Type 2: Screwing

I go through phases where I listen to different podcasts on a fairly obsessive basis. It was during one of these phases that I stumbled upon a podcast called Sex, Love, and Intimacy (on which our lovely editor did an interview, the same interview that introduced me to CollegeCandy in the first place). As you guys may have noticed, I  have a lot of respect for people who do the job that I hope one day to do myself (you know, like how often I talk about Dan Savage…), and I tend to quote them a lot. Chip August, the host of Sex, Love, and Intimacy had a slogan that has stuck with me long after the podcast ended – “sex is more than just a piece of skin, a piece of skin, wiggle wiggle pop.”

Oh, how true that is.  There’s more to sex than just the act – the in and out, the build up and the orgasm. There’s more than the positions. No, I’m not going into the emotions and love and meaning behind sex. Not gonna lie, I don’t even know what to call the thing I’m talking about; style? Type? Intensity? But bear with me, I will explain:

Making Love:
As much as I hate that phrase (oh, how I despise it so), it’s really the only way to describe it. Those intimate sessions that are usually slow and loving. More about feeling everything than the climax. While love-making may not be hottest or most passionate, or even the sexiest, it is definitely the most intimate.

Screwing:
Okay, in reality I would call this type of sex f*cking, but I have a problem with censoring my words, so we’re just going to call it screwing for all intents and purposes, and you guys can follow along with what I really mean. I find this tends to be the favorite for college-aged guys. It’s the least intimate (generally, not saying having a good screw can’t be loving), and usually the most intense. You know, sweaty and loud, and being thrown all over the place. It’s usually just about getting off, but since when is that a bad thing?

The happy-medium:
When I’ve described this “3-kinds-of-sex” theory to different partners, this particular “type” is usually just labeled something along the lines of “plain old sex.” Maybe it’s vanilla, or maybe it’s just not as steamy as screwing, but this tends to be the fall-back for most couples. It’s the middle between making love and screwing, usually takes the least effort, and produces the results expected out of some good ol’ fashioned sex.

The trick to a sustainable sex life isn’t just mixing up the positions and introducing some sexy toys (though that helps too), it can be as easy as just mixing up the “style.” Sometimes the mood strikes to be um.. pounded, and sometimes the mood strikes to have fingers-intertwined and love and romance. And sometimes, it’s just sex to get the job done.

Pssst! If anyone else knows the “proper” name for this phenomenon, please let me know… it was kinda hard to write about something that doesn’t have a specific label!

The Jersey Shore kids like to fight. A lot.

Which Glee girl are you?

What does your drink of choice say about you?

Miley gave a (gay) guy a lap dance. SO WHAT?!

Would you wear cat eye sunglasses?

Larry King isn’t getting divorced (again) after all.

Much like boat shoes, chambray and shortening words, celibacy is now officially trendy. You heard me: celibacy. Trendy. Totes. Lady Gaga and Courtney Love are doing it. Or, well, not doing it, I suppose. But it’s not only them. According to a new article in the New York Post, bands of women are going celibate, claiming it makes them happy.

One woman who went celibate said it enabled her to be attracted to a “different kind of guy” (maybe one who could actually, finally remember her name and, perhaps, even had a job?!). And that’s just one of the reasons celibacy may have such an optimistic, alluring attraction for all these women.  Here are 5 reasons I can imagine those chaste women are enjoying their celibate selves: Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Dear Dude,

The other weekend I met a guy through a mutual friend at breakfast, and we hit it off. I happened to run into him later that day, and we spent a good four hours just chatting and flirting while working, and he ended up inviting me to his place to watch a movie with some friends. He had his arm around me during the movie, and once everyone else left, we started making out. He started to take things further, I went along for a while but then put a stop to it, saying I should go home, since I wasn’t comfortable going that far with a guy I just met. He said I could sleep over if I wanted or he could walk me home, and he said he wanted to get breakfast in the morning. So he walked me home, and we did get that breakfast.

The next night, we were both out at separate parties, but he texted me saying to let him know if I wanted to meet up. So later that night I texted him saying that my roommate was gone for the weekend, and to meet me outside the party I was at. He comes, I proudly announce that I’m drunk, and he just laughs and starts walking me back to my place. Again, we start hooking up, but after a little I again put a stop to it, since, again, I’d just met him the day before. He says it’s fine, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to, etc. I apologize, since by this point I’m sober enough to realize that bringing him back home was a cocktease and a half, but he insists everything’s fine. He asks if I want him to sleep over or if he should go back home, I say he can stay if he wants. He asks if I’d like that, I say yes, so for the rest of the night we just cuddle, with him occasionally kissing my forehead and such, just generally being very sweet. Read More »

Is it just me or is there another “revolutionary” new makeup product introduced every freaking day?! Just walking into Ulta or Sephora (or even Walgreens!) sends many chicas into fits of hysteria, reaching for the nearest brown bag to regulate their breathing. It’s all so overwhelming.

So how can you know which product – among the sea of thousands – is the best? Which does what you need it to do? Which ones are worth the extra money?

Let me help. I don’t know every beauty product out there, but I’ve tested a lot of them and I’ll let you know which are worth the money and which are not.

(Disclaimer: This product was purchased by me for review purposes. Because I can never have too much makeup!)

What it is: Benefit Hoola Bronzer

Why this should be in your bag: Because everyone looks better with bronzer, unless you’re rocking the Dita-Von-Teese “I’m so pale it hurts my eyes” thing. Not that I’m knocking the pale faces – I’m a fair-skinned lady myself. I just think I look dead without bronzer. As for why this specific bronzer, Benefit Hoola is SUPER-pigmented (check out the swatch comparison to Rimmel Natural Bronzer). This means that a little is going to go a long, long way. Plus, it’s matte, which is shockingly rare amongst bronzers, but means that you can wear it daytime or nighttime and not look too done up or like a twelve-year old glitter addict. Read More »

Over the past few months, I’ve written a lot about how nervous I am to graduate, to leave college for good, and enter the real world. I’ve felt scared, nervous, anxious, and every other emotion that comes naturally to a graduating senior.

I’ve stressed about my lack of job, the economy, and how the heck I am going to figure out things like insurance, paying bills, and not drinking on Sunday nights. But despite all my reservations about leaving the wonderful world of college behind, I’m also really, really, fantastically excited to graduate.

Like many of you, I’ve had the best time over the past four years. I literally cannot imagine my life any differently. When I was a senior in high school, leaving my comfort zone for a college over 2,000 miles across the country was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. But it was also the best decision I’ve ever made. I knew no one and had no friends. But four years later, I’ve found a network of teachers, mentors, and peers that have helped me grow into the person I want to be. Who knows what my life would be like without the people I’ve met or the experiences I’ve had here in college? Read More »

Finally, after weeks of late nights, early mornings, and far too many Doritos, I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Sure, I’ve got to get through a few more exams, sell my books, pack up my life and make the big trek home, but at least I know the end (and a margarita on the front lawn) is near. And that feels good.

You know what else feels good? Well, besides these delicious t-shirt sheets on an unseasonably cold May morning…. Taking a break from my textbooks and flashcards and thinking about something that won’t be written in a Blue Book in the near future.

So let us get to this week’s Would You Rather….. Think, vote, share. Then return to your regularly scheduled cram sesh. Read More »

So apparently trashing your ex after a breakup is in. And no, not just for the pure fun of it (because believe me, it’s one of my many joys in life). But there’s actually scientific proof that shows it might just be necessary in order to move on.

A new study by the University of Utah backs this extraordinary phenomenon that hating your ex after a breakup makes you feel better. The study involved 65 undergrads who recently ended relationships that lasted more than four months (which, in college, is more like a century). Researchers found that people who seemed to have strong negative feelings about their ex immediately after the breakup were less likely to be depressed.

I know so many girls (and guys) who think holding onto the relationship after the breakup is best—even if that means changing your relationship status on Facebook and instead accepting the new label as “friends” who go out for casual lunches or whatever it is you do—but this just proves you’re all nuts wrong. Victory!

No, but seriously, if you’ve just gone through a rough breakup maybe you should put down those four boxes of Krispy Kremes you’re about to consume, stop taking it out on yourself, and start taking it out on him! It might just be good for you.

Who or what inspires your style? Many of us use celebrities (like Willa Holland) or TV characters (like Clarissa Explains It All) as style inspiration, even though, most of the time, they are being dressed from head to toe by the best stylists. Which we don’t have. And sometimes it’s damn near impossible to work their Hollywood looks into our not-so-Hollywood lives. I’ve made it my mission to tap into the mind of a fashion stylist and show you how to take your style inspiration – whatever it may be – and make it more you!

I saw Scarface once.  Yes, one time and I was barely paying attention.  Typically movies about Cuban drug lords and mafia crime in Miami don’t exactly thrill a Midwestern girl like me.  It’s a little difficult to relate to Tony Montana’s lifestyle choices, but Elvria, on the other hand, well that’s a whole other story.

Before everything went to total sh*t, Tony and Elvira lived the South Beach fantasy of money and power. Money was no object, so whatever Elvira wanted she got. And what she wanted was clothes. Gorgeous, expensive clothes. (I think that’s something we can all understand, no?) So yeah, maybe she snorted more nose-candy than an elementary schooler’s filled pillow case on Halloween, and perhaps she was involved in more murders than I’d normally support, but her style was impeccable and I just couldn’t look away.

I love Elvira’s style because it’s always glamorous and sexy, no matter the occasion. (And I’m definitely not the only one who idolizes it; Gucci even based the Spring/Summer 2006 ad campaign on the Scarface look!) You and I probably feel our most comfortable in sweatpants, or go out in jeans and “the cute top” combo. Not Elvira, who sleeps in slinky silk and whose “hangin’ around the house clothes” are something we’d probably wear to prom. She just always finds an excuse to dress up and make heads turn, and that’s both sexy and inspiring. Read More »

Another bad BF for Anne Hathaway.

A little financial advice for new grads.

Lindsay Phillips is a fashion genius.

E*Trade shows Lindsay Lohan who’s boss.

Lady Gaga will tour forever and ever….

Ole Miss hops on the flash mob bandwagon.