Overheard: Things We Like to Do
Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.
(Girl, boy, after a class.)
Girl: I bet you had an erection that whole lecture.
Boy: No, I didn’t.
(Two interns, talking in an office breakroom.)
Girl: I think public art is important.
Guy: And pubic art, too.
Girl: Well, that goes without saying.
(Guy, with his girlfriend, at a hairdresser.)
Girl: Oh wow! I love it!
Guy: I don’t know … I don’t look like I’m smart anymore.
(Girl, standing outside the men’s bathroom at a bar when a guy walks up.)
Girl: Hey. Hey! Don’t go in there. I know what you’re going to do in there!
(Girl, bringing a drink back to a table.)
Guy: Whad’ya get?
Girl: It’s a gimlet.
Guy: Oh. We usually freeze those. Or put them in the gravy.
(Girl and British guy, hanging out outside the dining hall.)
Guy: So … Irish Car Bombs? That’s really a thing? Like, a weapon of terrorism used to blow people up in Northern Ireland?
Girl: Yeah, I guess it’s kind of insensitive.
Guy: I mean, how would you feel if we had a drink called the Twin Towers or something?
(Extremely loud girl, at a restaurant.)
Girl: Oh, I absolutely want to f— him. Geez, and his girlfriend, I’d steal her! My vagina is absolutely interested in that. Wow! (Turns to waitress, who just showed up) Oh, yeah, can I just get a refill on my water?
(Girl and boy, heard through a screen door at a party.)
Girl: Sorry, but …
Girl: That was probably the worst sex I’ve had, ever.
Guy: Yeah, I agree, that was pretty lame. I’ll make it up to you.
Girl: No, that’s okay.
(Girl, walking out of a sex lecture.)
Girl: Wow … I just got a year’s worth of Awkward Turtles in like forty minutes.
Girl, walking through campus on the phone.)
Girl: OK, well I haven’t pooped yet today so we may have to make a stop…. No I’m Prairie Doggin’ so it should be quick.
(Two girls, following a reproductive anatomy class.)
Girl 1: Now, whenever I do anything with anyone I’m going to be thinking about this.
Girl 2: Yeah, I know
Girl 1: Yeah, like right before he gets off I’m gonna be thinking, “oh, this is secreting this, this is mixing with that.”