Coupled. That Couple

April 29, 2010 5:00 pm     Posted in Relationships  Sarabeth - University of Texas g+ page

We are NOT these people!

A few weeks ago, one of mine and Matt’sclose friends moved out of town to go live back home. And we’ve recently found out that she’s been coming back to town on weekends without telling us. We were worried for a bit, wondering if she was mad at us and what we could have done to cause it. Well, our worst fears were confirmed. Her best friend told us that she doesn’t tell us when she’s coming back to Austin because we’ve become THAT couple.


By Sarabeth

You know who that couple is. The two people that none of their friends want to hang out with; the ones that everyone assumes are different and don’t want to do fun things anymore. They’re the couple that has been tagged old and boring. Basically, if you’re THAT couple, your friends see you as mom and dad.

To this girl, we’re the lame old people who would rather bake cookies and play Scrabble than hang out with our friends.

And that both shocks and offends me.

I am not boring, nor am I a fuddy-duddy! Yeah, I am in bed by midnight and I bake casseroles for dinner, but I also go to parties on weekends and still dream of going to Hollywood when I graduate. I may have an almost 3-year-old relationship, but I am still a 21-year-old female and, dang it, I still act like one!

We had THAT couple at my high school. They’d dated since freshman year and, big surprise, they’re engaged now. These two were essentially playing house all through high school. They actually went antiquing senior year! They were horrible to be around because the girl would always try to give everyone motherly advice, and the guy was whipped. And now my “friends” think Matt and I are just like them? It’s appalling and infuriating.

While I know this is a bit of a big fuss over one person’s opinion, part of me sees it as a big thing. I want to be the best girlfriend I can be, but I also want to be the best friend I can be. And I thought I was doing it all well. Now that I think about it (read: now that I’ve been forced to think about it) I realize my balancing act between my friends and my boyfriend has been a bit out of whack lately, but that’s because with school and all, Matt was feeling a bit neglected. Just because I devote time to my boyfriend doesn’t give my friends the right to call me boring and no fun behind my back.

But I have to get over it. I may have been too busy to be “fun” lately, but I know deep down that I have my priorities in order. If this friend doesn’t agree, well, she can go out and party with other people; she probably wasn’t that great a friend to begin with.  If she were, she’d know that Matt and I are not THAT couple.

8 Comments on "Coupled. That Couple"

  1. Charlotte says:
    Thu, 29th Apr 20103:08 pm 

    I am pretty sure my friends have that opinion of me and my boyfriend, but a lot of them have never been in love, and one of my friends just goes from guy to guy and lets them treat her like shit. I personally think it is a combination of not understanding why someone would want a lot of private time with the guy they're dating. Or someone who doesn't understand that you cant act like you're 19 forever.

  2. Miriam says:
    Thu, 29th Apr 20105:41 pm 

    OK, to put it mildly, your friend is a bitch. Your friends should accept you whether you're single or taken. Just because you don't go out and hook up with random guys doesn't mean you're boring, and a true friend would realize that.

    I'm in a long-term relationship and I've had people view me that way, too, but those aren't the people I'm close with. My real friends know that being with my boyfriend has made me a better person, and they're happy for me.

  3. criolle johnny says:
    Fri, 30th Apr 20101:11 am 

    Repeating myself … The person beside you is a reflection of your self-image. A stable, long term relationship, as opposed to a series of hook-ups.

    This doesn't take much thinking.

  4. Kenz says:
    Sat, 1st May 20108:52 am 

    I hate this. I'm starting to think people see me and my boyfriend like this as well…and the only real reason we're not partying all the time anymore is cause we're stupid busy and stupid poor. So we sit around and watch tv together cause that's all we can afford to do…people would be like 'yeah she's just busy and poor' if I was single, but no, cause i have a boyfriend we just 'don't want to hang out anymore'. That's so not it.

  5. m says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20105:08 pm 

    I can kind of see your friends point of view here. I have gone and visited some friends and not others before. It's not that I like one friend more, I just like doing different things with different friends. Example I have a good friend, super nice and sweet funny etc. but she always has to be with her boyfriend, I like her boyfriend he is a nice guy but as a couple they suck to go out with (ie bars/clubs) they are joinned at the hip, sit in a corner and always leave early. So when I am visiting for a fun weekend get away I might not tell them because I don't A) want to hurt their feelings if I don't invite them out or B) get irritated when they do come out and act as mentioned above. However I do make other trips where I plan a lunch/dinner date with them or a low key movie night. Instead of blowing off your friend and getting mad at her think about why she thinks you've become "that couple" and maybe talk to her about it.

  6. Girl says:
    Fri, 21st May 20107:47 am 

    If your friends view you as "that couple," then you probably are.

  7. Sarah says:
    Thu, 8th Jul 20107:11 pm 

    My friends definitely see my boyfriend and me as 'that couple', and I suppose we are, but the thing is, I've always been into baking and Scrabble, and he's into eating what I bake and Scrabble. :) I've always been shy and retiring, while my friends like partying every weekend; my boyfriend's been having trouble with depression and anxiety recently so he's withdrawn a bit from his friends, and we support one another. Of course it's important to still make time for your friends, but if they have a problem with you being boring and a 'fuddy duddy', they're the ones that need to grow up – they're probably jealous – and really, how long before the single lifestyle gets boring anyway?

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