5 Lies We Think Guys Want To Hear

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"I can speak 6 languages and fold myself into a pretzel..."

I’m not a scientist, nor am I a statistics analyzer, but I’d be willing to bet the majority of lies embellishments you’ve told recently have been directed at the men in your life.  That’s just the way it goes.  You hit college and suddenly the dating field is a battleground.  It’s every girl for herself and if you’ve got to fib your way into the arms of Mr. Wonderful, then so be it.  You think you’re telling men what they want to hear, but think again.  Most guys know when you’re adding a little extra sparkle to your dating resume, especially when they come across these top five dating lies:

Knocking ten pounds off your weight.
So you’re signing up for those personal training sessions at the gym together and your guy is filling out the forms for you both.  More likely than not, it’ll play out like this:  “Hey babe, have you ever had any sports related injuries?” Not a one, you say.  “And how much do you weigh?”  Your thoughts screech to a halt.  You’re joining the gym to lose those few pounds you put on over the winter.  You were hoping they’d be gone before he had the chance to notice.  In a desperate moment, you shout out a number that is entirely false.  Apparently today you’re Nicole Richie.  A) He’s not a moron and probably knows double digits is a little low for your 5’7 height and b) he probably doesn’t care or hasn’t noticed the additional 3.8 pounds you’ve been stressing over.  Let it go

Telling him you can drink him under the table.
Ladies, just don’t.  Maybe you think it’s sexy to go shot-for-shot like you’re in some twisted version of Coyote Ugly.  Maybe you think he’ll respect you more if you can confidently walk out of the bar after six tequila shots and two beers.  More than likely you’ll end up looking like a hot mess and he’ll be holding your hair as you puke in the gutter.  Moral of the story: don’t tell lies you can’t back and don’t try to out-drink your date.  It’s not going to happen (nor should it) and, more importantly, he doesn’t want it to.

“I don’t usually do this…”
Uh, yeah you do.  The second those words leave your mouth, it’s a red flag to any guy that you’re no stranger to sex on the first date.  Now, I’m not giving you a lecture on how to conduct your personal life, that’s for you to figure out.  What I will tell you, though, is to own your choices.  He doesn’t want to hear about how you’re actually a really good girl; you were just having a rough weekend and got over served at the Applebee’s happy hour.  Be yourself and save the crap.

Pretending you’re not really into anniversaries and all those “sappy” holidays.
If it’s true, fine.  But more often than not, girls think guys want to hear that they don’t care about Valentines Day, birthdays, and anniversaries because it will make them more appealing.  Go ahead and tell him you’re the jeans and a t-shirt kind of girl, not the flowers and candy and where the hell is my eighteen-week anniversary card type of freak he usually dates.  Just don’t get upset when he takes you on your word and doesn’t deliver on the big days.  Men don’t do double talk – they like the truth, plain and simple.  It’s not a crime to want a teddy bear holding a heart; it is, however, to beat him over the head with the one your roommate got from her boyfriend.

Acting like you always look fabulous in the morning.
It’s the first time he’s sleeping over and you set your alarm so you can wake up and do your hair and makeup before he wakes up.  Of course, you’ll be in bed when he rolls over and smiles.  He’ll just assume your hair is always sporting those silky waves and your cheeks are genetically destined to be rosy pink…won’t he?  Nope.  Bed head happens to everyone, as do morning breath and pillow crease imprints.  The facts of life state that everyone looks like hell in the AM.  He won’t buy your Sleeping Beauty routine, nor should you feel obligated to put on an elaborate show.  Wanna wow him?  Brush your teeth, spritz a little body spray, bring him a cup of coffee, then get right back in that bed for round two.

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