RIP Thomas Angove, Inventor of Boxed Wine

Yesterday was a very sad day for college students around the globe. Thomas Angove, inventor of boxed wine, died at the age of 92. Was it a coincidence that he chose Boxed Wine Wednesday to make his departure? I think not. The man was devoted to his life’s work until the end.

So today, to pay homage to this visionary, we at CollegeCandy are going to pour one out (Franzia Sunset Blush, of course) for Thomas Angove and take a moment to reflect on the contribution he made to society. Boxed wine has changed all of our lives for the better. Here are 5 reasons we will never forget you, Tommy:

5. It’s Portable
Have you ever tried sneaking bottles of wine into a campus library for a late night study party? What? Oh, right, me either. But someone told me it’s impossible to get past those angry librarians with those bottles clankin’ around back there. Boxes don’t clank. They also have a handy carrying strap, making them the ultimate in drinking portability.

4. It’s Easy to Open
Even if you can find a bottle opener in your dingy, disgusting college kitchen, do you even know how to use it? You stick it in, start twisting, break out in a sweat, pull on the thing too early and break the cork. Then you’re either left with floaters in your wine or, oh the horror, no wine at all because half the cork is still wedged in there. But with boxed wine? Just turn on the spout and you’re good to go.

3. It’s Versatile
Set that sucker up in the fridge for on-the-spot wine tastings, put it out on the table for classier affairs, or throw the bag in your purse for wine when you need it.

2.You Can Wear It
What do you do after you’ve killed a box of wine? You put it on your head. And it’s funny, because you’ve just drank an entire box of wine.

1. You can Slap the Bag
Have you ever heard someone scream “Slap the Bottle”? I think not.

Now let us all reach into our boxes of wine and slap the bag for Thomas Angove.

    Related TopicsEntertainment Franzia Funny


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