My Life As… A Married College Student

While every college girl shares many of the same college experiences (selling books, sexiled, one shot too many), she also carves her own path and has her own unique adventure. Have you ever wondered what it’s like for other girls? What it’s like to go to an all-girls school? To go to fashion school? To double major? Well wonder no more. Our one-of-a-kind CollegeCandy writers (and readers!) are sharing their unique experiences and opening our eyes to different college worlds.

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I guess I haven’t had what most people would call a normal college career.  I’ve definitely had my share of the normal college experience – dumb freshmen antics, frat parties, enough beer pong to last a lifetime, all-nighters, roommate drama, last minute papers, and really great friends – but there is one thing that makes me different.

On July 10th, 2010, a few months before my senior year, I will be a wife.

Yeah, check that. Read it over once more.  I expect more than a few WTF’s on that one.  I certainly received them when I casually went over wedding details with friends last spring in several of my classes.  For the people that know me really well, it didn’t come as much as a surprise.  I’ve had my wedding planned since I was about eight years old, wanted to be a mom when I grew up with the aspiration to pop out about twelve kids.  But after I entered college never-been-kissed and jumped into a world of man trouble that led me to some severe man-hating, I didn’t think it was going to happen.  So on New Year’s 2008, when I had firmly resolved to swear off men all together to foster greater focus and better grades, God or fate or whatever decided that it was time I meet “the one.”

I guess you can say Paul’s one of those people I should have known but never really did.  We had countless connections and had indeed met a couple times, like, seven years ago when I was an awkward fourteen-year-old who thought he was honest to God the sexiest beast to ever walk the earth, and he was a sex-pot twenty-year-old who was living his life to its fullest.  But it wasn’t until that fateful New Year’s eve when a friend called to see if I could go grab a bite to eat spur of the moment before we all split off for our evening festivities, that Paul really came into my life. He and I hit it off (despite the fact that he had grown a ridiculous fu manchu and kind of looked like one of the village people) and I expressed to my friend that I would totally date him if he shaved off that God awful mustache.  Five days later he was at my door for our first date, clean shaven and charming as ever.  The rest is kind of history.  We had our share of road bumps, but by November we knew that we wanted more than a relationship; we wanted a forever.

The plan was to wait until after I graduated before tying the knot, as that seemed the practical response.  Winter passed and spring break came, and while most of my contemporaries were getting black-out drunk and taking off their bathing suits for cameras or drunk randoms in hotel rooms, I was in Utah picking out my engagement ring.  He told me I had to wait until the right time and we figured on a long engagement.  Naturally I already had the whole wedding planned by then, and Paul and I couldn’t have been more excited for the year to pass and bring new beginnings of all sorts for the both of us.  But after spending an afternoon talking about how we wished we were married RIGHT NOW and no longer wanting our goodnights to mean goodbye, we decided that instead of waiting a whole year and a half before we were husband and wife we were going to do it this summer.   There were a few naysayers in the lot, people who wanted to make sure I was graduated and situated and all that jazz, but ultimately everyone has supported me in my decision to get married.

A few weeks later Paul proposed on my favorite beach at sunset, which honestly came as a complete surprise due to a lot of well planned sneakiness on his part. He traced significant events in a our relationship, beginning with when we were acquaintances, then dating, then official, then best friends, then in love, then knowing we wanted marriage, and now (dun dun dun) officially engaged.

My friends spent the next few months studying for finals and writing papers and partying. I spent them trying on dresses and ordering linens and tasting cake, preparing for a life with my best friend in the whole wide world.  It’s been one of those crazy awesome experiences that I wouldn’t trade for anything.  A lot of people think I’m too young, too naïve, too inexperienced to leap into a life changing decision that could ultimately lead to another divorce statistic, but I know me and I know Paul, and there is nothing I want more then to wake up every morning to his scruffy smiling face.

And, yes, maybe I am missing out – my college career has been very different from what most would expect, especially here in beautiful San Diego – but it doesn’t feel that way to me. I’ve been waiting for him my whole life, and to call upon the wisdom of Billy Crystal, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”  And that’s what I’m doing.  It means instead of parties and bars I’ll be spending my evenings cuddled up on the couch with my hubby, probably either beasting Ultimate Alliance 2 for the third time, watching a movie, or finishing homework.  It means instead of calling mommy and daddy and asking them for money (which I don’t do anyway), we’ll be working our asses off making ends meet and saving for a house.  It means instead of panicking about where I’ll be after college I’ll know that no matter what I’ll be right by Paul’s side, where I belong.

[A special thanks to reader Megan for sharing her story with all of us!]



    1. Nica says:

      This was so beautiful to read. It kind of reminds me of me and my boyfriend of two years. A lot of people tend to say were so young to be this serious (18) that we need more experience, fun, and adventure, and lovers, that it’s too soon. But I think there wrong. When you have found someone that would do anything for you and you can be your complete self good and bad, that support you no matter what, why would you want anything else? What’s the point of dating around and getting let down by d-bags who just care about sex, having the hottest girl, reputation? Dating, heartbreak all of that doesn’t sound fun at all. Sure ill miss out on being single in college but honestly I don’t give a flying fuck (excuse me for my language) I rather be stupid if at all with him. Just like the story I know we are meant to be, because I couldn’t even think or want to think of life without him. Thank you for your story it is very inspiring to know that there are other couples like us out there:) congratulations and I wish the best for you both!

    2. Mary says:

      Some of friends are married and I think people (including myself) are kinda jealous because they have their shit together, for the most part at least. Plus it must be great to have that support system that's always there. You can still go out to the bars as a couple, you'll just act more responsibly lol.

      I just don't know how people can plan a wedding while in school, that's just too much stress! I'd rather be engaged for a few years then have all that on my plate personally. But I can also see your point, sometimes you just want to get it over with!

    3. Rachel says:

      I still think that it would have been for convenient for all parties involved if you waited until after college.

      Furthermore, the age gap between you and Paul still is pretty severe. 21 and 27? Most of these people are in different places in life.

      Despite my cynicism (which, I admit is unfounded), I wish you the best of the luck. Please do not become a statistic.

    4. N says:

      FAVE quote from When Harry Met Sally! You guys sound adorable together, congrats!

    5. Emily says:

      I think it's great that you know what you want and are going for it. My man and I are having problems with the waiting thing. Our families are encouraging us to wait to even get engaged and it is so hard for us to just not get married right now. We know it is what we want and that we are perfect for each other, so I get that need it now feeling. I seriously wish you and Paul the best and I hope your wedding is fabulous!

    6. Ace says:

      Um, 6 years is not that big of a difference. I say good for you kids, mazel tov.

    7. Eimear says:

      Congratulations! I hope you have a long and happy life together. And kudos for planning a wedding in college, that can't be easy!

    8. Marla says:

      6 years isn't really any sort of "gap" at all at this point. Sure, if they were dating while she was 14 and he was 20 still then yeah, that'd be a little bit creepy but now there's no problems. And what's the problem with being married and going to college? Wow, she'll be going home every night after classes to her bff/husband, instead of going to the bar til the early morning! That's just awful!
      :) As another married college student, I say congratulations. Sounds like you guys are gonna do great together and I hope for the best.

    9. Colleen says:

      I'm 21, about to be a senior in college, and I've been married a little over two years. There's nothing quite as amazing as going to sleep next to the man you love every day, and waking up next to him every morning. I don't go to parties and bars either, but I couldn't be happier.

      You will find most people will think you're flat out crazy, but those people have simply never felt the kind of love and commitment that you have. It's very difficult to explain to someone that thinks that there's an age requirement on love and maturity.

      Rachel: She'll be a statistic whether she stays married or gets divorced. It works both ways.

      Emily: Chances are, you'll get much more money in loans and grants from the government after you get married. If you're convinced it's the right thing, go for it. Our parents weren't supporting us anyways, and when we got married, financial aid finally acknowledged that we didn't have any other income except our own.

      Congratulations and I wish you the very best.

    10. A says:

      I think you're crazy. I think everyone who gets married is crazy. Congratulations on doing what makes you happy though.

    11. Emma says:

      Congratulations. I am always very put off by people who get married young, but I wish you and your husband nothing but the absolute best! I hope that I find someone like that in my life..and hopefully soon.😉

    12. Lacey says:

      People think I am absolutely insane when I tell them Im married at 21. Then they just dont even believe me when I follow up with, "oh yea, and weve been married for 2 and a half years." I think most people who get married young dont even think past the wedding. I counldnt be happier as a married chick. Being that my husband is in the military, theres a lot of pressure to marry someone because of the living situations and such. But both of us knew wed get married either now or later. I dont believe Im missing out on a thing. We love going out and getting hammered at parties, but we know our boundries with the opposite sex. Its difficult to explain where youre at in your life because everyone is differant. Some people are completely reckless, others truely have their head on straight and are being held back.

    13. Beth says:

      I got married at 21, and my husband was 28, he's 6 years and 10 months older than me- and we've been happily married for 3.5 years now. Don't listen to the naysayers, they're not the ones making the decision. When you know you're with the right person, everything falls into place naturally, which it sounds like it has for you two. Congratulations to the both of you! (and don't freak out and think WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!?! in the first 6 months if he leaves his socks around, or doesn't call when he's running late- it's normal to freak out a little bit once the honeymoon wears off) :) Good luck to you both!

    14. Alex says:

      wow, so you guys dated like two years…. lets see how well this works…

    15. Keni says:

      Congratulations. I honestly can't say I see anything wrong with you getting married young considering I'm from the south, where ppl get married young anyway. Like a quarter of the kids I went to high school with were already either engaged or married by 20.

    16. Alicia says:

      Aww! I think that's absolutely sweet! Good luck!

    17. misnomer says:

      The part of the country I'm from it's not all that strange to be married young. I know girls my age who are married and have a kid, and girls who have been engaged since their senior year (some are still with the guy, some aren't). I imagine it would make life more difficult, and a lot different. I know I wouldn't be up for it, but as long as you are happy and know what you are getting into, then follow your heart.

    18. […] In college…and married?! Say what? Check out one girl’s experience as a married woman in […]

    19. M says:

      I don't think dating two years is a bad thing. Honestly most relationships that grow stale after years of dating is because of that monotony of life through the same ole college life. If you want to stay together, make a goal of saving money, cherish the times in the morning together, the whole commitment issue dissolves into a faint little problem.

      I'm really happy for you, and the best of luck for the future!

    20. G says:

      This article was way sweet.

      I'll admit I usually wonder about the sanity of people who get married young, but despite not being a can't-wait-for-the-wedding girl I'll also admit to secretly taken with the idea. Go figure.

      Also, I disagree with whoever said 6 years was a big gap, because it's really not. Wish you two all the best!

    21. Kari says:

      You go girl! I'm DYING for David to propose, and I've still got a year left until I graduate. Every single reason you listed sounds like a wonderful reason to get married. Congratulations, best of luck, and maaaaad props for planning a wedding while you're still in school!

    22. […] girls? What it’s like to go to an all-girls school? To go to fashion school? To double major? To get married?! Well wonder no more. Our one-of-a-kind CollegeCandy writers (and readers!) are sharing their unique […]

    23. […] girls? What it’s like to go to an all-girls school? To go to fashion school? To double major? To get married?! Well wonder no more. Our one-of-a-kind CollegeCandy writers (and readers!) are sharing their unique […]

    24. wedding dress up gam says:

      wow , it's a good writing ,now i am eager to my wedding ,hah.

      Resently, i start to play wedding dress up games,i have fun here.

    25. MelodicBrush says:

      Married? In college? Well aren't you fucked…

    26. eightieslingo says:

      I got married at 22 and hadn't graduated college yet. I had a few more years to go before I had a degree because I hadn't decided on a major. So we got married, I took a year off of school and worked, then went back to college and recently got my BA in Early Childhood Ed.

      If you want to find out where all the married college students are, become an Education major. Almost everyone in my classes were either married or engaged.

      Oh, my husband was 25 when we married, already had a career, and we had dated for a year and nine months. We've been married over 4 years now!

    27. Natalie says:

      It is so nice to hear about someone else with a similar experience. Being from the South, though, this is really super common. About a year out of high school graduation a lot of the girls are engaged. My fiance and i are going to end up waiting a grand total of 2 1/2 years to get married (unheard of) when i'm a little closer to finishing. (Ill be one of those lucky 2nd year seniors when i graduate.). Funny thing is though, i am totally not one of those cant-wait-for-the-wedding-girls. I never wanted to get married in school and be like the girls i graduated high school with. I started college early to avoid all that nonsense. I think things just work out like that for some people. Unfortunately, people who are married young seem to be looked down upon when really a lot of it is cultural. In the North you all just seem to wait a little later to marry. Down here it is really not a big deal to be married by 21. Personally, I think that being married in college doesn't mean that you're stupid or naive or any of those things; it just means you found happiness a little sooner than some other people. No one should ever be able to fault you for that.

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    29. Miss Lissy says:

      Just so you know, I will be getting married in December and will still be in college. A lot of what you said I can totally relate to. We too were going to wait until after graduation but then we realized that was what other people wanted for us, not what we wanted for us, so we made up our minds and we couldn't be happier.

      Thank you for writing this.

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    31. Tim says:

      Hi, I'm a freshman in college and my girlfriend and I are in the same position. We were just curious as to how you guys are doing and were wondering if you had any advice for us.. Thanks!

    32. James says:

      So I was reading this and it makes me happy knowing someone is going through the same thing as I am… My fiancée and I are doing the same thing… and even though ppl think we don't know what we are doing we both know we do… “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,

      you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” is my new fav quote…:)

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    35. Liz says:

      What I don't get is why you couldn't wait if you knew you were going to get married eventually. It's always better to be sure. I've been with my boyfriend since the end of our sophomore year of high school. We are now college sophomores at UD and UMD, and I'll be studying abroad in Spain this semester and missing our 4th anniversary by one day. We know we don't need to get married even though we want to so much – we are waiting until after graduation. Being married in college seems like it would be more trouble than it is worth because there is so much room for jealousy and temptation (even if you know you would never act on it). To us, it's not worth the added stress.

    36. Amie says:

      I'm also married, and it is nice to know others are going through it. At my school there are at least two other girls who are married and seniors, although my husband and I are the only couple who are both in school at the same time.

      If you want to talk tough, that's tough.

      Add on top of that the stress of being a science major and taking major credit hours and 3 lab classes, and you've got my life.

      But, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I get to come home after classes and study while I wait for my husband to get home after work, and then we spend our nights together. Not many people get that. And I have never had any friend as close as my husband (as it should be) and I can't imagine waiting another year before getting married and having this experience.

      I think it takes a specific type of person to be willing to be married and in school, and that it's not for everyone. Maybe it just isn't for you, Liz. You're probably a more patient person than I am.:)

    37. mary says:

      thank god i'm not your friend. you really talk a bunch of shit about them.

      1. skillzbb says:

        which part of d story your talking 'bout…jst dnt be a hatah

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    40. Anna says:

      Thanks for writing this story! My boyfriend and I knew from the day we started "dating" (which we think is pointless) that we'd marry one another. I was a Freshman and he was a Junior though. The original idea was to wait until I graduated but from talking we think it would be best for us to get married next summer even if I have 1 1/2 more years of college. This encouraged me greatly! Thank you again!

      1. skillzbb says:

        weo, jst an advised..think before you guys start it, because the life are the same…in the pacific colleges nd families its different from the US life style…some stay wit in laws or their own parents but its no gud…its jst luv no hate

    41. bbybb says:

      weo dats gud you do it on your hapy choices nd decisions….as for me i was married when i attend college nd shit it is a whole lot different from what your was all i wanted me nd hubby nd our son under one roof, but instead where we are we stay together with in laws nd do their shit…

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    43. Helen says:

      I am getting married in 4 weeks and our stories are similar, you have to give up alot for marriage and it isn't always easy but i know this is what i want and it is what we want as a couple. waiting would be pointless because we already act as husband and wife the only thing keeping us apart is our bedrooms and their locations on opposite sides of town.

    44. Dianna says:

      I couldn’t resist commenting. Very well written!

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