says:

    One thing I want to say comes from my experiences in a middle Georgia middle school. Two kids had sex at age 13, and the girl got pregnant. Even if there had been properly sized condoms, they probably wouldn't have used them – let's face it, kids that young often aren't thinking about that protection stuff, or know they can get pregnant, or are just, you know, actually READY for sex. Typically, those having sex at 12 aren't the most mature and brilliant of the bunch (not insulting anyone).

    I think condoms that are there for those kids are great, but what 12 year old has enough money and common sense to buy them?

  10. syd says:

    Lisa: condoms are very cheap, even free. At twelve years old, I could have afforded it. Don't most kids have allowance, pocket money, or birthday money to some extent? You really only need change to have a condom. Now common sense, that's another thing….

    However, I'm torn. Twelve year olds should NOT be having sex. This isn't something based on opinion, like 'unmarried adults and older teens shouldn't have sex.' There are about zero twelve year olds mentally and emotionally capable of having sex, and not too many who are physically capable of it. No twelve year old should ever have sex. But they'll do it anyway if that's what they want….maybe better sex ed to cut down on the need to make condoms for babies?

  11. Christie - NC State says:

    Funny story: there is a Hello Kitty vibrator.

    Personally, I don't own any vibrators (or any toys for that matter), but ya gotta admit it's cute! haha.

    On a serious note though, I think it's pretty ridiculous that 12 year old boys are having sex. I don't think they're emotionally mature enough for that, but their parents should be instilling that into them. If they do decide to have sex, I think it's important they are practicing safe sex.

    Because let's face it, they aren't mature enough to be having sex, and they sure aren't mature enough to be having kids either.

  12. Austin says:

    what are some of you on. 12. Sex. Awsome

  13. RIKO says:

    Honestly, is twelve year old sex so rampant that it has become a problem?

  14. Rummy says:

    The hell?

    So no contraception options for the 12 year-olds already having sex is better? It's not like these condoms are going to spur more 1 year-olds into having sex. "Hey, now that there is a condom that fits me and will ensure that my girlfriend won't get pregnant, we should totally have sex!" Yeah, that's just not how a 12 year-old brain works. The fact that 12 year-olds have sex is a creation of society if anything.

  15. […] We were disturbed by the thought of condoms for kids. […]

  16. Jenna says:

    If they are having sex at 12 without them already wouldn't it be better to just give them some protection? And do not start ridiculing the Swiss, their schooling system is rated as the best in the world!

  17. Sex Enjoyer says:

    You are a nazi. Nobody should be banned from doing a harmless act – and those condoms help to make it harmless.

  18. tj says:

    haha i'm torn on the issue too, but i found this article hilarious either way :)!

  19. This site sucks says:

    The author of this article is a total moron. It seems that children are having sex. Yep, it's not a nice mental image, but it seems that you bloviating on your blog is not going to stop them. Adequate, informed, and honest sex education will deter many children from having sex before they are emotionally ready for it; many other kids aren't interested in sex at all. But the point is that SOME children are having sex, and statistics show that this sex is largely unprotected.

    As many other commenters who are far wiser than the idiot who wrote this article have already pointed out, would we rather come to terms with the fact that kids are having sex and make contraceptives available to them, or would we rather deny the truth and end up dealing with teen pregnancies and children infected with STDs?

    To the author of this article: the next time you think of expressing an opinion… don't. It will invariably be wrong and expose you as the reprehensible idiot you are.

  20. Casey says:

    The fact is, what 12 year old can afford a condom? or is wise enough to actually spend what little money they may have on them? If parents are buying condoms FOR their twelve year olds, THAT is an issue in and of itself. Instead of mass producing mini condoms, how about putting that money toward sex education for the youngsters?

  21. bayden says:

    i think if a 12 year old is going to have sex they should at least be protected for example if a 12 year old has a girlfriend the parents should buy protection and if they hear them planing to have sex then give the child a condom with a brief conversation not to have sex yet but at least if they still do witch 8 out of 10 times they will. they will be protected but still 12 year olds shouldnt have sex its just gross and way to early.

  22. […] essentially wasting it for them? If students choose to have sex, shouldn’t they at least be adult enough to remember to make a drugstore run before the big […]

  23. K says:

    I think older men need super tiny condoms for their super tiny penises…and don't want to admit it. So they want to be able say that they are buying them for their 12 year old son, when it really is for them.

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