Candace says:
Sun, 27th Jun 201011:24 am 

i don't know what you expected.

Lucy says:
Sun, 27th Jun 201012:20 pm 

Sounds like you need to move out..like NOW. I would die.

A says:
Sun, 27th Jun 201012:31 pm 

The guy in the picture looks familiar.

Jess says:
Sun, 27th Jun 201012:41 pm 

I think that you feel that you're competing with his mom isn't a very good sign. Just because he loves his mom, doesn't make him love you any less. If he did, well that's straight creepy.

"And when did the discussions about our future suddenly involve his entire family? Where he’s going to work, when we’re going to move out, or, as his mom likes to believe, “if” we’re going to move."

Honestly, at such a young age, I'm not surprised that his mother has an interest in his career choices.

It sounds more like you need to find a hobby for during the day, or get out since you're obviously not grateful to the people who are putting you up in your home FREE. It's not their fault you're holding out for a position in NYC. So I think you should either chill or find a place on your own.

marriagecoach1 says:
Sun, 27th Jun 20101:09 pm 

Well that is the only reasonable solution to the current situation. Or you could move back in with your parents.

You will get a job and save money and then you and boyfriend will be able to move into your own place. Be thankful that they are nice and generous and accepting of you. You could have it far worse. My now deceased ex mother in law hated me the whole time I was married to her daughter. The world became a better place once she croaked. I did not go to the funeral but I did go out to the cemetary and piss on her grave. It felt good.

Blessings on you and yours

John Wilder

enmiller1 says:
Sun, 27th Jun 20105:32 pm 

Wow, everyone seemed to gang up on the writer of this article…

It has only been a little over a year since my boyfriend moved out of his parents house and we have been dating for about four years.

I stayed over at their house almost every night once we got serious and his parents treated me just as the article described, with lots of love and sometimes too personal stories or comments. I lived in a dorm and then back with my conservative mother, so it was really our only option if we wanted to stay late with each other.

I hated the same things the writer does (the bickering in front of them and the quiet sex that never seemed to be quiet enough) but hated even more the way I saw him being treated like a child by his parents. It's not sexy to watch your guy fight with his mom about doing the dishes and who used the last of the laundry soap.

I guess it's a duh statement, but him moving out allowed our relationship to reach a more grown up level. And I'm glad lol

Alex says:
Sun, 27th Jun 20106:34 pm 

I'm with enmiller1. Though I don't live with my boyfriend's parents, I live in the same town as him and see them essentially daily over the summer. We have essentially the same issues, but the difference is, I can escape and go back to my house.

I'm totally with you, that's a really tough situation, and I don't think you're being ungrateful. Mom's competing with the girlfriend for the son's attention is one of the worst situations ever, and creepy too.

Being straight out of college, tons of students don't have the cash to get an apartment and move back in with their parents. I don't know why you couldn't, but having to move in with the BF's parents is a decent (though far) second.

Honestly, I wish you all the luck and patience in the world. And the ability to ignore any mean commenters!

T says:
Sun, 27th Jun 20106:54 pm 

While I'm not in the author's situation, I felt the need to step in and say back off people. My goodness, she was writing her experience to share with the rest of us and you have to criticize her that much? Is your life that sad and empty you have to sit behind your computer and write petty comments? It's like this on every article and it's pretty lame.

Beyond that, I'm sure it is difficult living with your boyfriend's parents. The image of having to do that with any of the boyfriends I have had and their parents makes me shudder. I hope it's not too bad and you two can find comfort in getting your own place whenever possible!

J says:
Sun, 27th Jun 20108:41 pm 

I understand that this can be an awkward situation, but why do you think you should be getting sympathy? You moved in with your boyfriend during college, so why can you not support each other on your own afterwards? I would be very suprised that y’all’s parents would allow you to move in together but still pay your bills? And is there some reason that you aren’t able to live with your family? It seems like a lot of baseless complaining to me. Either move out on your own and deal with the responsibility or stop mooching off his parents and move in with yours. You seem pretty ungrateful for a such cushy arrangement.

Katie says:
Mon, 28th Jun 20105:00 pm 

i am wondering how many girlfriends this guy has had in his life… i dated a guy with a very overpowering mom and i was his first girlfriend and she didnt really like that there was another new woman in his life… i guess thats just how moms are though. i imagine that with an only child, it would be like 800 times worse, too. the mom probably feels that she is being replaced with the girlfriend, i mean you guys seem quite serious… i wouldn't let it get to you. he is going to grow up and he won't be her little son forever. just deal until you both can move out… and if it keeps up after that, then wow i feel for you! lol

fashionclothingmood says:
Tue, 29th Jun 20101:46 am 

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Tennisplaya says:
Tue, 29th Jun 20106:13 am 

Honestly the situation could be worse. It's great that you get along with his parents and that they are accepting of your relationship. I've dealt with some strict parents and they could have had you guys sleep in separate bedrooms. My advice would to be grin and bear it for the time being. Get out of the house as much as you can whether that means looking for a job or offering to get the groceries. I think i would go crazy!

<3TP

leftos.com/tennisplaya

Ariel says:
Wed, 30th Jun 201012:03 pm 

I'm in a similar situation. My parents moved to Arizona, so if I wanted to stay here in Illinois, my only choice was to move in with my Grandma, or move in with my boyfriend & his mom. I chose my boyfriend's mom, she's less crazy. She always treats me like part of the family, & has no problem paying for food & what not as long as I do my dishes & laundry. (Though she some times does my laundry for me when I'm not here.)

I really am greatful, that she would so readily take me into her home & support me. But some times I feel like there's no space for me here. 'My' room, is really my boyfriend's old bedroom, & it's plastered from top to bottom with pictures of guitars, cars, & half naked girls. My stuff is tucked away, while my boyfriend's stuff is every where.

And it's been strange getting used to their habits. Things that I knew about before, but didn't bother me, because I always went home at the end of the night. (Or the next morning.)

All in all, I love being here, but I can't wait 'till I can afford to get my own place.

Alaina says:
Thu, 15th Jul 20103:28 pm 

I am living with my boyfriends parents, almost the same type of situation. Staying here until we get on our feet out here in NC. They are wonderful people but I don’t know how much longer I can stand it. My boyfriend thinks there’s nothing wrong and that I should be thankful they are letting us stay for nothing. But I feel a bit different. They can hear everything, and instead of being his parents, they are roommates to me. I have to do everything the way that they do it in the house because it is their house, and everything I do his mom has an opinion about. Which she chooses to always express. I just don’t know how much longer I can stay here with out loosing my mind and it taking affect on my attitude towards my boyfriend.
Oh and boy does she LOVE to talk about her husband and about her son and all of the bad things. She cries her heart out to me and it puts me in the most awkward situation. I am really not sure what to do to make this a better experience, I don’t have my own car here so when my boyfriend goes off to work I just sit here and look for jobs.
I am just ready to get up and out of this house into my own!

Hannah says:
Fri, 16th Jul 201012:20 am 

I agree with the posts from people who are telling others to back off. Honestly? If you haven't been there before, you have no right to tell others off. I am in the same situation here in sunny Brisbane,Australia except I am with a job, and

my boyfriend is not. I also have to pay an exorbant amount "board". It was cheaper

to live with my parents, but after dating 2 years my boyfriend didn't want to be apart each night and my parents live far away from my boyfriend. Any how, to the author, I TOTALLY feel your pain!! It's hard when his mother

competes for your boyfriends attention constantly and you're left in a situation where your boyfriends mum belittles him for not

mopping the floor and clings onto a lost hope that you and your boyfriend will never leave. It's so hard, and nothing says romance killer like her annoying voice calling his name through your closed bedroom door. Haha! Trust

me, it's worse to PAY for the privelage. Something I have learnt is to just

not comment or talk back. Ever. Which seems unfair, but so much easier lol! How do you guys keep the romance alive? I need some tips, and some days, if it wasn't for

my boyfriend…. I wouldn't go home! Haha! I wish you both luck soon and the chance to leave asap!! Love Aussie girl!

Ali says:
Mon, 26th Jul 20106:58 pm 

So I too live with my boyfriend and his single mom and let me tell you, its not so peachy. My boyfriend is so attached to his mother that the lanscaper thought she was his wife?! WTF? Sometimes the sound of his moms voice makes my skin crawl. I moved out of my mothers house because of physical and emotional abuse so i was blessed to have my boyfriends mom take me in, but that was three years ago. my relationship with my mom has gotten much better but living with her again would be the worst possible thing for me and her as well. I dont even think my bofriend is The One for me. We see our futures in very different ways, me, i see marriage, kids, and happiness, he sees money, freedom, and more money. I have had several conversations with my boyfriends friends about his relationship with his mom and his relationship with me and they all seem to think that i will always come second to her, which breaks my heart. i am happy that he treats his mom with respect but if we are in a serious relationship (which four years together i consider serious), i need to know that he will make me and our relationship a priority. i was just given the opportunity to move into a house with my friend from work and her husband, i am very interested in moving in with them, but i am scared to tell my boyfriend that i want to move out. i dont want to hurt him or make him think that i love him any less but i think that moving out would be the best thing for our relationship. Any suggestions on how i should approach this sensitive subject? ( Dont forget that he will not move out his mothers house any time soon).

Allie says:
Fri, 13th Aug 20104:23 pm 

I am in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I have been living with his single mom for about 3 months now and let me tell you I'm pulling my hair out. I love him and I love his mom their my family and I'm extremely grateful for the place but i choose to give up my place so my boyfriend could help out his mom, when we first moved in it was all peachy now it like shes trying to take my place in every little thing. I have a daughter and it's like shes taking over my motherly duties plus its like a race to see who is up first making breakfast and preparing my boyfriends lunch, when he gets home from work i can't have him more than 5 minutes before she's calling for him up the stairs, not to mention all the pouting she does when he won't buy her anything or let her buy anything with his money, he tells me i should be thank ful and all that but we don't even get time long enough together for me to enjoy all the things i should be thankful for, we make plans and she invites herself or he doesnt have the heart to tell her its just a us thing and if he does shes yelling at him or saying he doesn't need her for anything anymore I so wish she'd get a boyfriend, don't get me wrong shes super nice to me but its hard watching him be torn between me and her, i just don't know how much more i can take and being the 3 wheel its like i have no say so about bills, groceries, cooking, my daughters bday ANYTHING its really just put a damper on us and our attitudes somethings gotta give, I love him so much but he needs to grab the bull by the balls if ya know what i mean tough tough situation to be in i feel ya

Cathy says:
Sat, 4th Sep 20102:02 pm 

I am in a long distance relationship and he spends half of his time with his mom, if not more. This is our last weekend together and where is he? At home. He can never tell me when he's going to come visit me next (school started for me a few weeks ago and I just live about half an hour away from where our suburban houses are) and waits until the commute to tell me he's on his way. I feel like I'm always up for dropping plans I have to see him whenever possible when he's home for these short breaks, but the problem is his mom naturally misses him just as much as I do. Is it fair for him to spend half his time with her and the other half with me? I guess a 50:50 split sounds fair but I just feel like your relationship with someone (we've been dating over 2 years now) should still trump a 20 year relationship with your mother, even if it's the longer one. His mom is great, but I can't help but feel hurt that I'm not worthy of being who he always wants to see, whereas I drop my plans in a heartbeat for him. This is the case every single break.

Thoughtful says:
Thu, 7th Oct 201010:12 pm 

I can completely relate to the frustrations so many of these women are facing with their men. I have been in a similar situation for the past three years. I have a man who lives at home, has everything taken care of my mommy dearest and spends his free board on partying, wine and dining and weekend trips.

To make matters worse, his mom feeds him alcohol and endorses his lifestyle that is soooo borrowed. The fact of his dependancy hit me this past week when I wanted to finally move out with him. I have my own place, but it is a commute to work and his families is closer, say no more, I used to stay at his parents place quite a lot.

BUt, the little things kept getting bigger like his mom telling me how to wash my clothes or how to clean up after carson "the clothes needed to be fully in the laundry basket", and how old am I, past my middle 20's and the bf well getting up to 30 in a year or so.

The yelling, the talking to us when we just come in through the door, the yelling down stairs and the control issues, my goodness it's enough to make anyone run for the door.

The worst thing that erks me is how I now am ready to have him move out and in with me, though for the longest time I felt he should move out first on his own, but when i finally caved and said let's move out, now he doesn't want to.

This is unreal. His mom dictates his life. She even controls the car as he sold his and now uses one of "the family vehicles" so if he wants to come out and see me, she at times doesn't let him.

Now he is all about enjoying his life for the next couple of years and living the high life and me, " I am maturing to quickly, and I am looking to far a head into the future". Un-real.

You know that saying "comfort buids contempt", the best thing any lady in a similar situation can do with an over-controlling bf's mom is to gain some space and assert some solid boundries.

Nixie says:
Thu, 4th Nov 20108:42 am 

oh my gosh. I thought I was the only one going through this? I feel so comforted to know that some people are having the same thoughts as I am. Here is my predicament:

My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year and a half. My parents are uber conservative and religious so they wont allow my boyfriend to spend the night. I'm 22 btw. Yes, I get the whole argument that this is their house..yadda yadda…anyway I'm currently trying to get into graduate school to pursue my masters. My prospective school happens to be 30 minutes away from my boyfriend and his mother. So I was offered a place to stay. It seemed like a dream come true. I would finally be able to see my boyfriend more often and actually attend school without worrying about rent. But now that the time has come down, I dont know about it. My boyfriend and his mother bicker all the time and she does things that I dont agree with. She is a widow and seriously attached to her son. And when she talks about the future, its always when "WE" move. I dont mean to come of as a witch, but I dont want to live with my boyfriend his mother. No, I refuse. Ugh it just frustrates me because my boyfriend acts like their is nothing wrong with him being 22 and still living at his parents. Im wondering if he ever wants to get out on his own and out of mommy's grasp. I dont know what to do.

hime says:
Wed, 17th Nov 201010:15 am 

I actually had a similar situation with an ex-boyfriend almost 3 years ago. I moved out of my mother's house in KY and moved to my ex-boyfriend'sparent's house in LA.

Sure, it started out very sweet and his parents adored me but, as the months progressed it got much more tenseful.

I was borrowing an extra car of theirs to get and forth from work and I was trying to save up money to get my own car. His mother would always check in with me and ask how much money I saved up, or ask how much money I had in my bank account. Most of the time, I would avoid her questions until such time I told her it wasn't any of her business.

After that, his parents kicked me out with nowhere to go (thankfully a friend opened her home up to me) and quickly ended our relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I'll always appreciate their help and kindess but, they are definately boundaries that should never be crossed.

My STRONG advice to you is, save up what you need and get the hell out. You'll thank yourself for it for years to come.

Laur says:
Wed, 31st Aug 201112:45 pm 

SO great to hear of others going through this- now I can finally share my frustrations with people who understand! I, too, graduated college and moved in with my boyfriend- and his family. Reading this initial story made me laugh because it's the SAME situation. His parents are fantastic and do everything for me- I'm not ungrateful whatsoever- but after essentially living together in college, just us two, then moving back with a stay at home mom who I'm also competing with for attention…I can't even begin to express how frustrated and annoyed I am on a regular basis. I feel like there's no room to really do what I want to do because everything has to be up to par with the "household rules"; so I'm never 100% comfortable. When we finally get some alone time, mom walks in the bedroom to sit on the bed and talk to her son for an hour. I mentioned getting an apartment soon and he looked at me like I have four heads. He doesn't see anything wrong with living at home for another two years. TWO. YEARS. Yes, we're young and don't make much money, but I'd much rather pay for an apartment and get ALONE TIME which never ever happens.

Mags says:
Sun, 25th Sep 20113:53 pm 

I need some advice, i am 18 years old and my boyfriend and i has been dating almost 2 years now and he is 20 years old. My mother and I don't get along at all…everyday it's a fight and no matter what i try to do to make it with her it doesn't work. However, my boyfriend and his mom are allowing for me to stay with her and I'm a bit scared on what to do. I don't want to put all my problems on her, and give her anything to worry about. All her children is grown up, i don't want to be an extra responsibility. Yes i do have a job and i can help her, but the only problem is that i need transportation to college every evening after work. What should i do? Stay with her and figure something out…or suck it up and live with my mom until i get a chance to move out?

Michelle says:
Mon, 7th Nov 201111:19 pm 

Was there any improvement? I'm in my first week of this. I am a grown woman who raised two kids, lived on my own that entire time- met the man of my dreams and after we got engaged, I was convinced it would be a good idea to move in with his mother so we could afford to move to the North East faster. It's odd, awkward and uncomfortable and I've no where to hide! Survival tips.

Beth says:
Fri, 3rd Feb 20128:26 pm 

That used to be me except my ex bf was middle aged. My advice to you girls, RUN! They are boys, not MEN. Unless you want to be his mommy when she kicks it.

kill me now says:
Thu, 9th Feb 20122:25 am 

Omgggg same story. Had a breakdown today about her doing his laundry and sneaking into our room to “tidy” up. Cried for hours. I can’t afford to move and I’m miserable. I need consoling and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Ugh. Tears.

Maria says:
Mon, 20th Feb 201212:01 pm 

Wow, I'm so thankful there are others that feel my pain (not that I enjoy others in pain- but this sucks). I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years (he's 25 I'm 23), and I've lived in his home for 1 year after living in my OWN apartment. He lives with his newly single mom and his younger sister who still is in high school. I recently graduated college and I'm on the hunt for a job. Right after I graduated, I learned that I am pregnant! I met my boyfriend when his parents were still together and dealing with all the drama and bs has been ENOUGH to say the least. His mother is full spanish & for all you that know spanish moms….its hard to deal with if you haven't been put in that situation before. She's very over protective and she puts this guilt trip on him if he even thinks to leave and live on his own. My bf basically pays the bills here because she can't live on her own and support his sister (which i don't think its my bf's job to take care of his family….there are parents here!) I understand he'd want to help…but since we have a baby on the way I think he needs to shift his priorities. She wants me to stay here so when i get a job my bf and I can pay the bills and she can watch the baby. UH I DONT THINK SO…I'd rather leave and be a single mom than deal with this bs. She's loud, demanding, annoying, barges in our bedroom without knocking, suspicious if we have the door locked (wtf), says its her house her rules, blah, blah, blah. I feel like I'm in a horror story. Like you all, I'm very grateful they have helped me while I look for a job and have taken me in. Its not all bad there are great times here, but its just too much. I don't want to feel uncomfortable to come downstairs when she's having one of her crazy mood swings and yells at me like I'm 10. I can't bare the thought of how controlling she would be if I actually lived here with the baby. Constantly telling me how to raise my child because she "knows best". Like my bf, I feel guilty for feeling this way…but I know deep down its only because of her manipulative personality that I have stayed this long. I need to "grow some balls" and "man up" and leave…..now only to do this and not ruin my relationship with the father-to-be of my child. LAME I even put myself in this kind of situation

nina says:
Sat, 25th Feb 20124:11 pm 

My boyfriend stays with his mom, he's a momma's boy. we engaged and i want to take it to the next step. What should i do?.

singer89 says:
Mon, 27th Feb 201211:45 pm 

My story is alot similiar by Anonymous, NJ.

I have known my bf for 2 years and we have been together for a year and a half. His family are wonderful and blessed people. They love me as one of there own daughters, just as much as i love them as my second parents. Food is always welcome to me whenever i like, which i am very thankful for.

I try my hardest to be comfortable in there presents and do everything i can for them to be appreciated. I will do dishes, and clean up alittle. The part there that makes me feel uncomfortable is that She will pay me in cash; with all the work i put forth into it. I tell her "no thank you" but i have no choice but to accept it anyway.It feels to me. I should be doing something while i'm practically living under there roof.

Now i have a choice to stay with my parents or stay with him and his family, so i try to even it out a bit until i start working.While he is working and looking for new homes. He desperatly wants me working so i can have some kind of income, and to help us both get out.. I feel that i am the one slowing him down, and it hurts. Also hurts that i can't really explain this to him.

singer89 says:
Mon, 27th Feb 201211:54 pm 

What is your condition? are you moved out?

singer89 says:
Mon, 27th Feb 201211:59 pm 

I understand your pain <3 I have been in that mess before and i have been for about a year and a half. It's hard to explain to our man and for them to see how we truley feel. They can be sooo thick-headed! so i tell you what. Think about what YOU want to do. Can you afford living back with your parents? do you own a vehicle? Maybe i can help you out.

Janis says:
Sat, 9th Jun 201212:50 am 

Wow I can't believe someone not married would mov into a boyfriends or girlfriends parents home. You are to young to date if you don't have your own place. End the problem by moving on. A MaMa's boy will never move out, because MaMa won't let him. They have more guilt trips put on them than Carters has pills, & this started in their childhood. My brother in law is 51yrs old & lives with MaMa, she pays his bills so why leave.
RUN FOREST RUN! Find a man not a mommy's boy

molly says:
Thu, 14th Jun 20125:02 pm 

Im in your boat. Except the grandparents also live right next door and. Theres also a 14 year old brother. Ive been ripping my hair out trying to not argue when she goes into our room washing our clothes or ignoring my requests. We do pay most of the house bills and all of the utilities. We are unble to move out or she will lose the house. Help me.

mujer says:
Wed, 11th Jul 20128:15 pm 

I'm bawling my eyes out as I'm reading this right now. We've been living together back in our country when my boyfriend suddenly needed to move to Europe with his single mom and sister. We did the LDR thing for a while until my parents decided to let me go to uni where my boyfriend was. At first, I was so happy, I didn't even mind moving in with his family. But now I feel like we're turning into siblings instead of a couple. There's barely enough alone time anymore. Someone always butts in when we argue in front of his family. Everyone just walks in and stays in our room any freaking time they want. When we talk in bed at the end of a really long day,someone shouts from the other room that we're too noisy. I am just DYING for a bit of privacy. I just want to be a girlfriend again. Not his sister, not a parent.

Aylizabeth says:
Wed, 11th Jul 201210:06 pm 

Dating is when you and the other person are going out to get to know each other. It’s the same thing as you are sneieg someone . The two of you go out to dinner or a movie to just get to know one another better. When you start calling the other person your boyfriend/girlfriend then that means you know each other well enough to take things to the next level. Your relationship becomes more intimate.Now, in love means you have a very strong connection with a person. Every time you are with them you start feeling a chill or excitement overtaking your body. In love, like the word, is a strong feeling of emotion. It’s stronger then the feeling you get when you are around a family member. Loving somone is like another way of saying you care about that person. I Love my best friend a lot, but not the way I love my husband. I care about them both a lot, I don’t know what I would do if one of them ever got hurt. However, when it comes to sharing special moments of my life with someone, I enjoy sharing it with my husband. When it comes to my friend, we just sit there, laugh, and gossip. When it comes to my husband, we like to cuddle, hold each other, and be close. Hope this helps.

Katy says:
Mon, 16th Jul 20122:40 pm 

Thank God I found this forum!! I'm in the same boat with someone just as crazy..In my mid-late 20's and staying with boyfriends parents which was supposed to be "temporarily", due to my accident and needed recovery. I am eternally grateful for the care and support, but I draw the line when the Mother writes a journal/diary detailing not only her life, but mine and my boyfriends, everyday!! I get hounded with questions why we came home on a Sat night at 2am?! then see my life is detailed from what time I woke up, what I did all day, and so on…My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years plus..These are the minor things, I can go on for days about everything else, but pretty much everyone is on the basic page. I'll take any advice on how not to break down, and give up a good guy…

Lorna says:
Tue, 31st Jul 20122:51 am 

It’s the same for me! The only difference is, we have both got jobs, we have got a fair amount of money saved, he just won’t move out! I don’t want to be without him, I just don’t want to be with him in this house! I love his family but as everyone has said there is no privacy! I try and explain all this to him, to tell him that it’s unfair to make me live here like this, but he comes back with ‘it’s unfair to make move out and rent a place when I want to buy’ If we buy a place I will be here for at least another 3 years and I can’t handle it! Someone help me please!

Cameron says:
Tue, 31st Jul 20124:06 pm 

I am in the exact opposite position.. I'm the boyfriend living in the girlfriend/fiance's parent's house.. and I will admit that even I find it a bit awkward to say the least.. She goes off to work, (she Drives an Ice Cream Truck for her step dad).. and I have been looking to find a job. Though that hasn't really been going the way I wanted.. I have been hoping to get out of here, because I hate having to walk into the kitchen, and try and do the dishes with her mom coming in right behind trying to correct me on how to do them… Now mind you I have done plenty of dishes in my life, and when I was in the Navy the first three months of my first command was spent down on the mess deck (where the sailors eat) cleaning the dishes, restocking the soda fountain machines.. making the coffee cleaning the tables sweeping, and mopping the floors and all that great stuff (not really but I did it anyway). Anywho, I know how to do these things I don't need my girlfriend's mother trying to correct me on the proper way to scrub a pan, or rinse a dish.. Typically when I do the dishes now, to avoid all the corrections and stuff, I either wait until the two parents of my girlfriend goes out running around doing errands or stuff.. or wait until both of them go to work (which my Girlfriend's mom works from home, but she pretty much stays in her room during working our and the step dads goes off on another Ice Cream Truck).

Megan says:
Sun, 12th Aug 201211:01 pm 

I know how you feel…I feel trapped too…I hate talking to them because they are extremely nosey and negative!!

Megan says:
Sun, 12th Aug 201211:03 pm 

ahhhhhhhhhh I went through the same situation! It's miserable!

Kate says:
Tue, 16th Oct 20125:25 pm 

I too pretty much live with my boyfriend and his single mom for about a year now, weve been dating for 5 years. we always got along until recently. She lives with her boyfriend down the street. She was hardly ever home until 2 weeks ago when her boyfriend had surgury so shes been at home.

She pulled me to the side and asked me why i use so much toilet paper. i accidentally opened some trash mail in front of her that belongs to him, she went off on me! I know that it was wrong of me but she didnt have to say it like she did. “THATS MY SONS FUCKING MAIL, THATS A FEDERAL OFFENSE” . . .i am kind of hurt. I just sat there in awe, a few seconds later she said “KATIE, CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?. . .DO YOU HAVE A BIG PU**Y? ..WHY THE HELL DO U USE SO MUCH TOILET PAPER? I was so shocked bc she seemed so angry. She never went off on me like that before. a little while later im still sitting there like what the f*ck just happened?

DONT DO IT! i am moving back in with my parents 40 miles away. ITS TOO MUCH FOR ME! My boyfriend will miss me but i just think i am better off living away from her. hes upset with me but he says i should know i am apart of the family now bc she talks to me like she talks to them. but truth is i feel uncomfortable and out of place. when hes working and i am off i stay there all by myself locked in his room bc i dont want to invade her privacy.

Good luck!

MissT says:
Mon, 26th Nov 201210:04 pm 

OMG I"m having the EXACT same issue now. After having lived out of home for the best part of the last 10 years, I met and fell in love with my current bf, who moved back in with his parents after a bad break up when he was living inter state. After the lease on my old place ran out, he suggested that I move in with him and his parents, who are lovely people in small doses, just the same as anyone's parents. Things have been becoming progressively more annoying (especially with his mother, who is quite different to me, again not a bad thing, but not ideal to live with) I thought I could deal with it, however things have culminated when we came home yesterday after a 5 day get away to find our entire room (majority of my things) moved around because his mother thought we could use more space. My boyfriend didn't seem to understand my reaction (albeit it quietly and privately) of confusion, violation of space and privacy and quite frankly anger!! Just felt good to get that off my chest – I know the situation is not forever, however even for a short time it's becoming more and more difficult.

Ana says:
Wed, 9th Jan 20137:06 pm 

I feel your frustration! I am currently dating a guy that lives with his parents. I DON’T live with him thankfully and I really don’t want to marry him until he’s out. Although your situation is different from mine; you live with his parents due to lack of finances, mine lives with his parents due to the fact that they backed him financially in his custody battle for his little girl. So not only is he paying them back, but he also works for the family business. Its frustrating in the evenings when he’s still in work mode and mom/dad are hollering up the stairs with questions about company issues. These days I drive home rather agitated. I have a hard time being social and friendly when I know that I am invading another couples space. New couples/newlyweds are supposed to have alone time. Not hang-out-and-eat-dinner-with-his-parents-date-nights.

Diana says:
Mon, 21st Jan 201310:40 pm 

Jeez! You should get out of there as soon as possible. I moved in with my boyfriend who lived with his mom for most of his life. I pay my share of rent though bc the house belongs to his uncle. Bc of the culture difference at first we got introduced to his mom just as friends (she doesnt even speak english). She works a lot and generally she treated me well. She cooked dinner for us for about 2 months and we all played a happy family. She is very conservative and old-school, so we dont cuddle or hold hands in front of her. However a couple of weeks ago things started to change. She complained about that I ate too much food during dinner in the past couple of months, and I should contribute. I can't afford to contribute right now so I told him to tell her that it is ok and that I didnt have to eat dinner with them anymore. I don't really like to negotiate about money, so its easier for me to pass on dinner. The problem is that we don't even sleep in the same room with my bf. He sleeps in the room with his mother. He says it is a culture difference, and until you get married you cant sleep together. It feels so ackward to be downstairs in the basement while he is upstairs with his mom every night. Before we used to have dinner at least, but now it doesnt even feel like a relationship anymore. Both of us are in college, so we don't have much money, but he is even more dependent on his mom. i was thinking of postponing the relationship altogether, while he is able to stand on his own feet. This situation makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, especially living with his mom.

Anne says:
Tue, 22nd Jan 201311:40 am 

I'm going through the same thing. Living with my boyfriend and I moved back in with his mother after living in our own place for 3 years. We have been together for 7 years. He lost his job in 2008 and I was just starting a small business. So we temporarily moved in…now 3 1/2 years later, we're still here. It was supposed to be temporary. He is starting his own business and I'm now just finishing up school (change in career). We actually went apartment hunting yesterday and it was so depressing to see what we could afford.

My question to myself is…what is more miserable…to spend a considerable amount of money for a really crappy apartment and still struggle to get our feet on the ground…or just hang on just a little more until I've graduated and have found a job?

It isn't so bad living with her. She travels 6 weeks at a time since she is now retired. So we do get the house to ourselves. We don't pay rent, we have our own living space, and she doesn't bother us.

But why is it bothering me sooo much! I miss all my things which are all being stored in the garage. I miss decorating my own home, etc. But maybe just sacrificing a little bit longer will make us better off. I have a nice little nest egg of cash that can be used for a down payment for a home.

I'm tired of my emotions making decisions in my life. I want to make a logical decision. Emotionally I want to run like hell from here. But logically, it would make sense to finish school, get a job…move. I'm also freaked out a little that I"m going to be 40 in June and I'm back in school AND living with someone else's mother. Maybe I just need to ignore the #. 40 is the new 30, isn't it?

Advice on dealing with the mother….meditation, deep breaths, patience, just listen, exercise, and lots of journal writing.

Anne says:
Tue, 22nd Jan 201311:41 am 

Please excuse some of my grammar. ; b

whatdoido2002 says:
Mon, 4th Mar 20132:51 pm 

ok so..what if you are he girlfriend who moved into her successful boyfriends house who's mother lives with him! she has lived with him for over 4 years now and has no plans of moving…i moved in knowing we would move or she would get her own place in one year…he wants to now stay and save moneY??? is my sanity and no personal space worth saving hte moneY??? she already had the house set up before i moved in and my stuff is still in boxes for the past year. anything i have brought out has been lost or broken…help!!!