I’m Sick with the Bridal Bug

March 27, 2010 1:00 pm     Posted in Reality  Kim - Stanford g+ page


By Kim

I’ve never been the girl to think about my future too much or obsess over meeting Mr. Right. I’ve met a whole lot of Mr. Wrongs lately so I’ve been happy hanging out with Mr. Right-Nows instead.

Even when I was little, unlike many other girls, I never ever fantasized about my future wedding… until now.

I’m 21 and I’ve got the bridal bug. It’s all I can think about! I don’t know if it’s all the “Say Yes to the Dress” episodes I’ve been watching (I’m obsesssssed) or if my biological clock is fiercely ticking faster, but all I can think about is weddings, weddings, weddings.

Over the past few months I’ve gone from an I’m-never-getting-married mentality to I-want a-short-ceremony-on-the-beach-250-guests-top-and-a-Monique-Lhuilier-dress-from-the-2010-spring-collection mentality. And my sudden interest in floral arrangements and color palettes is starting to freak me out.

I realize a wedding and a marriage are two completely separate concepts: a wedding lasts a day, while marriage is supposed to last forever. But I realllly want to have that one day of planned perfection right now.

Does anyone else feel this way? And should I feel bad or pathetic for feeling the way I do?

I’ve always been a huge supporter of single womanhood and feeling complete without the presence of a man or relationship, so why all of a sudden do I feel that I need a WEDDING to feel whole?

Am I starving for some attention? Is this just the natural effect of a society that has us believe from a young age that women aren’t fully complete until they’re married? Or is my uncharacteristic desire for romantic bliss a sign that I’m desperate for a relationship?

These are all questions that I just don’t have the answers to. But Dr. Phil does, obviously. According to him, if a woman is feeling any type of pressure to get married or the desire to get married (without the presence of a boyfriend…let alone a fiancé) she has lots of issues that can only be solved by these types of self-probing questions.

I’m not too keen on Dr. Phil (he seriously creeps me out), so does anyone else have better advice for me? Help me, and fast, before I pack an overnight back and camp out for Kleinfeld’s next blowout sale.

31 Comments on "I’m Sick with the Bridal Bug"

  1. Lisa says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 20108:09 am 

    I'm soooo with you. I've suddenly become OBSESSED. As long as it doesn't get to the point where you're like 'yes i'll marry you just for the wedding even if I don't love you' kind of thing, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And Dr.Phil is the new Maury, don't listen to him.

  2. Samantha says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 201010:04 am 

    I'm 20 and I pretty much have my wedding planned…..I just have to get a man first lol! I don't actually wanted to be married till I'm like 30 (I guess I'm a little gun shy) but I wouldn't mind the wedding part now lol. I think it's just that I'll get to plan an awesome party, and wear an extravagent dress that I'd never get to wear otherwise and the whole shindig will be basically all about me that I'm jonzing for. And the food. there's going to be soooo much food.

  3. E. says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 201010:07 am 

    *shrug* Sometimes people get interested in different things. It doesn't have to mean anything. Just… try not to feed it. Personally, I think marriage is a pretty darn spiffy idea, but the way weddings are handled these days is absurd – you probably shouldn't be spending $10k+ on a single day unless you're quite wealthy. Down payment on a house/a car/furniture/whatever is probably a better place for that money to go.

  4. K says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 201010:26 am 

    I have the same problematic obsession! Luckily my brother is getting married in a year so I can just focus my efforts on HIS wedding. btw E: I agree that you shouldn't have to spend a ton of money on one day, but $10K is actually on the pretty low end for weddings. You'd be surprised with how little you can get with $10K, unfortunately.

  5. Jen says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 201011:11 am 

    Kim, I'll camp out at Kleinfeld's with you! That darn show has made me want a wedding so bad, or at least to do wedding gown shopping.. to me that looks like the best part. I think it's totally normal though, what girl doesn't want the big wedding while she looks absolutely jaw dropping gorgeous with every misty eye on her?

  6. Miriam says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 201012:58 pm 

    Given that you daydream about your outfit and location and not about the man you'd be marrying, it seems like you just want to wear a pretty dress and carry some pretty flowers. I don't think your obsession with weddings actually has anything to do with love or marriage. Since you're young, I guess that's healthy.

  7. Laura says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 20104:41 pm 

    I think what's best is to find more hobbies to distract you and obsess about. Or I would reccomend a big day all about you so you have your pretty day but not all the hassle of marriage. I'm trying to saty away from the wedding bug, don't give it to me!!! Lol ;)

  8. Rachel says:
    Sat, 27th Mar 20105:42 pm 

    I dont want the wedding.

    I just want one of those dresses.

    or, actually just an appt. at Kleinfelds. haha.

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    Sun, 28th Mar 20105:58 am 

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  10. Kate says:
    Sun, 28th Mar 20107:26 am 

    I felt obsessed with weddings for a couple of weeks. It was all I could think about. Only the awkward thing was that I had a boyfriend, and it had nothing to do with him. Basically I forced myself to stop looking at wedding sites online and find something else to think about.

  11. Lauren Hooker says:
    Sun, 28th Mar 20107:43 am 

    SAME!

    I've been reading a lot of Jennifer Wiener and Emily Giffin books, which all focus on weddings, marriage and babies.

    Not to mention, it seems like all of my friends are getting married; I shouldn't feel this way until I'm at least 30, but nope, here I am, at the ripe old age of eighteen, feeling like everyone is on the path to lifelong bliss, marriage and a family.

    I've never been the type to wish for a wedding, or a freaking BABY for that matter, but lately these books have been getting to me.

    Luckily, babysitting seems to take the edge off, especially when said babysat children have meltdowns.

    Maybe it's just a phase?

  12. Meg says:
    Mon, 29th Mar 201011:47 am 

    As a person who is getting married soon (103 days, not that I'm counting) weddings are great but STRESSFUL. There is so much random crap to do, so before you get to bummed out google a bridal checklist and be grateful that you can get through finals without going "HOLY FUCK WHAT DO I DO FOR CENTERPIECES?!"

    You could always go to a David's Bridal or something and try on dresses, feel like a princess for awhile :)

    …that might make the whole thing a little worse though.

  13. Andy says:
    Mon, 29th Mar 201012:05 pm 

    My sister got married last year and being her maid of honor I totally caught the bridal bug too! But I think its more about the desire for romance and the awesome party rather than an actual marriage… maybe thats part of the reason 50% of all marriages end in divorce these days. people are more focused on pulling off the perfect wedding then the perfect marriage.

  14. Tia Miller says:
    Tue, 30th Mar 20105:30 pm 

    I love Say Yes To The Dress. I used to have to be forced to think of shopping but now its like cake shows, dress shows, and everything is jumping around in my mind.

  15. Kristie says:
    Wed, 31st Mar 20104:22 am 

    Sooo I woke up this morning and went on David's Bridal. And just now I log on to collegecandy and see this article. Crazy!

  16. Stephanie says:
    Wed, 31st Mar 20102:14 pm 

    It's got to be something in the water, I've developed an obsession for bridal magazines. Not only are they a completely impractical purchase considering my lack of boyfriends, but also kind of expensive. I thought it was just me considering my mom got married around my age (20) and it's always staring me in the face (they're still married).

  17. Jessica - Hofstra says:
    Thu, 1st Apr 20108:37 am 

    I have the same weird obsession… out of nowhere. Like, suddenly I'm daydreaming about my wedding plans, including who will be invited, what the bridesmaids will wear, and who they will be. And I'm not even close to having a boyfriend. It's kind of horrible!

  18. Margo M says:
    Fri, 2nd Apr 201011:53 am 

    Enough is enough. Okay…so I think it is totally normal to think about your wedding day. I mean it is one of those things that will probably happen. Would it be better to have some thought into it–or just let it roll? What i think is silly though is how the current media portrays weddings, and what people are supposed to have–or wait–AH! the OPTIONS! I mean from the dress to the size of the weddings options are endless.

    I think everyone can relate to having an event or a party that could have gone better.. this bridal bug is just a way for women to really take this planning thing to bigger level.

    Dr. Phil should take a break–I think he does not deserve an expert opinion on something so obviously gender sensitive.

  19. Dixon says:
    Fri, 2nd Apr 20103:40 pm 

    Do you remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?

  20. diane says:
    Fri, 2nd Apr 20104:32 pm 

    Don't think too much about it. If you get married, it will happen when you are ready and when you have found the right person. Obsessing over marriage can lead to getting married to the wrong person, specially if you think "the clock is ticking"! Don't confuse your biological needs of mating and reproduction with the desire of marriage and motherhood. If you feel obsessed right now, it's the worst time to get married. Indeed, there is a social obsession to see women married, and that spikes the need to find a husband. But…breathe, relax and enjoy your single status. Besides, you are so young!! Don't sweat it.

    P.S. I'm a therapist (just starting but I have a little experience) and a woman, so trust me…I know what I'm talking about.

  21. Corbett says:
    Sat, 3rd Apr 20103:50 pm 

    Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did they teach you?

  22. Mollination says:
    Sun, 4th Apr 20101:13 pm 

    I feel ya' girl – I think it's just that it sounds so nice. We've been to other people's weddings and they're awesome (I'm one of the few who love going to other people's weddings and feel no sense of dread). Think about it:

    1.Gifts

    2. FOOD!

    3. I imagine a huge release of Oxytocin at the excitement of pledging love in front of a ton of people

    4. Getting to look so pretty and the only occassion to wear a big white dress

    5. Friends, and family all there for YOU

    6. Dancing

    7. BOOZE

    7. BOOZE

    7. ALCOHOL

    It's like a giant-ass birthday but more important to others, with a dress and someone guaranteed to pledge his love to you, hahah.

    It *would* be nice to marry young-ish too. I menan, strictly for the photo's sake.

    But then I think about how stressed I get planning things to a T., and how much *more* stressed I get when things go wrong and I think, "Eh, I can wait." Not to mention, I don't want to regret it or the guy within 365 days (which I would if I got hitched now)

  23. Jim says:
    Mon, 5th Apr 201012:27 am 

    I skimmed through the comments and didn't notice much mention of the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with, after your conspicuous consumption-fest of a wedding. You do all realise that the wedding is the beginning, not the end? And that such bridezilla attitudes hardly encourage a man to contemplate marriage? With attitudes like this you ladies may struggle to find a man to ask you the all important question.

  24. Craig says:
    Wed, 7th Apr 20102:21 pm 

  25. Berube says:
    Sun, 11th Apr 201011:20 am 

    People are crazy sometimes =)

  26. Wilson says:
    Tue, 13th Apr 20103:49 am 

    Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

  27. Sweetlilpsycho says:
    Thu, 3rd Jun 20106:18 pm 

    I think it's totally normal to feel that way, you're miles ahead of a lot of women our age who don't realize they just want the wedding and not the marriage. There's nothing wrong with you, you're not going to marry the wrong guy (incidentally, if you're just starting out as a therapist, you're a book, shut up and listen more than you talk, and quit the narcissism woman! We don't have issues!) weddings are totally glamorized now, so no wonder you want one, it's consumerism at it's best! I've planned like half a dozen versions of the wedding I want. I've been married before (in a courthouse) and I want to have the real ceremony, but I'm still afraid of making another mistake. Luckily, my current boyfriend has more self control, he's crazy about me, but he knows he's not ready to get married, so he kinda reins me in. :)

    relax girls, the definition of normal is wide, everyones different, just don't let your desires run your life, think rationally, and we'll all be fine :)

  28. Tui Mein Schiff says:
    Wed, 23rd Nov 20111:50 pm 

    I got married once, I know what you are talking about :-)

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