Pop a Bottle…With Your Bikini Bottom
Thanks to the Snuggie and its family of unnecessary-but-ridiculously-popular-useless-items, get rich quick schemes are appearing everywhere. Potheads in dorm rooms all over the country swear that their invention is the “next big thing” and have no idea how the country has functioned thus far without the “Condomizer 3000” which dispenses condoms 1 at a time like PEZ.
The latest invention: the Bottle Betty. The bikini that opens beers.
OK, I agree, it DOES sound cool – you can pop open a beer while building sandcastles. And it does make for a great party trick. But has this inventor never heard of… a key chain? I mean, is there a college student out there who doesn’t have a bottle opener hanging from their keys? And when are you really ever going to be in a bikini, with a closed beer, and your key chain nowhere in sight? Unless you find a floating Corona in the ocean…probably never.
What’s next – a bikini with a hood? Oh wait….
I wonder what Thomas Edison would say if he were alive.