Spontaneous Sex: The Best Sex of All

Here’s a fun bit of information for all you “sex is way better when it’s with the one you love, blah, blah, blah” peeps.

Turns out, it’s not.
And, no, I’m not just saying that. I’ve got some stats to back it up!

As much as many of us would expect women to crave and adore the standard missionary position with their man in the same bed, for the same amount of time, night after a night—well, shockingly, many do not! A recent sex study found that the majority of married women would rather catch up on their reading or get extra sleep than have sex with their husbands. And an even greater majority of women (a whopping 81 percent!) complained their sex lives were way too predictable, based on location, position, time of day, duration and foreplay.


Sorry, dozed off there for a second. That sex routine is bor….wait for it….ing.
With reviews like that, it’s no wonder 62% of the women surveyed said they fantasized about having sex with somebody else.

Clearly, women in monogamous relationships are bored to death. It seems monogamy = monotony when it comes to what’s happening (or not happening) between the sheets. And maybe it’s the fact that it’s always happening between the sheets that’s the problem to begin with. Where’s the fun? The spontaneity? The excitement that comes with secretly sleeping with your TA in the stacks? Or having a little romp with that foreign exchange student on the roof of the student union.

Yes, making love is way different than having some good ol’ sex, but maybe that difference isn’t such a good thing after all.

Thoughts? Ideas to keep things spicy?

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  1. justdc says:

    :) loved reading this, thank you for sharing

  2. A.C. says:

    Wow, CC promoting promiscuity. Again. TOTAL shock. We get it guys, sex is fun, we're the masters of our own liberated bodies, but good lord, can we STOP looking down our noses at people who heaven forbid decide not to have random sex with people they don't know? I'm growing rather weary of the continuous articles telling me I should be sleeping around. I don't think my monogamy makes me better than you, can you stop acting like having lots of sex makes you better than me?

  3. Allison says:

    I appreciate the point that you're trying to make here, but you failed to mention some other statistics they found, which makes this article, or at least sentences like "Clearly, women in monogamous relationships are bored to death," misleading.

    "The study also found that 32% are extremely or very happy with their sex life and about half (45%) responded they were happy or somewhat happy. A mere 16% found that they were not at all happy with their sex lives."

    ""The iVillage study shows that not all housewives are desperate – surprisingly they are quite content and fulfilled with their predictable sex lives," said Liz Zack, Editor, iVillage Pregnancy & Parenting."

    " The study also provides good news with half of women (48%) saying that they indeed married the best sex of their life."

    I think the results of this study are pretty interesting, and I would rather read the an article discussing the full results and asking insightful questions, rather than an article which has clearly manipulated and left out statistics to make a point.

  4. Jennifer says:

    I agree with A.C. and Allison. It's one thing if you present the facts and then give your opinion but to just ignore it in the face of promoting your agenda is dishonest and bad journalism if you can call these articles that.

    And please. Have you ever been in a long term relationship? At least in my longest things didn't get boring. And since when is sex with someone who doesn't know your likes/dislikes and has no reason to focus on you so satisfying? In my limited experience with hookups I ended up unsatisfied and uncomfortable.

    The singular focus of this article makes me feel like you were trying to convince yourself rather than us of anything. But at least you show you're probably not mature enough for a serious relationship anyway.

  5. Adrian says:

    I've been in a monogamous relationship for three years now, and the sex has yet to get boring, in fact it actually gets better and better. In my experience, the more comfortable you are with a partner (in most cases, the longer you're together) the easier it is to experiment with sex. When you really trust someone, (which, if you're having sex with someone you should probably trust them) the possibilities are endless. I wouldn't have been able to do have the things I've done with my bf with some rando off the street. Just sayin.

    So sorry, not sure where your statistics came from, (and i don't really care cause they're bogus anyway) but I wish people would stop trying to say one way is better than the other, because it's different for everyone. If you're happy having empty sex, that's your business, but personally I like my sex with someone who actually knows how and wants to please me.

  6. Jennifer says:

    I think the monotony in bed is something easily fixed by communication and taking a little initiative. If you're bored, do something about it!

  7. Reems says:

    To the readers complaining: it helps to understand that the tone of CollegeCandy is that of fun-loving, carefree, and yes, maybe promiscuous college women. It doesn't claim to be Dr Phil or a respected scientific journal. Lighten up. You don't have to agree with the article to enjoy reading it. I personally don't have random sex either but I can't deny I enjoy reading about other people's sexual adventures :)

  8. andy says:

    you emphasize the problem as being with the same partner, but the source you cite clearly states that the problem is monotony, repetition, routine, etc. seems like the same partner is only one, albeit a small, factor in boring sex

  9. Rachel says:

    yea, i'm getting bored with my partner. Once it was fun and exciting but now his penis is flacid. I'm looking for stronger erection time.

  10. britt says:

    I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We live together and have sex a couple times a week. Is the sex amazing every single time we do it? No. But it's pretty much never bad, and every couple weeks or so (usually depending on my cycle), it's mind-blowingly good. I'm guessing if I didn't have a boyfriend and depended on random hookups for good sex I'd be getting it with a lot less frequency– I probably wouldn't be having sex at all, good OR bad, as much as I do now, and the chances of it being totally amazing are probably even less. I don't see anything wrong with casual sex, but I'll take my boyfriend any day, thanks.

    I think less people would be offended by this article if it simply stated the benefits of random hooking up without flat out insulting people in relationships. Because that's what most of the article was… there were like 2 sentences saying "non-monogamy is fun!" and the entire rest of the piece was making fun of partnered women.

  11. LuLu says:

    I have never had better sex than the one I have with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. He satisfies me like no one else. I am so proud to be monogamous with him and completely happy. Actually being in love with the person you have sex with helps with my orgasms and helps with the religious experience of it. I just feel so connected and in touch with him. Also contributing to the satisfying sex is the fact that we have both learned what we each like, and we try to get better, we are also very comfortable, allowing us to try new things. We might seem conservatives by being monogamous but we can get things really freaky in bed because we love and trust each other, and we are free to do as we please in bed without being awkward.

    Sex with strangers or guys you dont love does not help at all!

  12. Ellen says:

    What the hell?

    This makes it sound like people in love always have the same rubbish sex. That's not at all true!

    It is really not difficult to have a talk with your other half and discover new things to do and enjoy, it's just all about the communication.

    If i was to have sex with some random person, i wouldn't be comfortable enough to relax with them, probably drunk and it would be pretty rubbish.

    Sex with my boyfriend is better than i'd ever imagined, it comes down to thinking about it, not just having sex with different people.

    Most other people have very valid points!

  13. dale r says:

    can someone help me out

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