Does that look like a man who would kill you? Why, yes, yes it does.

Um. Wow. I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and I have no idea what the eff just happened on The Hills. And I watched it twice. All I know is I am enraged, so I’m gonna do like Heidi says (which is actually the only thing robot Heidi says) and take a breath.

Anyone got some giant rocks I can hang around my neck/rub on my face?

What the eff happened to Spencer Pratt? Yes, the kid was a huge assface for the first 5 seasons of The Hills, but homeboy has gone absolutely nuts. I wonder if there’s some connection between the length of his hair and his hormone levels? It seems the bigger his fro the more he screams. To be honest, I’m not really sure why everyone is so worried about terrorism in this country when this guy is roaming free.

I swear, I watched Enzo’s birthday party with a blanket up to my face, afraid that Spencer would crack at any moment, kill that poor little lamb he had coaxed onto his lap and shove his cute little head into Holly Montag’s bed. Either that, or he’d somehow convince that elephant (?!) to eat Enzo.

I won’t even get into the fact that Heidi and Spencer threw a birthday party for a bunch of 7-year-olds, or how appropriate a circus theme was for the two biggest circus freaks on the planet. Nor will I discuss how Brody and the boys actually went (“I barely know Enzo.”) or how it was the most fun Spencer’s had in a long time. I merely want to talk about how Spencer sat there and had a Britney Spears meltdown and Heidi just sat next to him and let it happen.

“Take a breath” she says. Because inhaling a little oxygen is going to somehow fix this douchebag and get him to stop verbally raping (his words, not mine) her mom and sister on national television. Read More »

There are over 100 million sites on the Internet. 100 million! You might think you know about all the important ones (CollegeCandy, Gmail, Google, TFLN…), but there are thousands of other sweet sites out there (like Life is Beautiful, Go Try It On, and Soshiku) and more showing up every day! We get it – it’s not easy or fun sifting through the crap and porn to find those gems, so we’re gonna bring the gems to you. Just sit back, kick up those feet and allow us to introduce you to the diamonds in the internet rough.]

When I’ve got a problem that can’t be solved, the only way I know how to feel better is to eat things dipped in frosting vent to someone else and hope they’ll give me good advice.  Usually, the people I go to are those closest to me: my boyfriend, my BFFs, or my mom—but what to do when I can’t go to any of them about a particular crisis (because it concerns them or it’s something I just don’t want to share)?

I recently discovered a little site called Blah Therapy that solves the problem of not having someone around when I need someone to vent to. Basically, Blah Therapy is a chatroom site whose purpose is to bring complete strangers together to help each other with their problems by pairing those needing help with those willing to help. Read More »

Oh no. Now Tyra is going to write?!

Wow! Sex is getting dangerous.

Playboy is going 3D?!

Aaaaand things have gotten even worse for Lilo.

More nominations for T. Swift. Shocking.

This pic makes our hearts melt.

"I want to share all my feelings now."

A constant complaint we girls have is that men “don’t talk,” that they “never tell us how they really feel,” and anyone who’s ever interacted with a dude knows its pretty unusual to see one cry. And sometimes that gets frustrating and we just want our guy to share his emotions. We don’t want to date a robot; we want a guy with feelings. We know they’re in there somewhere and we just need a little somethin’ somethin’ to bring ‘em out.

Well, now there is that something. And it’s not a viewing of “Field of Dreams.” Scientists have been working furiously and finally come up with a solution to this very real problem:

Introducing Cuddle Spray a hormone-laced nasal spray developed by Universities of Oxford and Bonn.

I won’t bore you by telling you how it uses neuropeptide oxycotin, and how half of the forty-eight men they tested it on expressed their feelings more. And I won’t touch the subject of how the male participants had increased emotional empathy, either. You can read more about that later.

What I will talk about, however, is the commercial havoc that is going to result from this product. It will be like the Tickle-Me-Elmo craze of 1996 only worse, because instead of crazy moms trying to please their kids, this time it’s going to be crazy girls trying to please themselves. After years of probing their guys for some feelings, women can just spray this stuff and suddenly find the poetic, romantic dream boat hidden inside? I can’t even imagine how many women are going to start buying this for their mate, but I know they do, they need to be prepared in full protective gear. And they should probably leave the earrings at home. Read More »

Since the first Kentucky Derby and my long time-span between showers, hats have really become this girl’s best friend. They block out the naughty rays of sun on a summer day, and make everyone look cute and trendy while doing so.  To top it off (pun intended) the spring-summer hat styles are making me melt in my desk chair. They. Are. To. Die. For.

I can see it now…strolling from my local coffee shop, latte in hand, fedora on head, bliss in fashion/local barista form. Bliss, eh? Whether or not you are prancing to your last final (with greasy hair) on a windy day or rolling out your beach mat for the first day on the beach front lawn – fall head over heels with this super cute summer hats, for cheap! Read More »

Just so you know, users gave Ms. Kansas 2.6 stars out of 5.

After being pretty much ignored forever years, the Miss USA pageant is making headlines once again. Last year it was Carrie Prejean with her homophobic comments, nudey photos and fake boobs; this time it’s all 51 ladies. In racy photos. On the pageant’s official website?

The pics show the contestants in garter belts, fishnet stockings, and unbuttoned shirts. (Editor’s Note: Eerily similar to Rielle Hunter’s recent photo shoot, no?) And people (who actually care about/follow this pageant) are up in arms, arguing that the contestants are women who are supposed to be seen as role models admired for their talent, intelligence, and, yes, beauty, but not cleavage.

The organization, however, defends them as their way of keeping up with the “changing times.” I bet Alanis Morrisette’s 1995 self and anyone with an understanding of “irony” would have a bit of an issue with this, as previous Miss USA contestants (Carrie Prejean, for one obvious example) have been reprimanded for similar provocative photos the pageant now seems to be promoting. Read More »

Time flies when you're eating ramen and working 9-6.

A year ago I was packing up my college apartment, saving my most memorable theme party costumes (sexy dining hall worker didn’t go over as well as I thought it would), and crying in the most unattractive wipe-your-snot-on-your-sleeve fashion. As far as I knew it my life was completely over. I was jobless, destitute, and way too close to sober.

The only thing I had to look forward to was forcing my family to sit through Powerpoint presentations I made titled, “The top ten nights I should have died from alcohol poisoning,” “Nine reasons showing up to class drunk is only fun in the movies,” and “Any sibling that doesn’t get me a graduation gift shouldn’t act surprised when I ruin their wedding 10 years down the road.” I truly believed there was no reason to keep on living. And that was only reinforced when I was forced to sit next to a morbidly obese woman who took up half my seat on the plane ride home from Syracuse.

But yet I’m still here and alive an entire year later. And turns out, despite my best efforts to get a homeless man to push me in front of a bus last summer, life does go on after you graduate. Read More »

Question?! Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Annnnnd go.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about six months now. When we first got together it was because of a drunken hook-up and I wasn’t really into him. He pursued me for a couple of months until I decided to give in and give the relationship thing a try with him. He is the first guy I’ve ever been in a relationship with, and I’m the first girl he’s ever had a serious relationship with, and after a while we developed deep feelings for each other. Told each other we loved one another and all of that. Things were going great until we got into a big fight over him being inconsiderate, he made me wait for three hours at a place that I was supposed to pick him up at but turns out he was already home sleeping the whole time. Instead of just getting the argument out of our systems, all I wanted was for him to apologize for not calling me to let me know, he went back to sleep mad and I went home mad. The next day he called and broke up with me because he just doesn’t feel he belongs in relationships. When I went over to his house to talk about it with him we ended up getting back together, the breakup lasted a whole 8 hours. He told me it was because he’d never been in a serious relationship before and the whole idea freaked him out but that he realized he truly does love me and wants to be with me.

Well, ever since then I’ve been scared to death that he’s going to break up with me again. I’m paranoid of his ex-girlfriend, whom he still speaks to occasionally, and his friends that are girls who I know he’s had feelings for in the past. We’re two really different people and I’m afraid he’ll realize that maybe he’d be happier with someone more like him. I was a virgin when we got together, he was not, so I’m obviously not as sexually experienced as him or the other girls he’s slept with, so I’m also afraid of not keeping him sexually satisfied. Though we do have sex at least once a day, I’m not scared he’s lost interest, just that maybe his exes are better, they’re into the same things as him, and that he’d go elsewhere for that satisfaction.

I told him how I was scared of losing him and that I felt like at any second he would just change his mind again. He just rolled his eyes and told me if he didn’t want to be with me, he wouldn’t be with me. He told me he loves me but sometimes when I say it to him he’ll say “I like you, too.” He says that it’s because he doesn’t think it should be said too much, that the word freaks him out and that I know he loves me so it shouldn’t bother me. He always wants me to give him reasons why I love him and I tell him. However whenever I ask him he replies with “I don’t know how to explain it. I just do.” I just need a little reassurance from him but I’m not sure how to talk to him about it because I don’t want to appear needy and psycho. What should I do?

– Paranoid girlfriend Read More »

We’ve seen our share of interesting reality show topics over the years (to say the least) but this time, TV producers may have finally taken it too far. Directors are looking to create the first “Ivy League Reality Show,” at PRINCETON of all places! They have already started casting and will seek approval from the university for the show soon.

Is it just me or does this sound like an absolutely terrible idea in the making?

One freshman Princeton student commented that, “The show is a wonderful idea, because I’ve found that a lot of outsiders think [Princeton students] are something we’re not.”

Now what is it these outsiders think you are? Intelligent? Studious? Fortunate?—And what would you like them to believe after watching the show? That Princeton students can underage binge drink just as hard as the public university next door? Or that they can have just as much emotionally-detached, unprotected sex? Read More »

Glamour’s June “beauty” issue is chock full of ish that is awesome (hello, glitter, sexy sandals, and neon color orgy!),  bad (really, three models on the cover and they all pretty much look the same?), and ugly (jelly sandals definitely do not need to make a comeback. Was I the only one whose feet were always totally wrecked after wearing them?). Seriously, it’s amazing they could fit it all into those 275 pages!

Upon glancing at the cover, I immediately thought I would be eviscerating the “How To Find Love in Hook-Up Culture” article, because the whole notion of “hook up culture” is so exaggerated. People have been hooking up with no strings attached since the beginning of time (I’m sure the guy who invented fire totally got some booty that night), the only difference is now everyone Tweets or makes a coy Facebook status about it. However, their advice to communicate open and honestly with your partner (and yourself!) about your romantic intentions is really legit (although it does include a terrible anecdote involving a MASS BOOTY CALL TEXT. Seriously? Seriously.) Yeah, so I couldn’t really find much to tear apart.

But then I turned the page and found this gem: “Weird Things That Turn Guys On” that did include weird tidbits… if “weird” has somehow evolved to mean normal, mundane, or obvious. Read More »