Bromances Aren’t Built On Intimacy
While spending some much needed time with my guy friends, I’ve noticed something rather peculiar about them lately. Besides learning that I will be physically removed from the room if I utter a word during episodes of Lost, I have come face to face with their overly homoerotic relationships they hold with one another.
OK, they’re not making out, but they’re getting pretty damn close. In one example (true story) I witnessed a group of hockey guys actually doing body shots off of one another. Yes. Whipped cream and all. Talk about a physically pursued bromance. In other examples, I have been exposed to drunken snuggle fests (including fights for big spoon), long embraces, and the occasional butt slap.
Like dudes, whoa, save it for the locker room.
Was this some sort of sociological discovery? Were guys actually more intimate and emotional with one another than we had all thought? Was I going to be honored with some sort of Nobel Prize for my “research” in gender studies?
Hm, maybe not. While guys may hug it out from time to time, they’re still not sharing any sort of feelings. At all. In fact, two of the very same guy friends who have weekly Bro Dates built into their schedules were hooking up with the same girl at the same time and had no idea.
How could that be? Considering how much time they spend together, how could that never come up? What the hell are guys talking about?
Sports, apparently. In a recent article studying the difference between men’s and women’s friendships, Jeffrey Zaslow explains that while women’s friendships are face to face, “men’s friendships are side by side: We play golf. We go to football games.” (Editor’s Note: Read it! It’s really interesting!) Guys don’t talk about their feelings or their personal lives when they’re hanging out, they talk about whatever’s happening right then and there, be it a video game, a TV show or some really sick shot they just made on the golf course.
Is that weird? To us girls, yes. We’ll discuss our feelings wherever and whenever we get the chance. But, to be completely honest, it would be a whole lot weirder if, mid body shot, one burly boy looked at the other and said, “Dude, this makes me feel really insecure.”
So I guess, despite all the spooning, guys’ and girls’ relationships really are quite different. No Nobel Prize for me, but at least I’ve got some good blackmail pics in case I ever need them.