One Month Challenge: Man-Free May

May 1, 2010 5:00 pm     Posted in Reality  SR g+ page

It's just me and them this month.

Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. Last month we followed Kelly as she challenged herself to a one-month shopping fast. This month it’s Samantha and her quest to be man-free for 31 days.


By SR

A wise woman (my great-grandmother) once said, “boys are like buses, another one will come around the corner in 5 minutes.” My great-grandmother also said, “if you can’t be good, be careful.” Thanks, Grammy.

In my history of interaction with the opposite sex, I have found the first to be true. Since I started dating the guy that would be come my long-term boyfriend of three years right before my Junior year of high school, there has been a steady stream of guys coming and going in my life. (Insert dirty pun here?) Whether we were just “talking,” dating, or hooking up, I’ve seldom gone a few months without any kind of male interest.

There was my boyfriend of three years, whom I dated up until the end of my freshman year of college. Then there was a friend who wanted to be more, followed by a few drunken one-night stands. Then there was Douchebag letter C, whom I let string me along for far too long. Then there was Douchebag letter T, who I let do the same. Then there was M, who I may or may not still be in love with. We met in June between my sophomore and junior years, and dated from August-January. Then there was my run with match.com. Yes, match.com. It’s a whole other story, but after dating frat-boy-doucher, a stint with an NFL player, and some planned but never executed dates with a few others, I had successfully been talking to lots of guys but getting nowhere.

[Pause] Wow, that’s a lot. I just quantified four years of my life by whom I was “dating” (the term dating is used extremely generously here). WTF? I JUST QUANTIFIED FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE BY WHOM I WAS DATING! This, ladies, is what brings me to Man-Free May.

So what is Man-Free May? Is it kind of like Mustache March? Hmm, sort-of, although my upper lip isn’t what is going to be waxed by the end of this. Gross, I know, but it’ll keep me honest.

Man-Free May is exactly as it sounds. No dates. No random makeouts. No kissing male friends. NO DRUNK TEXTING. No sexting. No instigating text/email/Facebook wall conversations with members of the opposite sex whom I would consider dating. No sex. No crying over ex-boyfriends, lost loves, or the one that I’ll never have. No (insert male-related crazy girl habit here).

Why oh why am I giving up cuddle sessions for a full month?? A few reasons. I’d love to be in another committed relationship; I’m a love junkie and miss having a partner in crime (and regular booty). Whenever I’m not in a relationship, I’m trying to be. This leads me to let guys use me, lead me on, etc., etc. Guys can tell that I want to be in a relationship – it’s just who I am – and this sends most of them running in the other direction. I’m tired of trying, tired of trying to make it happen when it’s just not what (seemingly) any members of the opposite sex are looking for when they can have a slew of drunken bimbos nearly every night of the week, no-strings attached. (To be fair, I have been that bimbo before.) So I’m going to stop trying, cold turkey.

Man-Free may will also give me a chance to focus on ME and what I want to do with the next five years of my life after I graduate this spring. I can focus on my friends, my family, my health (lose those last 4 lbs!), and hopefully just chill out and have drama-free fun.

So, for 31 days I am going Man-Free. Follow me as I discern whether playing hard to get really works, and a whole lot of other stuff. Or even better, join in and tell me how it’s going for you in the comments below! Let’s stop focusing on the guys and do something completely for ourselves for once.

33 Comments on "One Month Challenge: Man-Free May"

  1. marie says:
    Sat, 1st May 20106:41 pm 

    Good idea! Maybe I'll try the same, it definitely would be a good idea for my life. I wish you the best of luck!

  2. Sarah says:
    Sat, 1st May 20109:05 pm 

    I feel like I should do this too, but I'm already off to a bad start.

  3. A.C. says:
    Sat, 1st May 201010:24 pm 

    I could have written this article, I kid you now. I just did man free…well, 6 months give or take. Gotta say, it was NOT easy, but if you stick with it, it's extremely gratifying and so nice to get to know yourself beyond of boys

  4. Summer says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20105:31 am 

    I'm down- let's do this thing!

  5. Samantha - UC Santa says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20106:53 am 

    Day one was kind-of a fail, but remember, every day is a NEW day!!

  6. Ace says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20108:40 am 

    I'm so in!! I was already considering this after my most recent crash and burn breakup. I love it, let;s do it!

  7. Liz says:
    Sun, 2nd May 201010:28 am 

    I just decided to do this yesterday, I'm so glad so many other girls are into it as well!

  8. Kate says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20101:21 pm 

    I totally did this last year…it's true, you are able to focus on yourself and become a better person. I'm dating again, but I think taking time to step back from the random make-outs, the drunk texting, etc. was one of the best ideas ever. Good Luck!

  9. Jenn says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20104:04 pm 

    This is an amazing idea! I'm in.

  10. Mark says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20105:43 pm 

    I don't see what the big deal here is. If you want to go opposite-sex free for a month or usually a lot more, get married. it solves the whole hassle.

  11. Julia says:
    Sun, 2nd May 20108:10 pm 

    This is exactly want I need! I'm going to do this too.

    Stay strong haha

  12. Christina says:
    Mon, 3rd May 201012:04 pm 

    I'm going to do this too! I didn't realize how much I need to go man-free until I read this article and felt like you were telling my life story.

  13. Aly says:
    Mon, 3rd May 201012:09 pm 

    I had a horrible experience on May 1st… so I'm down for Man-Free May! Great idea! Count me in.

  14. mesa says:
    Mon, 3rd May 20108:54 pm 

    I'm totally doing this!!!! I'm going through the same thing i wabt a commuted realtionship!!!! I'm tired of friends with benefits

  15. boo says:
    Tue, 4th May 201012:29 pm 

    in the process of getting over a recent breakup, i found myself announcing to my roommates, "i'm back on the market!"

    and THEN i realized the problem: since i hit puberty seven years ago, i haven't been single for longer than a few months at a time. and now it may be time to try it :]

  16. Kourtney says:
    Tue, 4th May 20106:44 pm 

    Why match.com?

    I thought that was for sad 40 year old women?

  17. Allie says:
    Wed, 5th May 201012:46 pm 

    Thank you so much for being honest and coming out with this is a huge problem with girls. I am in the exact same boat. At this time I have come to the conclusion that it is also my time to go man free. Last month, my now ex-boyfriend threw me down a hallway, I have been choosing the wrong men left and right. I haven't been single since I was 15, my 23rd Birthday is next week. Legal action makes it easy not to drunk txt him but it was so easy to find another Mr. Wrong less than a week after. I am going to take on this challenge with you with the heart to start really loving myself. I can't wait to hear how your progress is going and I wish but you and I strong hearts.

    Thank you from the bottom of my half full heart!

  18. Samantha - UC Santa says:
    Thu, 6th May 20106:20 am 

    Allie – Hi lovebug! Stay strong, it's never too late to start over. Never! We have the rest of our lives ahead of us and we deserve to have them filled with people that deserve our love.

  19. Josh says:
    Thu, 6th May 20105:46 pm 

    Or, you could tone down the men in your life for the other eleven months of the year and achieve that wonderful balance and moderation that would leave you perpetually happy?

  20. Pippa says:
    Sat, 8th May 201011:37 am 

    Thank God I just read this article! I was about to go from Bad Ex number "1050289" to way-to-old-for-me-sleaze-ball number "1 million and 1"

    Boys, I love you, but, sometimes- you gotta love yourself more.

    Let's do this thang!

  21. Kat says:
    Sat, 8th May 201012:04 pm 

    Baha I am in love with this idea! It's simply fabulous – and gives loads of time to kick back and have fun with friends instead of trying to grab a guy's attention! I'm in.

  22. Pippa says:
    Sun, 9th May 20101:49 am 

    Shit. I'm already failing. But, tomorrow! There is always tomorrow..stay strong, ladies :)

  23. meg says:
    Tue, 18th May 20108:55 am 

    Perhaps if you weren't such a dirty slut, this wouldn't be a major undertaking?

  24. Samantha - UC Santa says:
    Tue, 18th May 20108:08 pm 

    Wow meg, you totally missed the point of the article.

  25. Garcia says:
    Thu, 20th May 20106:12 am 

    Hi Thankst For Blog its very nice

  26. GeoffreyHale says:
    Sun, 8th Aug 20108:31 pm 

    Impressively honest post. Good luck!

    Love your stuff. Keep writing!

    http://www.geoffreyhale.com/blog/

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