Coupled. And Getting Older (Together)

March 18, 2010     Posted in Relationships

For those of you who don’t know me and for some reason wish you knew more, my 21st birthday is Friday. That means no more sitting at home while my friends go to Austin’s famed 6th street, no more waiting in the car while my boyfriend buys booze, etc. It’s time for me to face it, I’m getting slightly older. With this lovely realization makes me realize that I’m not just growing old, I’m growing old with my boyfriend, Matt.

13

By Sarabeth

So far we’ve spent 2 birthdays each with one another, and with every year our relationship seems to get much more permanent. I know this shouldn’t just be dawning on me now, but if all goes to plan I’m going to be spending all of my birthdays with Matt. It’s a really comforting thought, but it’s also a bit scary.

On the one side, it’s really comforting because, well, let’s face it, nobody wants to die alone. I sleep better at night knowing that there’s somebody who’s going to love me when I’m old and wrinkly. On the other side, it’s kinda scary because, while I’m getting older, I still feel really young. Trust me when I say there are a lot of people who think I’m crazy for being committed to someone in my very early twenties. What if they’re right?

Well guess what, peoples of the internet: I don’t care what you think. I’m going to enjoy every single birthday I can with my boyfriend whom I love very much. From where I’m standing, there’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults falling in love. I don’t understand why people treat me like a doe-eyed 16-year-old girl when in fact, I’m a woman. I’ve had failed relationships, and I’ve learned from them. I know deep down that Matt’s the only person I want to spend the rest of my birthdays with. (And who I want holding my hair back on this particularly monumental one…)

If not this birthday, then which birthday will it be that people decide that it’s finally a-ok for me to be in a serious relationship? I get the feeling that the jury is out on that decision, so I’m going to go on with my life without caring what all the negative people think. or all those others who read this weekly dose of cuteness, thanks for being supportive; it’s really appreciated. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get a drink that I’ve waited 21 years to buy.

(OK, I’m gonna order the drink I’ve been waiting 21 years to buy and have my loving BF pick up the tab…. it is my birthday, after all.)

13 Comments on "Coupled. And Getting Older (Together)"

  1. Sara says:
    Thu, 18th Mar 20102:47 pm 

    i can totally relate! i'm turning 21 in a few weeks and party planning with my bf (with whom i've also celebrated the past 2 birthdays). most of our friends are single and don't understand our relationship but reading your column gives me hope for us, even though we're still pretty young.

    hope you have a happy birthday!

  2. Roberto says:
    Thu, 18th Mar 20103:51 pm 

    man sounds word, congrats

    Also UT is awesome esp SXSW

  3. Sarah says:
    Thu, 18th Mar 20106:37 pm 

    I feel like I wrote this article. Who the eff cares if I am in love? Everyone makes a big deal out of it, "I have a boyfriend" gets the response "Oh, Im sorry" (from other guys). I love being in love with the man I love!

  4. Alex says:
    Thu, 18th Mar 20108:33 pm 

    I'm in an LTR too and feel the same way! More power to you! :)

    Oh, and happy birthday!

  5. Candie says:
    Thu, 18th Mar 20109:08 pm 

    Stop acting so defensive, no one is hating on you!

  6. Mel says:
    Fri, 19th Mar 20108:59 am 

    i totally agree with sarah, it feels like i wrote this article and it's really great to know that someone else is going through the same things i am. keep the fabulous coupled articles coming and have a wonderful birthday :)

  7. Debbie Downer says:
    Sat, 20th Mar 20106:08 pm 

    Sounds like you guys are happy; the breakup will be a bad one.

  8. beccap says:
    Sat, 20th Mar 201010:42 pm 

    oh my god, i feel like you're talking about me! i've been in a very serious, committed relationship for five years and i'll only be twenty-one in a few months! my friends used to make such a huge deal out of it all. they're used to it now, but every once in awhile someone new will start it all up again. the only downfall is that i can't really relate to people who go through breakups ex's and new beginnings because i've always been with the same guy. i think that might be okay, though.

  9. Meregan says:
    Sun, 21st Mar 20104:06 pm 

    I can seriously relate…I'm getting married in less than a year to my wonderful fiance and I'm 23. I'm a teacher and I even have students telling me I'm too young! When will people realize that love and commitment can come at any age?

  10. heins says:
    Mon, 22nd Mar 20102:59 pm 

    yeah – isnt it nice to feel that way?

    But do you know how many relationships fail after a really long time? How many people seperate after more than five years, most of whom never thought that would happen to them?

    And the worst part about that is to recover from such a relationship, just ask the other writers on here.

  11. ana says:
    Tue, 23rd Mar 20105:51 am 

    your 21 and you still feel young, its probably BC 21 IS A YOUNG AGE! just do what feels right to you, it does not matter whether you feel old enough or young enough to be in a serious relationship, just do what you feel comfortable with and at whatever pace you feel comfortable with as well.

  12. Danielle says:
    Fri, 26th Mar 20103:18 pm 

    Any relationship, whether you are young or old, could end up lasting the rest of your life or just a short time. It's just as true of people in their 40s rushing into second or third marriages that end up in the can, as it is true for our grandparents who met when they were 15 but lasted until the end of their days.

    The things that keep people together are love, trust, commitment and maturity. Who is to say any 20 year old is less or more mature than somebody at 30? It just depends on the people, their situation and their emotional maturity!

    No matter if it lasts for the rest of your life or it suddenly ends, you have to be grateful that you have it NOW. Don't let any fears of the future or society's views/pressures get in the way of enjoying what you have, however long you have it.

  13. N says:
    Wed, 11th Aug 20105:33 am 

    Danielle says it perfectly!

    I hope you and Matt last a long, long time :)

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