5 Things I Wish I Knew About The LDR
At the end of last semester, my boyfriend was offered a Co-op for General Electric. I couldn’t have been more proud of him. General Electric is a great company, and he would be working on jet engines, which is what he wanted to do in the future. It seemed perfect. Until he told me he was going to be working four hours away.
Luckily, my boyfriend was kind enough to ask how I felt before accepting the offer. Of course, I wanted to be a self-centered control freak and tell him not to go, but then I started thinking, and I realized that it was an opportunity he just couldn’t pass up.
Now that I’m in an LDR (my first EVER), I wish someone had taken me aside and told me some things. Knowing what to expect would have made this giant change a whole lot easier on me, on my sanity and on my relationship. So that’s what I’m going to do for all of you ladies, right now. Here are five things you should know before entering a long distance relationship that I have discovered in my experience so far.
1. You will be flirted with, and you will like it. Yes, I know. Say what you want, but it’s true. I love my boyfriend, in fact we’ve even talked about getting married, but the fact of the matter is you will be lonely while he is gone. Guys will suddenly be checking you out and chatting you up. I do not plan on ever cheating on my boyfriend, but you’ll enjoy the male attention. And that’s OK! In fact, it’s normal; don’t feel like a bad girlfriend if that cute boy checking you out makes you blush. But you should never, under any circumstances, act on those feelings. A quick rush is not worth ending something with someone you truly care about (and you must have cared enough to not let distance break you up in the first place).
2. You will turn into a raging, jealous bitch at some time or another. I know, I know, you “trust him” he would “never do anything to hurt you”. The fact of the matter is, ladies, when you hear a girl in the background while you’re on the phone you will start asking questions. You WILL feel that sinking feeling in your stomach. Never mind the fact that there might be women at his work, forget the fact he’s in a restaurant for a company meeting, and to hell with his roommate’s girlfriend visiting. You will think that another girl is after your man, and you will want to drive to wherever he is, and kick her ass. Just make sure you know all of the facts before you go on a rampage.
3. You will become even closer to your friends where you are. Now that the BF is gone, you will find you have a lot of extra time. Time that you can now spend with your girls. I have been invited to parties, random late night hang outs, shopping adventures, etc. It’s not that I wasn’t invited before, it’s just now I actually have more time to join in the fun.
4. You will become even more open with your boyfriend. My boyfriend knows almost everything about me. I thought we were always open about our feelings, about our past, everything. Now that we’re apart, I realize that words are all we have. So we rely on those, and tell each other EVERYTHING that we are feeling. People are much more honest (and sometimes, brutal) over the phone than they would be in person.
5. You will have pent up (ahem) desires. Yes, that kind. I actually don’t have sex with my boyfriend (it’s a personal choice, and it’s difficult, but yes our kind still exist). On a day when you’re sad, you’ll want to be held. When you hear him say something cute, you’ll want to kiss him (okay, so you’ll want to make out with him. For hours.). But you can’t, and it sucks. It really, really sucks. It sucks so much that it makes you think crazy thoughts, wondering if he’s seeking that physical attention from someone else. Which brings me back to #2….
All in all, I know I sound really negative, yet these are things that I honestly wish I knew before entering an LDR. I love my boyfriend, and although I hate the distance between us, I know I could never be as happy with anyone else. But if you begin to feel differently, it is probably best to take a break. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder; I know it’s cliché to say, but the thing about clichés is they are true. If your feelings aren’t stronger, it might be time to re-evaluate. But if you love him and hearing his voice on the other end of the line gives you butterflies, it’s worth all of the challenges that come with the distance.