5 Things That Should Be Outlawed from Dorms

June 8, 2010 12:00 pm     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa  Mel - Miami University (OH) g+ page


By Mel

Can you imagine hearing the incessant whimpering of a dog while trying to study in your dorm room? Well, it might not be too unrealistic of a nightmare/dream (depending on your take). An increasing amount of colleges are now permitting dogs in dorm rooms. Although they’re incredibly cute, how gross?! Like we really need something else to have to clean up or worry about. Aren’t moldy Ramen noodles and midterms enough? Not to mention the smell. We already have to deal with the smell of mildew wafting over from the guys’ floor, do we really need to throw in some wet dog too?

There’s a reason dogs aren’t allowed in dorms, so let’s just keep it that way, K? And while we’re at it, perhaps we should ban a few other things as well:

1. Microwave popcorn
Because no one seems to know how to make it without burning it.

2. Hair (in general)
OK, so I don’t think everyone should have to pull a Britney before unpacking in their 10X10 cells, but hair is gross. And somehow my shower flip-flops, carpet, and backpack are always covered in clumps of it….most of which does not belong to me.

3. Guitars
This past year, I was fortunate to have lived in the unofficial “artsy” dorm. If there wasn’t someone prancing down the hall in ballet slippers, there was a jam session taking place two doors down from me. Why exactly is this permitted? I’m all for musicians (of the male persuasion), but if I have to hear one more person messing up a Dave Matthews song….

4. Perfume/Cologne
Specifically Axe. How is it that no one knows how to use this responsibly? Sorry dude, but dousing yourself is cologne does not equal a shower.

5. Adults
Who doesn’t love when the parental units come to visit (and bring care packages)? Except when you think about all the empties you gotta throw away, the laundry you gotta do, and the clumps of hair you gotta vacuum up off that rug. Where is the vacuum in the dorm, anyway?

19 Comments on "5 Things That Should Be Outlawed from Dorms"

  1. criolle johnny says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 20108:31 am 

    If your cologne/perfume walks into the room before you do … you're using a bit much.

    If I smell it when I put my arms around you, it's about right.

    In the same catagory, incense no … candles yes. Then the Fire Marshall has fits. To many fools in a dorm.

  2. Mintii says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 201010:11 am 

    Why are people always so grossed out about hair. It always seems to be over the top and hyped up.

  3. Cat says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 201010:50 am 

    Oh my gosh agree about the microwave popcorn. This past year one of the girls 3 doors down from me would constantly get popcorn cravings, and the burnt smell would permeate the whole hall. I swear that the majority of my Febreze went towards trying to eliminate that horrible smell.

  4. L says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 201011:50 am 

    You're all for musicians, but only of the male persuasion? This comment makes you seem like you don't actually care about the music, but rather the image of the guy musician, and in turn, ditzy.

  5. Allison says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 201012:50 pm 

    I wish I could have had a dog in my dorm! If all the roommates are okay with it and it is taken care of responsibly, I don't think it would be gross.

  6. Linda says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 20101:20 pm 

    I'm guessing this was supposed to be funny, as these lists usually are…but this one .. just came off really.. ditsy.

  7. Danielle says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 20103:22 pm 

    I completely agree about guitars. Especially since I had to live next to guys that played basically all day and all night. And a lot of the time they somehow thought it was alright to use amps. I mean is that really necessary?

  8. Jessica says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 20106:05 pm 

    The worst thing you could add on to your dorm is a dog, which no dorm that I know of is big enough to house one comfortably any way.

    p.s. I think your hilarious, original, and sarcastic. Any one who confuses your sarcasm for ditziness needs to relearn what the meaning of humor is.

  9. Rachael- University says:
    Tue, 8th Jun 20108:57 pm 

    So much worse than all of these: a subwoofer. After three years in the dorms with one of these ALWAYS going in a neighbouring room (especially at 4 am and during finals), I may kill the next person who thinks this belongs in a dorm room. I'd so rather the other five on this list over having to deal with that. . . .

  10. nikki says:
    Wed, 9th Jun 20107:09 pm 

    totally disagree on the dog rule.. so long as it's in a separated dog friendly area of the dorm.. I'm all for pets.. not only do studies show that animals are good for our health but RESPONSIBILITY is a good thing!!!! If you have a dog chances are you're actually going to be IN your dorm room studying and being productive as opposed to at a party all night because you can't just leave the dog…. I'm not seeing the downside?

  11. Madison says:
    Tue, 15th Jun 20109:35 am 

    OMG I totally agree with the popcorn…we had to evacuate our dorm countless times because some idiot set off the fire alarm with popcorn.

    I also agree with Rachael–this one kid had a sound system SO LOUD that I could seriously hear it walking up to the dorm!

  12. Brooklynn says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20104:27 pm 

    I had the hair problem in my dorm, when you have a massive amount of girls (with really long, fried hair) who like to get ready to party at eleven at night the smell of cheap and disgusting hairspray and burnt hair (occasionally flesh when you accidentally burn your ear or neck) would waft through the hallways enough to gag someone.

    We kept a welcome mat beside our door during the winter because in South Dakota it snowed god awful amounts of white, and they used a lot of salt and sand to keep your feet grounded to the sidewalks. And that mat was just covered in hairballs (I have a short pixie cut, so it was NOT my hair.)

    I can deal with my hair shedding, but anyone else's made me about gag, especially when it clogs the drains in the shower. I though I was the only one who though it bothered me haha.

  13. cat says:
    Sat, 3rd Jul 20106:36 pm 

    ive never lived in the dorms but i have visited friends there a few years back. ill shed a bit of light on the popcorn burning mystery. the smell of microwave popcorn usually covers up the smell of weed. the people down the hall from my friend always made a bag when they smoked in the dorms. chances are itd burn because theyd forget about it.

  14. Lacey says:
    Mon, 5th Jul 20104:27 pm 

    Having a dog in a dorm really doesnt sound like a good idea. If youre in college full time and living on campus, thats enough responsibility. You dont need to add an innocent animal to the mix that will be neglected and never taken care of.

  15. Ray says:
    Fri, 6th Aug 20101:20 pm 

    When I was in college I could barely able to afford to buy food for me let alone an animal.

  16. Jane says:
    Wed, 25th May 201112:11 pm 

    Great post, seriously stinky foods in general as well.

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