The 8 People You’ll Meet In the Library During Finals

May 6, 2010 2:00 pm     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa  Brittany - University of Saint Thomas g+ page


By Brittany

Finals Week has officially crept into our lives like the Grinch who stole Thirsty Thursdays.  I know I’ve spent the past three days straight camping out in the library, creating classical music radio stations on my Pandora and eating Wheat Thins and coffee for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve showered at this point, but a recent armpit sniff test proves it’s been too long. All I want is a long day at the spa, lots of dark chocolate, and a(n abnormally long) happy hour.

Although Finals Week may be a brutal task, at least it is reassuring to know everybody has to fight through it. And when I say everybody, I mean everybody. The library has become a home away from home for many college students, most of whom I could definitely do without.

The Stressed Out Stress Ball
Will someone please get this guy a cigarette? A beer? Something to make him stop pacing around my study table?! It honestly looks like he is going to self-destruct all over his unfinished pie graph. He’s ranting to all of his friends, compulsively scribbling meaningless chicken scratch all over his planner, and won’t stop talking to himself softly under his breath. And the heavy sighing? It. needs. to. stop.

The One That’s There to Socialize
Of all the places on campus you could chat with your friends and flirt with boys, you had to come to the LIBRARY? Why? Why would a room filled with books and college students (who haven’t showered) appeal to you? And what kind of conversations can you have in the library, anyway? “Oh, my God…there are so many, like, books in here.” Go “study” in your room, chatty.

The A-Hole Who Takes Up a Table For Four All For Himself
Oh, that table with four chairs is meant only for you? I don’t know why I thought there might be room for one more, especially considering these are the only 3 chairs left in the entire library. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your Biology textbook needed its own seat, or that you couldn’t move that fountain pos, Cheetos bags, pile of highlighters, and tyrannosaurus rex. I seriously hope your arm span is longer than the normal human being, because how are you ever going to reach your study guide?

The Sleeper
When someone is going to waste a perfectly good seat near an outlet for an evening snore-sesh, we just cannot be friends.

The Distraction
They’re constantly clicking that pen, coughing up phlegm, getting texts (vibrate doesn’t do sh*t when your phone is on THE TABLE, homeslice), or chowing down on that bag of Sun Chips. If only I could stop twitching in annoyance, I would probably say something. Or throw a book at their head.

The Person Over 40
Seeing someone over 40 strolling around the library is like watching a dog walk around on it’s hind legs. It just ain’t right.

The Couple
They treat their study table like a love seat. Sitting dangerously close, these gems will whisper sweet nothings, pet each other, and giggle sweetly. The only thing they’re studying is each others’ pores. Please, at least get a study room for that shiz.

The Highly Audited Group
Apparently when you put 3-5 people together in a library, they immediately think it is OK to talk louder than the person in the Burger King drive-thru. Their collective laughs sound like they are going to bring the building down atop us all.  Have they not noticed that incredibly loud whispers are ten times more annoying than just speaking?

19 Comments on "The 8 People You’ll Meet In the Library During Finals"

  1. Amanda says:
    Thu, 6th May 20109:31 am 

    bahahaha i LOVE this.

    it's oh so true!

    although i'd be lying if i said i don't fit into these categories sometimes….

    SORRY fellow library-ers!

  2. Linda says:
    Thu, 6th May 20109:54 am 

    LOL, LOVE this… gosh, so true :( .

  3. A says:
    Thu, 6th May 201011:30 am 

    hahahaha so funny!

  4. LOVE says:
    Thu, 6th May 201012:09 pm 

    lists like this are the funniest cc posts…

    "vibrate doesn’t do sh*t when your phone is on THE TABLE, homeslice"

    HIIII-LARIOUS

  5. Lizzie says:
    Thu, 6th May 20104:39 pm 

    LOVE THIS!

    So true! I gave up on studying last night/this morning because I could not take the library and the people in it another second and apparently people in my dorm like to through loud raucous parties during finals.

  6. katie says:
    Thu, 6th May 20106:58 pm 

    at least the distraction was eating Sun Chips. Their bags are biodegradable. They are saving the Earth ya know. ;)

    no but jokes aside you are so right. The the three that bug me the worse are the napper, the one at a table for four, and the any one near an outlet not using a computer.

  7. T says:
    Fri, 7th May 201010:17 am 

    I definitely agree with all of them, except The Person Over 40. I kind of feel bad for the older students, the younger ones are always looking their noses down on them. Regardless, I quit going to the library except to check books out. I can't study there with all the noise and annoying people, I don't know how anyone does it.

  8. Angie Marie says:
    Fri, 7th May 20104:51 pm 

    I know this is a day or so old, but SO TRUE. Love this!

  9. Beverly says:
    Sun, 9th May 20105:57 am 

    This is seriously the most accurate description of my school's library right now possible. The girl on my left is sighing every two seconds and shuffling through a stack of papers constantly. The guy on my right is muttering. The girls across the "quiet study space" I'm trying to work in are screaming on their cell phones. Please kill me now. On the bright side – last day of this!

  10. Brittany says:
    Thu, 11th Nov 20104:03 am 

    I'm 22, but I'm not sure why you think people over 40 "just ain't right" walking through the school library. hmm. They're really a symbol of "never giving up".

    It was funny until that one.

  11. Jessica says:
    Sat, 11th Dec 201012:06 pm 

    "Have they not noticed that incredibly loud whispers are ten times more annoying than just speaking?". I laughed the hardest at this line and the one that's there to associate. It's so ANNOYING!

    This whole list is so true! I've been hitting the library since about a month or two back; now, in finals week, it's so OVERCROWDED I'd rather study outside!

    Please note…I was studying when I came to check out this post on collegefashion…uh oh…

  12. learntobefrickinPC says:
    Sat, 11th Dec 20102:13 pm 

    Hi Brittany. I'm 19 years old, a college student, and I just want to tell you that your Over 40 category is quite offensive and distasteful for me. I get that the other people described deserve a spot on this list, because of something annoying that they do. But your comment on those over 40 is an attack on who they ARE.

    I know that this entry is supposed to be light-hearted, and this was funny until the over 40 thing. I believe it's a great and admirable thing to go to college and LEARN, no matter what age you are. Congratulations for writing something that makes you look like a bigoted AGEIST.

  13. archover says:
    Sun, 12th Dec 20103:33 pm 

    Well outside the USA i guess (in the developing world) here seeing people over 40 in the library / in college is a really common sight because we're not as rich as you guys and the people in general have to work for years before they can save up for college, and sometimes get distracted by kids and stuff until they can finally try their dream. So all the others except that one i found funny.

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