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Dear Tuffy Luv,
3 months ago, I ended a 3.5 year relationship. 3 weeks later, I jumped back on the horse, hoping just to get some rebound action. I met an incredible guy who embodied everything I ever wanted: he’s the smartest guy I’ve ever met, he makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has, and our chemistry is off the charts. 2 weeks later we were “official.” But things got out of hand quickly. We began fighting over petty things via text message and eventually decided that it just wasn’t working. So we dropped our “official” title, and decided to be “friends.”
But we continued going on dates, having sleep overs and hooking up. And fighting via text. He maintained that we couldn’t be in a relationship, because neither of us was ready. But we were ACTING like we were in a relationship, so when he didn’t invite me to his birthday party, I was crushed. I took that to mean that all deals were off, and out of spite I hooked up with a guy at some kegger. On his birthday.
The next day, I was honest with him about what happened. And just like that, our “friendship” was severed. He blew up on me for “cheating” and told me the reason he didn’t invite me to his birthday was because he thought having me there would distract him from playing host. I can’t tell if this is bullsh*t or not.
My friends all tell me that they’re proud I’m rid of him, and that he was an a-hole undeserving of me. But I miss the guy. So what do I do? Is this something that can even be fixed? How can I know if this is even worth fixing?
Help Me, Tuffy Luv.
Um. You’re not a sort-of-cheater. You’re a not-cheater. You are a person who did-not-cheat.
You say: “He maintained that we couldn’t be in a relationship, because neither of us was ready.” So, in other words–no, wait, in EXACTLY those words–he said you were NOT in a relationship. You agreed. Therefore, the two of you WERE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
And, way more importantly–HE DIDN’T INVITE YOU TO HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY. I mean, are you kidding me with this?! You hooked up with another guy to spite him. You know why?! Because he was deserving of spite!!! What kind of asshoop doesn’t invite the girl he’s hooking up with to his birthday party?!
Oh, wait. I know what kind of asshoop doesn’t invite the girl he’s hooking up with to his birthday party. The kind who plans to hook up with a DIFFERENT girl at his birthday party.
Yep. Maybe he’s pissed because you were able to randomly hook up and he wasn’t. Or maybe he hooked up too. Either way, dude was looking to score with someone else. Seriously. And you knew it.
But you’re letting this bananahead trick you into second-guessing yourself. He wants you to feel bad for two-timing, when, in fact, you weren’t single-timing with him. You were just single. And you had a good time. Plus, you know, if your friends ALL think he’s a jerk and are actually PROUD of you for getting rid of him, chances are he totally sucks.
PLUS plus, you were fighting the whole time anyway! Over petty things! After only seeing each other for TWO WEEKS! What the hell?! What the froop is the point of this quasi-relationship?!?! Hearing about his antics and his hissy fits and his stupidheadedness makes Tuffy want to poop in his sock drawer.
So forget this guilt trip and forget this guy. He wants to be pissy? Let him. He was just a rebound anyway.
TUFFY HATH SPOKEN.
Hearts & Skulls,