Beer is Good For You. Hooray!

I don’t know about you, but the majority of my girlfriends will incessantly whine at a party if there is only beer available.

By Mel

“It makes me full.”
“I don’t like the taste.”

As the ever eloquent Ke$ha would say, “Just stop stop talking that blah blah blah.”

Personally, I couldn’t have a more conflicting viewpoint. I mean, who needs dinner when I can have a couple pitchers of Natty Light all to myself? As for the taste, I don’t really know how to calmly and rationally respond to this to a group of people who instead choose to solely take straight shots of Svedka.

I’ve tried and I’ve tried but I just can’t seem to convince them of the marvel of beer. Perhaps this new report commissioned by the Beer Academy (totally unbiased, right?) that says beer may be one of the healthiest alcoholic drinks available for both body and mind (when consumed in moderation) will finally change their minds.

So here’s the dillyo:

1. Beer contains minerals such as silicon, which may help to lower your risk of osteoporosis.

2. Beer’s a rich source of antioxidants, vitamins, and fiber.

3. Beer has a relatively low calorific value compared with many other alcoholic beverages.

Of course, these benefits only apply when beer is consumed in moderation and not when drinking out of filthy Solo cups filled with floating fuzzies from the ping pong ball that fell into them. The report also fails to analyze the omnipresent threat of beer goggles and/or beer bellies but it’s whateva.

Beer’s officially good for you and I’m stickin’ to my story…. and raising a bottle of Bud to the people who invented it.