Duke It Out: Porn

June 18, 2010 9:00 am     Posted in Reality, Sex  Lauren H - The New School g+ page


By Lauren H

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like the internships! ) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Having gone to a liberal arts college in NYC, it really wasn’t any big surprise to me that a) there were exactly four straight males in my entire school b) there were a lot of “angry feminist” types hanging around in any class even vaguely related to gender or romance. As such, I got to sit through a lot of empowering vs degrading arguments about everything from Voltaire to Batman, and you wanna know what topic comes up the most often? Porn. Yep, the battle has raged, well basically since cavemen first figured out how to draw boobs on their walls and this week, for no apparent reason, the issue came up in congress. Seems like it’s about time we put our vote in on this one, ladies!

I can get why some people think porn is degrading toward women – the vast majority of it is about girls looking hot and getting screwed six ways to Sunday (does anyone know what that expression actually means??). Many of the women in porn fit certain idealized body types and they tend to be depicted generically as the “hot chick” without any real brain or personality to speak of. The purpose of the girl in the porn is to have sex, lots of sex – because apparently, women are supposed to be up for it all the time – and make it look hot. Do we really need something around that sends the message that women (at least the totally hot chicks you want to have sex with) are objects for sexual gratification first with all of that brain and personality stuff just thrown in on the side?

But on the other hand, porn can be really empowering for women. Much of it depicts women who want sex and choose to have sex when they want it – and what’s not empowering about being in charge of one’s own sexuality? On top of that the porn industry is one of the few on the planet where women make significantly more in salary than their male counterparts and the actresses essentially get to say what goes and what doesn’t, so none of them really end up doing things they don’t want to do. Kudos, porn industry! And as a final note, pretty much every straight guy I’ve ever known has watched porn (the gay ones too, actually, but that’s beside the point) and most of them have still managed to be decent human beings who don’t automatically assume they can hump any woman who walks by, so we may not be giving the guys enough credit on how much they think this stuff reflects reality.

Do you think that porn is really setting us back as a gender? Is this whole thing a ridiculous, puritanical hold-over? Is this even something we should still be arguing about in this day and age? (I mean, can’t we all just watch some porn?)

Duke it out!

28 Comments on "Duke It Out: Porn"

  1. M says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20104:41 am 

    Why does it have to be either-or, like either porn is BAD, or porn is GOOD? Every piece of porn is different. Some show men dominating women and even spanking or slapping them and calling them nasty names. Others show a man and a woman (or two men, or two women, or any number of individuals) engaging in mutually respectful sex that each person clearly enjoys. Guess which one I'm more than happy to see more of.

    Porn has an incredible potential to affect culture and the opinions of individuals. Men who see lots of porn in which women are treated badly might think that everyone treats women like that, so it's ok. But people who watch porn in which individuals are truly empowered might see a way to have sex in a way that's respectful, consensual, and fun for everyone involved.

  2. brooksider says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20106:17 am 

    M's comment is completely dead on.

    It's unfair to write all porn off by saying it is degrading, idealistic and vapid. It truly depends on where you're looking and what your preference is.

    There is a lot of porn out there that pictures women (and men) in an empowering way that respects what sex is – a great, mutually enjoyable experience between two (or more, sometimes) people. That said, there's also a lot of porn out there that I don't personally enjoy due to the levels of violence and the way that the parties involved are portrayed.

    At the end of the day, porn is a part of the multi-million dollar sex industry worldwide. So, like other industries, videographers and companies make what people will pay for and watch. That means, somewhere out there, there's a guy or a girl who likes the slapping, hair-pulling, facial variety and is willing to watch it. The existence of other varieties of porn mean there are men and women who enjoy a more empowering, respectful mutually gratifying depiction of sex as well. Like sex itself, people are all over the spectrum when it comes to porn.

    But just because I might not like to watch one type of porn, doesn't mean it shouldn't be available for them to enjoy…

    (Note: I am not condoning child porn, bestiality or anything illegal. Just speaking up for choice on this one.)

  3. Sam says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20106:18 am 

    I pretty much agree with M, except I don't think porn influences you that much. I think you already have those intentions or feelings and then seek out porn that portrays the fantasy in your head.

  4. Tricia says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20109:07 am 

    I think there is something wrong with a lot of porn, but at the same time I am of the opinion that as long as everything is consensual and legal, we should live and let live.

    My main issue with porn is the way it affects our views of sex. By making porn seem like something that is only bought at shady stores by creepy old men we criminalize both porn and sex. Basically, if we had healthier images about what porn is and admitted that the average person watches, we would be more honest about sex and be able to see it as the good thing that it actually is.

    http://studentswhostillhavesouls.blogspot.com/

  5. Alison says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 201010:32 am 

    The only thing I find degrading about porn is the fact that almost all of the women are always really skinny and the fact that they all have really huge boobs. It gives men unrealistic expectations for what the female body should look like when in reality, those kinds of bodies are really fake.

    Other than that, it's just sex. Guys have to masturbate to SOMETHING.

  6. hannah says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20104:45 pm 

    @Alison- I would say porn gives women pretty unrealistic views as well (assuming people believe everything they see in porn). Have you SEEN the dicks on these guys? lol Girls aren't the only ones being unrealistically displayed. It's the same for guys and girls… you either have to have amazing attributes, or some amazing skills. Unless you are talking about free porn, low rate porn… in that case, they all just look like regular people.

    And, to play the devil's advocate here… why is it ok for women to make more money doing the same job as a man, but it isn't ok for a man to make more money doing the same job as a woman? Isn't that kind of sexist, reverse sexist?

  7. criolle johnny says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20106:36 pm 

    PORN makes women look brainless? Have you heard some of the mainstream actresses (AND actors) talk offstage lately?

    Beautiful bodies, and they even keep their heads from floating.

  8. Guy says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20109:55 pm 

    like hannah said, the expectations are two way street, most guys are super ripped with six packs etc. and with the biggest dicks ever, how is that supposed to make us normal guys feel

  9. L says:
    Sat, 19th Jun 20104:48 am 

    Aside from body image and the like, porn can give many people false expectations of what sex is like in the real world. For instance, it takes most women longer than 2 minutes of sex to have an orgasm, simultaneous orgasms are not that common, and most women need some foreplay before penetration.

  10. Luke says:
    Sat, 19th Jun 20107:45 am 

    In response to Hannah's reverse sexist comment, I don't think the point is that it's ok for women to make more money than men for the same work, I think the point is that in the vast majority of professions men make more money than women for the same work, and as a result a profession that tips the scale in the opposite direction is per se contributing to the overall good, at least as fair as economic inequality goes anyways.

    For my part I agree that it's some porn is better than others in terms of the depictions. That said, the exploitation is also a pretty big concern. True the actresses generally get paid more than the actors, that said, the producers, directors and owners are mostly men. very few of these women have the power to decide what they want to do on screen, and even fewer own the rights to the material they create. Fact is that the vast majority of women who enter the porn industry A) don't last very long (i.e. they get used a lot while they're fresh meat and then the next "it-girl" comes along), and B) Have to augment their incomes (as well as their breasts) by working the stripper circuit.

    I say all that to say this, as far as porn goes it the off-screen effects that concern me, rather than the on-screen depictions. I'm a guy (26) who watched a LOT of porn for a many years, and while I don't think that porn affects all people in the same way. I think that it has the potential to negatively affect a guy's ability to commit to his interpersonal relationships. Clearly this doesn't happen in all, or even the majority of cases, I'm really just speaking from personal experience, but people who have actually researched this have arrived at similar conclusions. That said, I think porn consumption (in moderation like anything else) can be totally healthy and fun whether you're on your own or with a partner, and I really can't knock anyone who does. For a more comprehensive, though somewhat one sided view on this issue, it's worth checking out a documentary called "The Price of Pleasure"…you can probably find it on Netflix

  11. Matthew says:
    Sat, 19th Jun 20107:05 pm 

    There's a porn variety for everyone. Porn can give ideas or just give a visual aids for one's already formed fantasies. Women dominate the industry. It provides a release for a lot of lonely men, allowing them an outlet to explore their sexuality in private, comfortable, and safe ways. It's also had benefits for couples looking to explore their fantasies with each other. Porn has been around since the beginning, as a concept, it's a form of celebrating sexuality, all forms and preferences of beauty, and arousing one's libido. There's a downside to every industry and a risk factor to all practices in all fields. But overall, porn does a lot more good than harm, and no, most men don't believe what they see in porn is a realistic portrayal of sex…they just wish it was…

  12. alex says:
    Mon, 21st Jun 20107:14 pm 

    I watch it. What's the big deal? It's just a form of stimulation, a means to an end. Sure, if you're beating it 3 times a day, and have never actually had sex with a woman, you may have high expectations and you may be let down to know that real girls don't look like that. but that's your own fault–anyone knows that stuff in the media is portrayed in a very exaggerated way anyway

  13. DA says:
    Tue, 22nd Jun 201011:39 am 

    I think the issue is not who's getting paid what, and not even false expectations that porn might bring about. The real problem with porn is that generally, it objectifies women. From what I know about porn, it depicts women as lacking authority, desires or preferences. In other words, women appear powerless and submissive. This in turn is likely to influence the way men treat women in general. (I am NOT blaming porn for the larger issue of inequality in society, don't get me wrong! What I'm saying is that porn can definitely contribute to it.)

  14. Mel says:
    Thu, 24th Jun 20109:24 am 

    "the vast majority of it is about girls looking hot and getting screwed six ways to Sunday (does anyone know what that expression actually means??)"

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like it means getting screwed in a different way every day until Sunday. O_o I've never actually heard the expression before, so I don't know.

  15. Lucy says:
    Fri, 25th Jun 20107:49 am 

    The problem with mainstream pornography is that it depicts violence against women. It portrays an ideal of male domination over female subordination. As a sociology major, a recent class of mine spent a couple of weeks on porn and came to the realization that it wouldn't be so problematic if the sex was equal. A lot of it has to do with men seeking revenge on the female body and just dominating her into oblivion.

    There is of course other porn that portrays more equal roles, but the popular stuff, the stuff that guys take to be the norm- is objectifying.

  16. Katy says:
    Sun, 27th Jun 20104:00 pm 

    I'm a 19 year old girl and I watch porn pretty often by myself and with my boyfriend. I know he watches it by himself too. We have great sex together because I think our openness about porn has allowed us to share our fantasies and not be afraid of what the other person thinks. And it helps us draw lines too. Like what each other is and is not willing or interested in trying. It's a good communication tool.

  17. Meg says:
    Tue, 6th Jul 20107:40 pm 

    I should start off by saying that I work in the sex industry (not in porn, but in a strip club) so I have a lot of exposure to girls that have made/do make porn.

    And I can honestly say that (except for a few) these girls are fine. They do it for the money, and that's cool with them. As long as you know what you're doing, and you know that yes, in a way, you are exploiting yourself, you'll probably be okay. It's the girls that go into it for other reasons that have problems.

  18. Dr Prosciutto says:
    Tue, 3rd Aug 201010:32 am 

    While it is important to be sophisticated and polite in the day to day world; in sex, people are turned on by an amazing variety of things that are not PC or polite. That is what makes exploring sexuality so much fun. It is a parrallel universe where you may enjoy things – spanking, role play, dirty talk, etc – that have nothing to do with your moral character. This point is sadly often confounded, causing people unnecessary grief.

    Porn simply refelects what different people like. It would be best if we embraced adult, consensual sexuality without judgment instead of trying to make it fit the labels of the day to day world.

  19. kow626 says:
    Sat, 7th Aug 201012:56 pm 

    let's face it. pu$$y is a commodity. if these girls wanna allow themselves to be dehumanized and degraded, that's their personal choice. no one is forcing any of them to do what they're doing. what we see in porn is just a reflection of what's already been going on in society since the beginning of time. the only difference is now people can be more open about it cuz they can profit from it, mostly thanks to the internet. i ain't hatin'.

    just like anything else though, there are consequences. women will have a much harder time after a career in porn than men ever will cuz for the most part, it ain't the men being dehumanized and degraded. they're the ones dishing out the punishment. and let's face it, if those women are allowing the men to treat them that way, paid or not, you gotta wonder what type of woman that is. what happened in her life to send her down that path? if i was a chick, i'd know what's between my legs is powerful but i'd also have a little self-respect and not allow 20 guys to spit, pi$$, and cvm all over me for the sake of entertainment knowing that once that shoot is over, what i just did will be available for anyone anywhere to watch at anytime and i gotta live with that.

    porn has its place. it also helps tremendously. it allows everyone to see a particular segment of society. these days, you just never know what someone is into so you gotta be more careful who you hook up with. and it helps that people can watch others carry out their fantasies rather than the viewer out there committing those acts. porn as crime prevention. yep, i said it and i believe in it, too.

  20. Kelsey says:
    Wed, 15th Sep 20106:02 am 

    I think men who watch porn often have the impression that women enjoy being submissive and dehumanized. They expect any girl to be perfectly OK with, and even enjoy, getting cum on their face and body. They begin to only enjoy hardcore dirty sex, and get a better orgasm if the girl is left with red eyes from semen on their face. They think women like the taste of cum. If the man asks their girlfriend to do these things and she declines, he suddenly feels like hes not going to be fully satisfied from the experience because that is what he is used to in the porn videos. Women who agree to do these things (on camera or not) have the impression that pleasing her man requires her to objectify herself. The look of pain on a womans face during intercourse is "sexy". Gagging on a cock is "sexy". Why hurt yourself for something that should be about mutual love and pleasure?

  21. I says:
    Sat, 2nd Oct 20108:15 pm 

    Women watch porn too, I feel like if it was so degrading, we wouldn’t watch it. And most of the guys I know are aware that porn is different then real sex.

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