Sexy Time: Getting Kinky

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Some people are into long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and getting fancy. Other people are into staying in, watching movies, and keeping it low key. Some people work in big office buildings bringing in the cash, while others bus tables and do dishes for minimum wage. But what do all of these people have in common?  Some of them, from any category and walk of life, are into being tied up, spanked and dominated.

That’s right, folks, kinky people are everywhere.

I know when I used to think of “kink”, I would think of a leather daddy or someone who walks their boyfriend on a leash around the mall. We tend to be taught the extremes, so I never really thought of it any other way. Once I started educating myself on what it actually means to be kinky, I realized that the kinky lifestyle isn’t always so extreme after all.

Okay, so to start with, what is a kink? What’s a fetish? Broken down very simply, a kink is something that turns you on, while a fetish is something you have a hard time getting turned on without. Kinks are typically less extreme, like high heels and handcuffs, while a fetish is typically a bit more out there – like feet, centaurs, and genital mutilation. Not that there is anything wrong with either a kink or a fetish… that’s just usually how it plays out.

So what do you do if you start dating someone and soon discover that they’ve got a bit of a kinky side? Well, for starters, realize that the fact that they told you about it in the first place is a pretty big deal, and know that how you react to it will make all the difference. They didn’t tell you they have an illegitimate love child, they just told you they’re into something a little different. React accordingly. Next step would be to remember our little chat about being GGG. How can you participate in this kink in a way that’ll work for both of you? A little enthusiasm and understanding will go a long way. Just try to think of it from their perspective; how would you want someone to react if the situation was reversed?

Well, what do you do if the situation really is reversed? If it turns out you’ve got a little kink of your own, chances are the time will come to tell your partner. Like I mentioned in the previous paragraph, don’t treat it like it’s the worst news in the world. It’s just a little kink, it’s not a big deal. It is what it is, and since I know all the people who read this column have awesome taste in partners, I know your partners will be understanding and enthusiastic, just like you would be for them. If they’re not, and something just a little “different” in bed freaks them out, it’s not worth it. I can guarantee there will be people out there who are into, or can handle whatever it is you happen to be into.

The key here is to just keep an open mind. There’s no rule that says every time you have sex it has to be “love making” and wholesome (unless, that happens to be your kink…). Accept your/your partner’s kink for what it is —  something new and exciting to try out, experiment with, and enjoy the hell out of.

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