Sexy Time: Swinging Both Ways

Before I graduated high school, my friends and I had an ongoing joke about the college life. More specifically, we would semi-kid about the drunken “lesbian experience” that the crazy nights of college parties would inevitably bring. As it turns out, many of my ideas about college life that I learned from Van Wilder and American Pie movies aren’t quite accurate. I don’t wake up in the morning and have a beer for breakfast, I’ve never woken up naked next to someone I don’t know (yet…  only kidding!), and I don’t live solely off of KD and hot dogs (although I would like to).  But I did prove the one stereotype correct – I did have that drunken “lesbian experience”, and to my surprise, I really liked it.

Sorry CollegeCandy readers, but I’m not sharing details. All I can say is it was a fun night that involved a lot of alcohol and a we-really-hope-she’s-sleeping roommate situation. Good times. Anyways, while this was something I was hoping to cross off of my bucket list, I never really realized that I was actually interested in women. Did this make me a lesbian? Was I bisexual? Pansexual? Bi-curious? The labels didn’t really matter to me. I just accepted that I like what I like, and that’s okay.

If you allow me to make some broad generalizations, here are my favorite and least favorite things about being with both guys and girls:

Guys: I know a couple guys who are just a little obsessed with the size of their penis.
Girls: I have never in my life heard a girl talk about how she wishes she had a bigger vagina.

Guys: finish, and they’re out of commission for a good 20 minutes to an hour, depending on the dude. Of course, there are other things they can do for you… but does anyone ever really do that? In my experience, when he’s done, the sex is typically done as well. This has always been okay with me, but then I realize that…
Girls: can keep going and going and going and going. I’m actually curious about that — how does girl-on-girl sex actually end? Could we just set a mutual quota of 10 or so orgasms per sack session? Sounds kinda nice actually.

Guys: There’s always that worry in the back of your mind as to whether or not a guy is comparing you to something unattainable – something he saw in a magazine. I’m hot and all, but I’m no Kate Moss. I don’t know how many women’s bodies he’s seen, and I don’t know what he expects to see when he looks at mine.
Girls: To be honest, it’s not often I see a girl who is truly unattractive. I find all women beautiful. But at the same time, it’s kind of nice to see that the girl I’m naked with has cellulite on her legs — just like me, or she gets rolls when she bends over — just like me, and she’s still completely gorgeous (just like me?). It kind of gives you a sense of feeling normal about your imperfections.

Girls: studies show that up to 50% of women fake orgasms. How do I know when I’m doing it right!?
Guys: after sex with a guy, you KNOW you did a good job. There’s um… evidence.

Girls: get PMS. I know because I get it too. How exactly would sex work between two hormonal women? I predict fighting, passionate make-up sex, and then maybe a little post-coital crying. I’m not being sexist, I’ve actually (embarrassingly) been there.
Guys: will never, ever get PMS. Lucky bastards.

Guys: Penis = awesome.
Girls: Vagina = awesome.

See my problem here?

The truth is that there are pros and cons with getting busy with both sexes. There’s a lot to learn from different experiences, and I would totally encourage anyone who’s a little curious about exploring their sexuality with someone of the same sex to go for it. Seriously, if you can find the right person, it’s a good time. And if it ends up not being your cup of tea, at least you can say you tried! :)

Do you have any same-sex experiences? Please feel free to share! What advice would you have for someone exploring his or her new-found love for the same sex?



  1. Kimberly says:

    I'm bisexual and have had a hard time trying to figure out which girls are lesbian/bisexual and which ones are straight (other than the girls are more butch). Any advice on how to tell or even how to meet bisexual/lesbians?

    1. Jennifer says:

      Good luck! :P I don't dress butch at all! Which is why I feel it is so confusing to know which girls are open to girl sex.

  2. I'm wondering the same thing! So if anyone has any advice, please let us know! haha

  3. bibaby says:

    No idea. If they're into girls openly, they're pretty open, and if not, are really shy, so it's hit or miss!

    As for the guys not getting PMS, I have to disagree :P Mine gets it without the cramps and bleeding, but man does he have his occasional moods :P

  4. […] From College Candy: The obligatory sexual experimentation with lesbianism in school. […]

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  9. playtimenow says:

    you know what, all flesh is good flesh!!!

  10. Bay-bay_love says:

    I think it is partly the college experience tat brings it out in women (not to say there were no previous curiosity) but being around a lot of alcohol, having hormones and being around a lot of new often hott people can reallllllyyyy make things cloudy, i know i've had my hookups (even with best friends) and nothings really changed. :) i still like guys and can still want to touch the feminine side whenever i party, its a win win :P

  11. Joe says:

    Why not just be openly bisexual instead of using alcohol to do it?

    Need to change society's perceptions.

  12. […] Advice on swinging both ways … from a swinger. (College Candy) […]

  13. Jennifer says:

    I'm in the same boat. I got to half experience it. What I mean is, (not drunk! which is the reason why I would almost say that I am actually bi, not bi-curious) I got to make out with and feel up a girl, which was fun. I wanted more, she didn't. I had to respect that. I have a boyfriend, so I really just wanna play around. How do you find someone? And if you know a girl who has said she wanted to try girl on girl with you to your bf, how to initiate? Who goes first? Not to mention, It's almost all I think about when it comes to sex. :( It's kinda ridiculous. lol. I'm shy, and really unsure of how things work with girls. Advice??

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