Men Don’t Feel Guilt, But Is This a Bad Thing?

To state the obvious, we as people make decisions based on their potential outcomes.  We evaluate each possible cause and effect scenario while maintaining focus on what is “right vs. wrong” according to society. (Well, when we’re sober, at least.) The concept of “doing the right thing” is ultimately what steers our actions.  In short, the decisions we make in life do not directly correspond to the things we necessarily want.  We embrace the idea of free will, but can we ever really be “free” when we are constantly restricted by our own self-limitations?

By Jessica

When evaluating the main driving forces of our decisions, the power of guilt seems to be a leader in the race. On a day-to-day basis, we are forced to do things out of guilt.  If our actions could hurt someone else, we opt out of doing things we may personally want just to avoid the guilt.  And of course, we are often left to feel guilty for an infinite amount of time over our regrettable actions.

In this theory, however, it is hard to determine if this “we” means “we as people” or “we as women.”  A recent study by psychological researchers in Spain indicates that women in fact, do feel more guilt than men.  Beyond the conclusion that men are from Mars and that women are from Venus, the study has proven that we are actually genetically different when it comes to this emotion.  Neuroscientist Simon Baron-Cohen writes: “The female brain is predominately hard-wired for empathy. The male brain is predominately hard-wired for understanding and building systems.”  (And yes, before you go Googling, he is related to Borat, they are cousins.  So much for credibility…)

A report of the study by MSNBC describes how this proof can be used to support claims that “men should be more like women.”  When it comes to love, life, emotion, and now guilt, it is easy to blame men for all of the downfalls.  Perhaps, convincing ourselves that men are emotionless is the only tactic that lets us keep our sanity.  If only they were in touch with their feelings, if only we could “fix” them, if only.  Then all of our problems would be solved.

Finally: science to validate our coffee talk.

As rewarding as it may be, I have to stop and wonder, doesn’t the study prove the exact opposite? If men do feel less guilt than women, instead of “fixing” them, shouldn’t we be more like them? Wouldn’t we all be happier if guilt wasn’t the flavor of the infamous chip on our shoulder?

Undoubtedly, there are times when we should feel guilt.  If you sleep with your sister’s boyfriend, yes, you should feel guilty.  When mistakes are made, it is such guilt that prevents us from making them again.  The MSNBC article proposes that if men were to feel more guilt, there would be fewer instances of “Tiger Woods” and “John Edwards” situations.  I would have to disagree because of the simple fact that this study, along with any human behavior study, is a generalization.  There will always be exceptions.  Women as a whole succumb to guilt, yes, but there are many women whose sinful actions reflect no guilt.  There are still sociopathic women who feel no remorse for murder, to note an extreme example.  Even if we were able to “fix” men so that they generally felt as much guilt as women, the Tigers of the world would still exist.

On a completely separate tangent, if men were to reflect, analyze, and regret their actions to the extent that we do, could you imagine how much more coffee talk we’d all have to take part in??

So before you bask in the glory that someone has proven that we need to “fix” men, pour another cup, consider how much happier you’d be if you were to take on the carefree lifestyle of your male counterpart, and sip on that ladies.

(P.S. if the caffeine overdose causes you to spill on the couch…try not to feel too guilty.  Unless it is your Jewish mother’s couch, you stand no chance.)