‘Party Down South’ Sounds Like an Awesomely Terrible Idea

‚ By 

The casting call reads, “Holler if you’re blue collar!”

In a move that could only come from the minds behind Jersey Shore, TMZ is reporting that a new series featuring the best in beer bellies, jorts, and John Deere hats will be coming to a television near you.  You’ve heard me right; Party Down South (they need to work on that title) is looking for twelve lucky rednecks to wave the rebel flag and disgrace the South in all ways possible.

Jersey Shore brought us new, orange-tinted reality stars that left us asking why they were suddenly famous (not to mention the advent of poofs, fist pumps, hair gel, spray tans, and senseless nicknames).  Am I alone in wondering what this new crop of southern imports will bring to prime time television?  Excuse me while I allow my mind to drift to all the horrors about to beset “normal” society…

1.  Just how many racist jokes can one audience handle before these new stars’ trailer homes get torched? I know it’s going to happen, you know it’s going to happen.  Someone will bring a white hood and suddenly the guy who punched Snooki looks like a saint.  It’s a sad, pathetic fact, but if it’s rednecks these casting people want, it’s rednecks they’ll get.

2.  Tractors, power tools, and So-Co. No, I’m not talking about Ty Pennington’s next season of Extreme Home Makeover.  I’m referring to all the fun this cast is going to have shacking up in the Deep South.  How long before someone loses an appendage while cow tipping or riding a 4-wheeler?

3.  Clean up on aisle ten, we’ve got a kegerator down. You know these shows always have set their participants up with jobs to add a little drama to the house.  Well, where do you find employment for a group of hayseeds?  Wal-Mart?  Home Depot?  God help anyone walking near the chainsaw display while Billy Bob’s on duty.

4.  Jersey Shore vs. Party Down South: The Uncivil War
Wait, no one else is feeling that spin off?  It’ll be just like the Real World/Road Rules Challenges.  Just think about it- races to see how quickly you can spray-tan your illegitimate children, fried chicken vs. chicken parm cook-offs, bedazzle your cow contests.  Maybe Party Down South isn’t such a bad idea after all…

Comments