The Weekly Ten: Why Cleveland (Still) Kicks Ass

Beautiful, right?

Okay, so I have to level with you. It took every ounce of my will power to not use this column as a LeBron bashing zone. I know that not many people are as passionate about their sports teams, but when you’re a die hard Cleveland fan, you understand that being a Cleveland fan is pretty similar to being in an unhealthy relationship. A very, very unhealthy relationship. Where your heart is constantly being broken and just when you think that everything will be okay, and you’ll get a ring, then all of a sudden your man goes on national television to publicly humiliate you and announce that he’s dumping you and moving to Miami to hang out with his bros and hook up with the Kardashians.

But, like I said, I’m not going to use this as a forum to stoop to that level and tear apart that cowardly, embarrassment to the state of Ohio, LeBrat LeBron. Instead, like any good Midwestern girl should, I’m going to take the high road and focus on all the reasons that Cleveland will survive without the self-titled “King” and still rules, despite all the flack that people give the beautiful “Mistake on the Lake.”

10. The people
Who doesn’t love a good-hearted group of people? I’m hard pressed to find a nicer bunch of humanity than the homegrown heroes of Cleveland Ohio. I heart the Midwest and their genuine, laid back attitude.

9. Severe sports hotties

LeWHO? Have you seen Grady Sizemore (granted- he’s for the Indians, but still)? Total babe.

8. The Browns?
Come on, we’ve got a shot this year. Right?

7. Our amazing Cavs owner.

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Mr. Gilbert. I think Cleveland has a new king if you can keep your promise.

6. Awesome theme song

Popularized by the Drew Carey show, Cleveland ROCKS.

5. The Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame

The music capital of the world is Cleveland, Ohio. Got any doubts? Go check out the Hall yourself. Guaranteed an amazing time for any music buff or fan.

4. Progressive Field

One of the best looking fields in baseball, home to the Cleveland Indians. Wahoooo!

3. Custard, pop, Cuyahoga, Cedar Point, Antonio’s Pizza and Nickel Beer Night all sounds pretty good right now

Drew Carey has Antonio’s send him 100’s of pizzas for parties and for the set of the Price is Right. Step aside, NYC, looks like Cleveland is now the famed spot for pizza.

2. Fame Factor

Okay, so Drew Carey isn’t the only celeb to come out of C-Town. Cleve is also home to Halle Berry, Patricia Heaton, Wes Craven, Arsenio Hall, Kid Cudi and many many more.

1. Sense of humor
Alright, at the end of the day, we get it. Miami is the hot spot. Cleveland is no LA, NYC, Vegas or Chicago by any lengths of the imagination. But hell, at least we have a good sense of humor about it. Still don’t buy it? Check the Cleveland episode of 30 Rock.

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  1. Meredith - Boston Un says:

    here's a statue of moses cleveland, he's the guy who invented cleveland YEAH. love this.

  2. E says:

    Columns like this are exactly why I hate Cleveland. Being from Ohio, I can't escape the constant talk about how awesome Cleveland is. Within the first five minutes of meeting someone you will know if they're from Cleveland because they talk about it all the time. Let it go people. Please stop over-compensating.

  3. Lauren - University says:

    Uh, just saw this on Man V. Food. I'm seriously considering moving to Cleveland for this place and this place alone: http://www.meltbarandgrilled.com/

  4. J says:

    I have to agree with the t-shirts they sell where I live (the awesome city of Pittsburgh): Cleveland sucks.

  5. elle says:

    Im sorry, but give me a break and get real. I was born in cleveland, grew up there so I know what the city is like–and it has been in the crapper for a long ass time. Get over Lebron leaving, Im so happy he did. He doesn't owe them anything. Don't jump on the bashing bandwagon especially when you clearly know nothing about basketball. The only great thing is Cedar Point, best amusement park over. And that's in Sandusky over an hour away, so get your stuff right.

    And you call Gilbert awesome? Quite honestly his response we juvenile.

    Write better articles please.

  6. Erica - Kent State U says:

    I'm so torn. As a Columbus native who went to college near Cleveland, I began my 5-year stint in NE Ohio HATING the "mistake on the lake." But eventually, it started to grow on me. Little-by-little, I realized it wasn't so bad. I have to agree, though, you will TOTALLY know if someone is from Cleveland as soon as you meet them. I got into many an argument w/ native Clevelanders about which city was better: Cbus or Cleveland. (Needless to say, neither are that awesome.) I still can't help but feel bad for Cleveland, though, because those poor guys put all their faith in Lebron to finally give them a championship…and yet again, their hopes were crushed. If only all Clevelanders would stop talking about "how cursed Cleveland sports" is, though, they might have a chance. Positive thinking, people!

  7. ChelseyKelsey says:


    This article made me really happy. I was born and raised in Cleveland. The only thing I don't like about the city is the fact that I'm not super familiar with it.

    I moved when I was 18 (school). I'm about to go back and hope to fall back in love. I can't wait to sit in the snow at a Browns game. :)

  8. jeff says:

    go seattle

  9. […] Khloe Take Miami. Or I could just turn on ESPN, since they won’t shut up about the Miami Heat. Still bitter, Lebron. Still […]

  10. Jasmine says:

    Cedar point is in Sandusky. Not Cleveland.

  11. Alison says:

    Ohio is the armpit of America

  12. […] “THE DECISION” If it weren’t blindingly clear Angelina, you are not Lebron and the JShore cast is not Cleveland. They do not give a flying dirty pad if you leave or not. Please stop trying to keep us in suspense […]

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