While getting a much-needed pedicure the other day (seriously, I felt bad for the poor girl who had to get up close and personal with my gnarly feet), I found myself watching (and sobbing with) The Notebook. I don’t know why, but my neighborhood nail salon has multiple plasma TVs that are constantly showing chic-flicks. And I like it. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of a woman massaging your feet while you immerse yourself in The Proposal. But I digress.
Obviously, most girls will agree that The Notebook is the most romantic movie of all time. We love the passion, the romance, and idea of ever-lasting love. We cry every. single. time, we watch it. We want our very own Noah, a guy who wants us badly enough that he’ll dangle from a Ferris wheel just to ask us out.
I’m with you, sisters; I watched that movie alone on a Friday night once and sobbed into a large order of Pad Thai. And that was my 6th viewing. But yesterday when I watched it again (yes, I stayed at the nail place for 2 hours so I could see the whole thing), I actually got a little angry.
One of the most endearing parts of the movie is when Noah is chasing Allie, trying to ask her out. He hits on her, follows her, risks his life to ask her on a date, shows up wherever she is and even comes up with a sneaky plan to surprise her with a double date at the movies. Eventually she gives in and 10 minutes later, they are madly in love, smushing ice cream in each other’s faces and kissing it off.
As a woman, I watch that and daydream about having someone want me enough that he’d do just about anything to get close to me. I find it sweet and romantic; Noah knows what he wants and goes for it. The same happened with Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You, Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything, and countless other dudes in every other romantic comedy ever.
But what if the roles were reversed?
What if a girl saw a guy she wanted and just kept showing up where he was? What if she kept calling him, following him and sneaking her way onto a date with him? What if she waited her whole life for him to come back to her? Even I, a girl myself, cringe at the thought. Because that’s crazy, and any guy would think so. He wouldn’t give in, go out with her and eventually die by her side in an assisted-living institution; he would de-friend her on Facebook, block her on AIM, and laugh about how psycho she is with all of his friends. And other girls would probably think the same.
I don’t know if that’s a poor reflection on men (for judging too quickly) or women (for having ridiculous ideals when it comes to dating), but it frustrates me. To no end. It pisses me off that I have to wait before I call a guy, that I have to watch what I say, and that I have to keep my distance just so he doesn’t think I’m crazy, all the while melting when a guy does some over-the-top romantic gesture for a woman. And it pisses me off even more that that’s just the way things are – that all the dating books, shows, and advice columns perpetuate this idea that woman should sit back and let a guy chase her but not dare chase him herself. How is that fair?
Gah! All this from a freaking $22 pedicure. Maybe it’s time to find a new nail place; this one’s causing me way too much stress.