5 Lies We Think Guys Want To Hear

"I can speak 6 languages and fold myself into a pretzel..."

I’m not a scientist, nor am I a statistics analyzer, but I’d be willing to bet the majority of lies embellishments you’ve told recently have been directed at the men in your life.  That’s just the way it goes.  You hit college and suddenly the dating field is a battleground.  It’s every girl for herself and if you’ve got to fib your way into the arms of Mr. Wonderful, then so be it.  You think you’re telling men what they want to hear, but think again.  Most guys know when you’re adding a little extra sparkle to your dating resume, especially when they come across these top five dating lies:

Knocking ten pounds off your weight.
So you’re signing up for those personal training sessions at the gym together and your guy is filling out the forms for you both.  More likely than not, it’ll play out like this:  “Hey babe, have you ever had any sports related injuries?” Not a one, you say.  “And how much do you weigh?”  Your thoughts screech to a halt.  You’re joining the gym to lose those few pounds you put on over the winter.  You were hoping they’d be gone before he had the chance to notice.  In a desperate moment, you shout out a number that is entirely false.  Apparently today you’re Nicole Richie.  A) He’s not a moron and probably knows double digits is a little low for your 5’7 height and b) he probably doesn’t care or hasn’t noticed the additional 3.8 pounds you’ve been stressing over.  Let it go

Telling him you can drink him under the table.
Ladies, just don’t.  Maybe you think it’s sexy to go shot-for-shot like you’re in some twisted version of Coyote Ugly.  Maybe you think he’ll respect you more if you can confidently walk out of the bar after six tequila shots and two beers.  More than likely you’ll end up looking like a hot mess and he’ll be holding your hair as you puke in the gutter.  Moral of the story: don’t tell lies you can’t back and don’t try to out-drink your date.  It’s not going to happen (nor should it) and, more importantly, he doesn’t want it to.

“I don’t usually do this…”
Uh, yeah you do.  The second those words leave your mouth, it’s a red flag to any guy that you’re no stranger to sex on the first date.  Now, I’m not giving you a lecture on how to conduct your personal life, that’s for you to figure out.  What I will tell you, though, is to own your choices.  He doesn’t want to hear about how you’re actually a really good girl; you were just having a rough weekend and got over served at the Applebee’s happy hour.  Be yourself and save the crap.

Pretending you’re not really into anniversaries and all those “sappy” holidays.
If it’s true, fine.  But more often than not, girls think guys want to hear that they don’t care about Valentines Day, birthdays, and anniversaries because it will make them more appealing.  Go ahead and tell him you’re the jeans and a t-shirt kind of girl, not the flowers and candy and where the hell is my eighteen-week anniversary card type of freak he usually dates.  Just don’t get upset when he takes you on your word and doesn’t deliver on the big days.  Men don’t do double talk – they like the truth, plain and simple.  It’s not a crime to want a teddy bear holding a heart; it is, however, to beat him over the head with the one your roommate got from her boyfriend.

Acting like you always look fabulous in the morning.
It’s the first time he’s sleeping over and you set your alarm so you can wake up and do your hair and makeup before he wakes up.  Of course, you’ll be in bed when he rolls over and smiles.  He’ll just assume your hair is always sporting those silky waves and your cheeks are genetically destined to be rosy pink…won’t he?  Nope.  Bed head happens to everyone, as do morning breath and pillow crease imprints.  The facts of life state that everyone looks like hell in the AM.  He won’t buy your Sleeping Beauty routine, nor should you feel obligated to put on an elaborate show.  Wanna wow him?  Brush your teeth, spritz a little body spray, bring him a cup of coffee, then get right back in that bed for round two.

Related ItemsDating Love Advice Boyfriend lies Love


  1. Guys don't wamt to hear the lies. What is hilarious is women get all upset when they catch a guy in a lie. Truth is always the best option. The other problem is that women can't handle the truth when it comes to a complaint or critique about them. Most women go all defensive and hostile and dump verbal abuse on the guy for bringing it up. Yet women have no problem critiquing the guy. Guys learn the lesson all too well and seethe in silence. What you have taught him is that he can't trust you with the truth and then women wonder why men are not more forthcoming with their feelings and their innermost thoughts.

    Ladies you shoot yourselves in the foot to your onw detriment. If a guy has a complaint about you, listen and ask him if there is anything else and then do your best to remedy it without taking the guy's head off.

    Just saying

    Blessings on you and yours

    John Wilder

  2. melissa says:

    Bring a one night stand a cup of coffee? not in this lifetime.

  3. […] • The 5 lies women tell men […]

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  6. […] The 5 lies women tell men This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010 at 11:28 am and is filed under Celeb Scandal. […]

  7. Tennisplaya says:

    Nice article! Guys (the right ones at at least) want to hear the truth. I'll admit i've been guilty of a few of these. I've shaved a few pounds of my weight, but guys don't really care about that, especially if you carry yourself well. And I don't even bother with that last one :)

    <3 TP

  8. […] 5 Lies We Think Guys Want To Hear – College Candy […]

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  10. […] 5 Lies We Think Guys Want To Hear I’m not a scientist, nor am I a statistics analyzer, but I’d be willing to bet the majority of lies embellishments […] […]

  11. Rachel says:

    Marriagecoach1 is spot on. I will go out on a limb and say that my friends and I are all guilty of using the following (awful) "defense" tactic against guys: when we notice we have messed up and are being called out, we react (totally inappropriately) by getting furious AT THEM rather than taking ownership of our mistakes. I recognize this behavior..for some reason it's difficult not to react this way. Maybe women just have too much stubborn pride?

  12. criolle johnny says:

    "Men don't do double talk" … BRAVO! We're also not big on taking HINTS! They're pretty much on the same page.

    Subtle hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Blatant hints do not work. Waving a neon sign and hiring a brass band is not a guarantee.

    SAY IT! S-A-Y I-T ! As Alex pointed out, it helps a lot if your mean it. That's how men are wired.

  13. G says:

    I don't get it: what if we really AREN'T into the sappy holidays and we really DON'T usually do whatever it is that we're doing? I assume we're not supposed to lie just to avoid sounding like we're lying…

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  15. Duncan says:

    For what it's worth

    1) Actually, sometimes do want to hear this. If a girl is a bit on the chunky side to the point that it's on the verge of being a deal breaker whether or not she sees it as being an issue and is intending to do something about it can be a determining factor in whether or not to pursue/continue the relationship. Obviously it would be best if she means it….

    2) Whenever I hear this I assume they're just being banterous. Since giving up drinking it'd probably be true in most cases as I imagine my alcohol tolerance is way down.

    3) Of course I/he wants to hear that, are you insane? It's nice to do well on a first (or second or whatever) date but the thought occurs 'maybe she's just easy'. Easy girls aren't sexy. But guy or girl there is nothing sexier than being made to feel that something about YOU is different and special. "I don't normally do this but…." is the perfect way to do this.

    4) This is fair. Only say it if you mean it. I like to feel I'm being romantic and if a girl was insistent that she didn't celebrate Valentine's day… that would just be confusing. I'd assume it was a prelude to a breakup tbh.

    5) Last sentence FTW. Bed head is sexy.

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  17. MelodicBrush says:

    I second on the previous statement about the bed head being sexy, bed head if very sexy…Just keep that shit in bed though.

  18. Nitro2u says:

    How bout the women that when you meet them are ..all about being spitual and God based.."GOD COMES FIRST IN MY LIFE" 'yeah right!

    You get to know them and these same weman are callin peole Muther f's and beatin on thier chest like a gorilla while threatening to ..beat some Bitches ass…lol

  19. Chocolaht says:

    1. I never lie about my weight… IF im too big and he cant tell Until he in the pucci then thats on him…. what u see is what u get.

    2. I never lie about the things that dont matter…why lie about not caring about a holiday if it really matters to you… TELL a man what matters to you and if he cant dig it then…NEXT…

    3. I never lie about being able to drink a man under the table… what lame asz man wants a woman who can…let alone lie about it…. I never tell a man i dont drink and smoke herb… I DRINK and Smoke-herb…IF he cant deal with it then he can keep it moving

    4. I never lie about what i have never done…I tell ERRY man i deal with that i tried a chick once… why lie about that or not every having anal??? why lie?

    5. I NEVER lie about how i look…I tell EVERY Man that with me its about a good weave, great make up, contacts and good lighting….lol they know most of us dont look pretty in the early hours… during those hours all he need to do is put the dyck to us.. who cares about the bags under our eys and our

    What I'm saying is why lie in the first play… Are men really that shallow and or fragile that they need to be lied to??

  20. Juliette says:

    I love LOVE LOVE articles like this, because they VALIDATE what I have been doing/saying/thinking all along. "Yes, I have done this before," "I don't drink at all (really), and my weight is 180 (I'm 5'6). The bottom line is, 'I' feel better about who 'I' am. I'm NOT a girlie-girl, but I know how to look my best.

    The point of it all is, be yourself. "This is who I am, real-2-real. I front for NO ONE".

    I love the comment from John Wilder/Marriagecoach1.

    Gotta love it!

    luv luv

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  23. Greg says:

    To answer the equstion, they don’t. Only the jerks do. This is just your sorry excuse for a boyfriend, yes. NEVER put up with behavior that you aren’t 100% OK with. If you settle, then you will end up unhappy. If you don’t ever settle for less than being treated marvelously, you will end up being treated marvelously. I’m not saying you should have insane standards, but you should certainly have a boyfriend who never lies to you, treats you well, thinks of you, is thoughtful, will never cheat, does sweet little things for you, etc. Believe me, it’s out there. You just won’t find it if you spend your time dating losers with something to hide.

  24. crazidave says:

    You know why woman lie and tell you what you want to hear?

    Because, its about there complex. It’s all about image, and how they

    Want to be seen. They’ll tell you what ever you want to hear to make

    Them selves look good. The perfect princess… :-P … IT’S ALL ABOUT IMAGE!!

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