Ask A Dude: My Ex Won’t Be My Friend

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (What do guys think of implants?) over to The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Dear Dude,
My boyfriend and I recently broke up. I told him we could still be friends and everything wouldn’t be awkward. Then I find out a couple days later he deleted me as a friend on Facebook. What confuses me is that he is not the first ex to delete me. In fact my other last 2 exes have deleted me as a friend on Facebook as well.

Dude, I know there can be a millions different reasons why they would, but I think it’s strange when I said I want to be friends. Why would they do that?

Girls Just Wanna be Friends

Dear GJWF,

A relationship consists of two people that cultivate a bond of trust, friendship, and vulnerability between each other. You grow together (or apart), you make room for that other person as a new constant in your daily life (even long distance where it arguably takes more effort), and gradually your inner lives are shared, until “I” becomes “We”. When that delicate and deeply emotional/psychological/physical/sexual/economical/sociological bond is broken then it’s often advisable for one or both people involved break from each other.

It’s wonderful that you want to remain friends. Often times, that’s a sign of wanting to retain some semblance of value to the relationship you had, a way of preserving what it meant to you, if you will, rather than erasing it from your memory. But you have to understand that what you want and what the other person needs may be different. While you might want to remain close, the young man may not be emotionally capable or willing. And you have to give him that space. Here, let me simplify my answer a little. Let’s see, how else can I-oh, yes, think of it like this: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU SO WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!

Let the boy go. If he wants to be friends, he’ll call you. But guess what? He ain’t your man and you ain’t his woman. Once you set him free then what he does, or you do, is none of the other person’s business. You reached out and said “let’s be friends.” Great. Sounds like a pretty mature thing to do (unless you’re being selfish and want him around for your whimsy) but what he decides to do with your offering is not up to you.

If he doesn’t want to be your friend on Facebook, MySpace, stops following you on Twitter, and crosses the street when he sees you then you’ve got to accept those actions. Because they’re not yours, they’re his. If he ignores you then you probably don’t want to be friends with him. Onward and upward!

There are a ton of reasons why guys get rid of any traces of the women they break up with or are broken up by. Maybe he hates your guts and thinks you’re the devil (like Sarah Marshall) or maybe he’s scared he won’t be able to let go if you’re still in his life (aka Tom Hansen from 500 Days of Summer), or maybe he’s a narcissist and once you’re out of his orbit, you might as well not exist (does he live in Manhattan? Because that would be my guess then). Bottom line: the reason is his, not yours. What you had is past tense, so you focus on your present and leave him be to focus on his. You can always be civil when you see him in person. You made the offer to be friends, now leave the ball in his court.

When you feel broken then you need time to heal and rebuild your inners. What that means is making sure you don’t set yourself up to keep reopening the wound. The best medicine is often distance and time. If he doesn’t call, doesn’t e-mail, text, tweet, send you a birthday card, come to your next party, then here’s what you should do: nothing. Leave. Him. Alone. Because odds are he needs to protect himself from you. You may not like it, it may sound immature to you, his actions might be hurtful and seem disrespectful to what you two shared, but they’re his decisions to make. You take care of yourself and do what’s best for you. He’ll deal with himself, you just deal with yourself. And hopefully you’ll both live happily ever after.


The Dude



    1. The Raisin Girl says:

      Screw that. He doesn't owe her friendship, but he at least owes her a civilized explanation for the sudden silent treatment. No longer dating a girl doesn't make her any less human, and her feelings still exist. Okay, so he needs space. Well, she needs closure. It's not all about him, either.

    2. K says:

      I disagree you, Raisin Girl. If she broke up with him, he owes her no explanation for ending contact. I have deleted an ex from Facebook as well and the explanation is clear: You broke up with me, I need time to heal, therefore I de-friended you. She should leave him alone, because obviously, there was a reason he didn't want to keep contact any more. No need for explaining.

    3. A says:

      You can tell a lot about a person after a break up. He needs to get over himself, and while raisin is right in saying he doesn't owe her a friendship, he should have made it clear that he didn't want one when she suggested they be friends.

    4. Anthony says:

      He doesn't owe her anything. shes the one that suggested they be friends and shes the one that probably broke up with him. I totally understand where he's coming from, I had a girl break up with me a couple months ago and i just went ahead and disabled my facebook because i didnt want to have to delete her but i couldnt look at pictures of her everyday and see how good shes doing without me. he just needs her out of his life for a while to get over her just like me, if she wants an explanation she should probably ask him and not expect him to try to contact her. and just for the record i just started my facebook back up and i couldnt be doing better. DUDE IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

    5. Matt says:

      Why would you want to be friends with someone you used to f*** on the reg? It's always awkward.

    6. Lisa says:

      I think a middle ground may exist somewhere in this. Maybe he doesn't hate you or anything…maybe he just needs time to heal before he can "be just friends" with you. Maybe seeing your status updates on FB, new guys you're hanging out with, good times you're having, and the like are simply a little too painful right now – like rubbing salt in the wound.

      I don't think he owes you an explanation. You did break up after all. Maybe it's a little childish of him, but nothing says that, after you break up, you have to stay in contact. Maybe later he'll add you back. Give him time, give him space.

    7. My ex boyfriend did the same thing to me after I broke up with him. His reason was that he didn’t want to see what I had been up splashed all over his news feed. I didn’t get it, I still don’t get it, but I respect whatever he has to do in order to “get over” me. And then maybe after that we will be able to be friends. We’ll see.

    8. Lina says:

      When my ex broke up with me, he told me he still wanted to be friends. I told him there was absolutely no way that was going to ever happen (he pretty much blind-sighted me with the breakup). I deleted and blocked him on facebook and have never contacted him – nor do I intend to. I certainly don't hate him, but I don't like him either – I'm indifferent. And to get to this point, I had to completely remove him from my life and I'm never looking back.

    9. fashion123 says:

      This article speaks so much truth! I tried to be friends with my ex boyfriend, needed someone in my life who knew me and everything i was going through. seems like my mom having cancer is just a burden on him and he's too busy trying to slay dragons to really care about anyone but himself. This is exactly why girls always have been, always will be more mature than the male species. We think with our hearts, men with their dicks. There shouldn't be an issue with being a friend to someone you shared a special, intimate part of your life with. However, some guys are too caught up in their new hair gel, and designer jeans to focus on things like maturity. Ah well, win some, lose some.

    10. […] • Are you friends with your ex? […]

    11. David says:

      The Dude, as usual, is correct. The only thing I'd offer is this: just because an ex needs his space, needs time away, needs to be out of touch for a while, doesn't mean friendship is impossible. It's not that he doesn't love you, it's that he still loves you too much. And once the wound heals, the love that you had in a romantic relationship can turn into friendship. That just can't happen when he's still romantically in love.

    12. Gee says:

      Cheers dude, this article has really eased my mind.

      I broke up with someone who treated me badly as a girlfriend but we both still wanted to remain friends as we only went out for a short amount of time.

      I've been finding it hard to get over him and move on because since we broke up he's been so hot and cold towards me, but your article has made me realise I was always putting the pressure on myself to mantain a relationship and I always stressed and over analysed everything he did.

      This is now gonna stop thanks to you, I can't force him to do anything, and I gotta stop wishing things could be different, cause I don't know whats going throught his mind! Cheers Dude xoxoxoxox

    13. criolle johnny says:

      Your ex and two other exes? Maybe it's you.

    14. M says:

      I think the girl is a selfish _____ for making it seem like it's all about her feelings. Maybe if she understood that he has his own feelings to worry about and get over she could get over it herself. She is the one who hurt him.

      Maybe you're not worth it for him to still talk to you.

    15. OldFashioned says:

      That's probably just his way of getting over things. I'm sure you have plenty of other friends and don't need someone who has no interest in you

    16. been there says:

      Dude is 100% correct.

      This girl is being selfish and narrow-sighted. When you break up with someone, they are under no obligation to remain friends with you. Especially if they sense you're keeping them around for your own purposes.

      This girl sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too—get all the benefits of his emotional support, while getting to f*** someone else, AND while taking advantage of the fact that he still probably loves her.

      Ugh, people disgust me.

    17. Nicole says:

      Um, hate to break it to you Fashion123, but I'm a girl and I behaved exactly the same way when my ex broke up with me. It was incredibly painful for me to even think about him, let alone see pictures from the vacation we were supposed to take together posted on Facebook. I deleted him from my facebook and when he sent me an email that asked me why, I deleted that too. When I did that, I was thinking with my heart and trying to protect it from further heartbreak! I do think it's possible to be friends with your exes, but not right away.

    18. MATT says:

      Ok a few points:

      1. To many guys when a girl breaks up with them a man hears "I don't want you in my life." While it may be them saying "I want to change the depth of our relationship." Well you know seeing an ex on facebook can be painful and a reminder of what we once had, our heart hurts.

      2. Grow up, if you want a man to be there for you and be an emotional support well then you just threw that away, he was there for you, now he isn't, you are no longer in a relationship, you had your emotional support and you chose to leave it.

      3. To Fashion123……wow, I mean wow. Ok, so it is your boyfriends fault that you had nobody else to turn to when your mom had cancer? Well guess what? You chose to have him leave your life. The fact that guys pay attention to you when you are in a relationship, and talk to you and listen is part of being in a relationship. You broke his heart, and to justify it by saying he would rather play w/ dragons then you, well that may speak very highly of your character and what he realized after you broke up with him. Grow up, deal with it.

      4. This whole article sounds fishy to me, it sounds like they broke up and she went "I still want to be friends" Well guess what darling, friendship is a two way street, and you offering him friendship, because WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?!?!?! Well just because you decide you two can still be friends, does not mean that you two can, it takes two to tango.

    19. […] Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Why can't we be friends?) over to The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any […]

    20. J says:

      Yea, I think I would have to agree that if three consecutive bfs decided to de-friend her after break up, GJWF may have been a bad girlfriend or handled the break-up badly. Also, people often don't make the most rational statements during break up talk; a guy agreeing to be "friends" during the break up talk doesn't mean much (nor should it if you are putting him on the spot after you emotionally mugged him by dumping him). It takes a few days to think it over and deleting your ex from fb is probably the most polite and clear way to express a disinterest in remaining friends (at least, that's the best you should expect if you dumped him…just be happy he isn't sending you an angry email saying why exactly he has no desire to be friends any more).

      As a point of disclosure, I've had exes I've stayed friends with and some I haven't (and as I get older, I tend to lean more toward the latter…I have enough friends and the benefits of staying friends with exes rarely outweighs the cons). However, I've learned the only real chance you have to stay friends in the long term is to go cold turkey with contact for some time until both sides can develop some emotional distance (a good rule of thumb is that the person who got dumped should have had another significant intervening relationship before you should attempt to redevelop a friendship. That doesn't count rebounds…it needs to be something emotionally significant so you aren't the most recent girl he has been in love with). In short, DON'T HAVE THE "LET'S" REMAIN FRIEND DISCUSSION DURING OR IMMEDIATELY AFTER BREAKUP!!!! Particularly if you are doing the dumping.

    21. Sarah says:

      So i dated this guy for little over two months and to top it off we are on the swim team with each other. Sadly i have to see him offen. When we were dating i wasn’t happy with myself and he treated me like crap, so one night i was so upset i ended it in a voicemail.(i know not smooth.) Then we got back together that morning and i was in tears. It was really bad. A week later he dumped me the day before valentine’s day and said he couldn’t trust me. I was okay with this bc i didn’t really want a relationship and he was moving to fast. The guy wanted to get me a diamond promise ring for valentine’s day. i was like ok that is creepie. At the time i was worrying about being pregant and my friend insisted i should tell him. I told him straight up i didn’t want to get back together if i was. Then he got pissed at me and stopped being friends with me. Deleted all contact. Facebook, number, and stopped sitting at our lunch table. Yet, that didn’t bother me. What did is that his friends started harassing me and picking the fight for him. I talked to my law teacher and he said he wants you to play the game, just stop reacting. So i stopped talking to him too. I didn’t want to talk to a guy who would scream and curse at me. Then the other night i actually felt bad and i left him a voicemail saying sorry and i was grateful that he dumped me. My advice for this girl is that it may not seem like it now but, in the future you will be much happier and there will be days and weeks you’ll forget he exists all together. After, i sent the vociemail he put our friend in the middle and made her txt me saying that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. And i told him the truth that i didn’t want to be in it. This guy has a serious problem were he makes shit up to make himself feel better. He tells everyone i dumped him and after i stopped talking to him, he lied and told people i txted him everyday. If your ex is as crazy as mine, honey you’re better off. But, i have a question. If anyone can answer it. Am i doing the right thing? For now at least? And my last piece of advice is that your man was probaley as inmature as mine. Just let him be. Like the beatles song and one day out of the blue he will contact you. Until then don’t worry about it. Move on, love life, travel, eat food, and fall in and out of love offen.

    22. MATT says:

      Dear Sarah,

      Are you blind? At what point in your two month relationship did this controlling manipulating jerk seem like a good idea? Why is it that girls fall in love with anyone who says they love you then proceeds to treat you like crap? Good for you getting some distance, but you did allow it to continue happening. If you have the resolve to break it off, have the courage to stick by your convictions. Flip flopping only plays into a manipulative jerks plans. Look for a nice guy, might not be as exciting or sexy, but you will be happier, believe me. And yes, cutting out someone who is emotionally hurtful is the right thing to do, it is your life, you don't owe him anything (just like how the ex boyfriend in the original story owes nothing to his exgf)

    23. M says:



      I am so sorry you went through that (I wish there was a warning that came with those kinds of guys).

      The truth is that the men who manipulate worry about themselves first. Never a good person to be in a relationship with, nor someone to be friends with. In the end those kinds of people, like the girl in the article, are only in it for themselves.

      There are many amazing guys out there though, who will care about your feelings and not manipulate/abuse you.

    24. Holly says:

      Matt, it's pretty obvious you've been badly hurt, but turning into a bitter cold-hearted person is not the way to deal with it. Have a little compassion for fashion123. She may have ended the relationship (she didn't actually say that)but we don't know the circumstances. Maybe her ex treated her badly. It's understandable that she would want someone she used to be close to to give her some support. Basic human decency is not limited to people in romantic relationships. I think her ex is being selfish and hurtful.

    25. mandy says:

      I understand "Dudes" point of view 100%, men have a different way of copeing with these situations. I guess because it is so different then how we would handle things questions naturally arise. My last boyfriend realized that he needed to be young and do his thing. After mutually breaking up he was quick to shut off every emotion. Its been 5 months since and i think about him all the time and to my surprise we are randomly enemies now?? We didnt have a horrible breakup we now live in different cities so its not like im going to show up at his place while some other girl is there i mean i have completely given him his space! Does he really hate me? why wont he talk to me and why does he get so upset when he knows im around or in the same area? I did NOTHING to hurt him in anyway,all i ask for is to be civil! From a mans point of view why is he making us enemies?

      1. John says:

        Mandy, you obviously "hurt" him, there is never a mutual breakup, and if he told you that then he's lying to you. it's always 51% 0r 49%, someone doesn't want to go along with the program. He cant come to grips with the breakup. My gf recently broke up with me 2 months ago, she was a live in gf of over 4 years. We had talked marriage and all the other stuff in-between, up until 1 week before the breakup. She wanted to be friends, but I found out later that she was just playing me for storing her stuff and her animals. It took her over a month to pack up her crap and move out, but she wanted me to "hang on" to her stuff and her pets. What a joke, so after almost 2 months she finally came and got her animals. The very next day she defriends me on fb. What a joke, she's a "taker" just like her mother. My life is so much better.

    26. Frank says:

      Oh this one hits home. I enjoy the comments and the emotion behind them. A few other points: I am dealing with this right now and am resolute in my convictions that, as much as I love this girl, that being friends would only a)continue to break my heart on a regular basis b)be downright dishonest in that I still want to try and make it work c) would give her a forum to beat me up about everything I did wrong in the relationship and d)the realization that she hurt me very very badly and that I have enough self respect to cast someone out of my life that did that. She does not get this and recently came to see me after a tragic event in her life. On cue she asked me whether or not I was dating a common acquaintance. I told her that this was off limits and she got defensive saying that I was "scolding" her. Which leads to another reason: There would be so many "off limits" topics that any conversation would be like tiptoeing a Cambodian minefield…

    27. Frank says:

      Mandy, you ex sounds confused to say the least. Although you say that you didn't hurt him it appears that at least his ego is hurt. You are right, we do handle things differently. You may want to have a sit down with him or just accept the hostility. Sorry, this situation sounds tough…

    28. Cindy in Miami, FL says:

      She never said she DUMPED HIM. She said: "My boyfriend and I recently broke up. I told him we could still be friends …" It could have been mutuak or maybe he did something to provoke the breakup. I think he sounds selfish, immature and very self-centered. It's probably the best thing for her that he's not in her life.

    29. Stacey Potash says:

      I strongly disagree with the author's statement:

      "Let’s see, how else can I-oh, yes, think of it like this: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU SO WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!"

      No – it's about BOTH of them. The relationship consisted of 2 people. The ex bf is free to remain friends with her or never see her again. It's his choice like it's also her choice. But it most certainly is about her, too.

      Geez, what a douchey thing to say.

    30. Alice M. says:

      Who says SHE broke up with HIM? She just says, "My boyfriend and I recently broke up. I told him we could still be friends…" Maybe it was a mutual decision, maybe he did something to incite the breakup. Regardless, he sounds like a little woosey coward to treat her that way.

    31. J_ says:

      I apologize for the essay here, but my experience is relevant and I'd like to share.

      I went through something very similar very recently. She and I had been friends for a very long time before deciding to begin a relationship. We were together for a while, and afterward, she broke it off with me. We stayed friends, and 90% of the time, we had a blast; however, that we got along as friends, and that I loved her as a friend, never meant my feelings went away. I learned it wasn't a just a matter of knowing intellectually that a relationship is over, yet for a long time I dreaded creating the space needed for me to get entirely over her because I knew what pain it would cause the both of us.

      Long after our relationship ended, I told her I needed to spend some time apart from her. She knows exactly why we won't be hanging out in at least the near future. I don't know what she feels about my decision aside from the general sense that it's intensely negative. I left the door open for her to ask for my help whenever she needed it, and that I hoped one day we'd be able to talk again; it's been a few months and we've talked twice, during which we've been pretty friendly.

      Despite the guilt I feel about possibly ending a great, lasting friendship, I think I made the right decision. She had talked enthusiastically about us sharing an apartment together, and while I think about how convenient and comfortable and fun it would have been for us to have been that close, I had to account for the possibility of her dating other men while I lived with her–and also how awkward and impossible it would have been for me to explain to a woman why I'm sharing an apartment with my ex-girlfriend.

      I understand the viewpoint that a guy shutting out a friendly ex is immature, but I can't always agree with it. I think I attained a level of emotional maturity by acknowledging what I felt for my friend, and that I'd be hurting myself by ignoring what I needed to do. I think maturity is sometimes applying cold, dead-eye logic to situations about which you are otherwise intensely passionate. I think cowardice would have been moving in with her and hoping against hope and common sense that she'd have a change of heart.

      Perhaps I was doing her a favor by suppressing how strongly I felt about her, but I don't think so. I hate thinking of my time with someone as important as her as training wheel experience for life, but I nevertheless did learn that 1) ambiguity is life support, and 2) the truth kills. I think some people need time *and* space to see things clearly and to grow. I love my friend dearly, but not just *as* a friend; and I see that things must change between us before we can associate like we did before. I'm sad, and I think she is, too, but it's the truth.

      1. Justin says:

        Hello….being friends with an ex just isn't going to work. My ex of an 4 year live in relationship just broke it off with me about 2 months ago. She wanted to remain friends, however, I had found out that she had lied to me about this "guy" she was now seeing, telling me for over a year that she thought he was either gay or that "there is no way she could have a romantic relationship with him". I trusted her as I didn't want to be the jealous bf. Once trust is gone so is the relationship and whatever friendship she might think is still there. Basically, friends dont LIE and CHEAT on each other. Her loss. My life is moving forward, she on the other hand is stuck in limbo. No place to stay, except with this new guy after 30 days! Yup, talk about rebound. Just like her mother, always looking for the bigger better deal.

    32. Jessica says:

      YES MATT!! You are so RIGHT!!! He wasn’t good enough to be your boyfriend so you let him go. Realize he may be hurt and that’s his way of dealing with it! Maybe he’s letting you go too!! *shrug* Happened to me once, and that’s fine… Didn’t understand it, but I didn’t make a big deal of it. And soon realized that’s the way he dealt with it! *shrug*

    33. George says:

      Man Law: Never be friends with an ex-girlfriend.

      The question is not, "why won't he be my friend?". The real question is "why would any man want to be friends with an ex?". You'll notice most guys do this, cutting out their exes. A guy who wants to be friends with an ex is engaging in chick behavior and a)setting himself up for more heartache; b)hoping he can score some post-breakup sex; c)all of the above. As Matt said, "To many guys when a girl breaks up with them a man hears 'I don’t want you in my life.'”

    34. Annie says:

      Dude, what if he was the one that did the breaking up and said "lets stay friends" and then MONTHS later (even a year +), after you are both in relationships, he de-friends you on facebook? This was a guy I had a 7 year relationship with. As far as I could tell he de-friended me just before he was planning on proposing to his girlfriend. Maybe the thought was the he didn't want me to find out – I did anyway, within a couple of days. I know I'm better off, the more I think about the whole situation, the more pissed I get (long break-up story). We couldn't have a phone conversation more than 20 mins long, b/c then it would end in a fight, much like our relationship.

      It's not that I think his friendship is worth it at this point. I just found his timing puzzling, b/c e had to know I'd find out about the engagement anyway!

    35. Louise says:

      J_: you sound extremely emotionally mature, and what you wrote really struck home with me. Going through a similar situation, where a boyfriend of several years is someone I'm now trying to be "just friends" with (a mutual decision), I found your insight to be so accurate. I'm finding out you simply can not be friends with someone you still have deep feelings for without a break of some sort. It's just necessary. What you feel and what you shared does not simply evaporate because you wish them to do so (or sometimes we don't wish them to do so, and need to!)

      So congrats to you for not putting yourself in a situation that would have left you hoping and wishing and praying for something that probably would have never come to fruition. That takes not only maturity, but pure courage, because telling someone you love that you can't be with them (not that you don't WANT to be with them, but you can't be), has to be one of the most difficult things to do in anyone's life. It would have been easier, as you say, to just move in with her and hope for the best. So good for you. Many people could learn from you about doing what they need to do for themselves, despite how they feel about someone else.

      I think the article is spot on. If you're not in a relationship anymore, you have to let the other person do whatever they need to do. That's called being grown-up.

    36. MJ says:

      I had a serious boyfriend a few years ago that I was very close with. We lived together and talked about marriage. I genuinely liked him as a person, but discovered a different side to him as time went on. He began talking down to me, always questioning me, putting down my clothes, and talking down my friends.

      By the end of our relationship I felt pretty beat up. The icing on the cake was discovering he secretly met with another woman for lunches and coffee, and lied about it. That is when I finally left him. I don’t know why he treated me badly right after I moved in with him, but I do know I left because I had to, not because I wanted to. I truly loved this guy and even though I knew I couldn’t be with him anymore (because I would be disrespecting myself by allowing him to treat me that way), I still wanted to remain friends since he was such a big part of my life and we knew so much about each other, not to mention I believed the absence of relationship would get him to treat me how he did when he was still nice to me.

      He refused to speak to me after I left. He actually went beyond that and did things to intentionally hurt me. I felt like he was pouting that I left. To this day (3 years later) he will not speak to me if he sees me in public. Mutual friends also tell me that he speaks poorly of me, as recent as a few weeks ago. It’s been three years. Why is he so bitter at me? I left because he drove me out and he’s got the nerve to be angry at me?

      I’ve just come to the conclusion that certain types of men are not capable of being around someone who rejected them- regardless of whether they deserved it. I think people are coming down on this girl without knowing the details of her circumstance. If they are anything like mine, then I completely feel for her. It mentally messes with you when you are a good person and you leave a guy because he’s not treating you right, and then he acts like you’re the bad guy and ignores you. All in all, my ex doesn’t really deserve my friendship and I think he was fortunate that I even wanted to stay on good terms with him. It still bothers me sometimes but for the most part I’ve let it go. He was a good emotional boot camp for me and I’m glad it happened the way it did, ignoring and all.

      And sorry this was so long but I didn’t know how to explain it shorter.

    37. Amber says:

      My boyfriend & I dated for 3 yrs. A couple of months ago he broke up with me. We were very much in love & had planned to get married after college. When we first broke up we continued to talk & text as usual & even discussed getting back together. Then one week he was away & we were unable to talk when he got home he told me we did not have a future together, this nearly killed me. He never gave me an explantion as to why. He got to where he wouldn't talk or text me. About a month ago we started to text again, I told him I still loved him & he told me we were never getting back together & that he was not in love with me, and that we could not have any comunication until my feelings for him were gone. He deleted me from his facebook & pretty much from his life. We attend the same college & 2 days after we returned he texted & said he was ready to be friends again. We have been talking & texting on a regular basis every since. He has even asked me to hang out with him and his friends. Things had been great & we seem to be doing fine as friends, but when I hang out with other guy friends it seems like it upsets him. I talked to him about this & he said that he wasn't jealous but it was just wierd. He said he still doesn't want to get back together & that he only loves me as a friend. I still love him but I didn't tell him because I want to atleast still be friends & I'm afraid if I tell him he will delete me from his life again. When he told me he didn't love me, he said I needed to move on with my life without him. He was the one who started contacting me again & wanting to hang out. I don't understand why he would be upset about me hanging with the other guys if he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. Is this just hopeful thinking on my part or does he really mean he isn't in love with me. We had a great realationship when we were together, but felt we may be moving in different directions in our lives. I am so confused

    38. Sarah A. says:

      Why are people are so bitter and hateful on this subject? (ITS NOT ABOUT YOU SO WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT!) That is so not true, it's about two people in a relationship and so forth. Two people who have to decide what they both want even after a breakup.

      I have to agree with the guy's decision though for deleting the girl on facebook. It does hurt when you break up and you realize you are not as close as you were when you were in a relationship. (I know because after my ex boyfriend broke up with me, I tried being friends with him at first but I couldn't do it because it hurt too much)

      But that doesn't make the girl immature either, she just wanted to at least stay as friends and have to the point where they can at least get along without any akward moments. That was actually really mature on her part, it's just he's not ready to be friends with her right now just like I am not ready to be friends with my ex boyfriend right now.

      So are either one of them the bad guy? No, it's just a relationship that didn't work out.

      1. rabbit says:

        if the relationship didnt work out why would a friendship. she makes a point none of her EXs want to remain friends, ask yourself why

    39. Sniney nose says:


      I was best friends with a man for 15 months and it developed into a relationship. But we moved a bit too fast and he freaked and broke up with me saying he didnt know what he wanted and needed time to to think,so I said ok but he kept talking as friends. However a couple of months later he said he didnt think he could have a relationship with me, but asked could we remain friends. I was and still am completely heartbroken. I told him it was too painful for me to remain friends and I deleted him from my facebook account. I tried not to answer texts from him. But then he phoned and told me he has cancer. I went to see him but he said even though it's only in one place, he's not getting any treatment and wants to die, he said he had nothing to live for. I was devastated and we both cried. I left saying I'd be his friend. However he would not accept my facebook request again so I delet3ed my account. since then I have been able to view his facebook page and notice at least 4 new women friends. Now he doesnt actually talk much to me, maybe once a week on the phone, where before when we were friends we'd talk every day. He just txts me goodnight with an X, and asks if I'm ok?

      I'm completely heartbroken, cant move on, and this is going to sound really awful but I have this terrible feeling that he is not sick at all. I feel dreadful for doubting him but he has lied before about things for attention. He's phoned me at least 5 times over the entire relationship saying he felt he didnt want to live.

      I have tried in the past to help him to get help. But now I need to heal. I dont know how to be his friend and still love him so much and deny my own feelings?

    40. Susan says:

      I was in a relationship for 5 years. My ex was the sweetest guy at the beginning (they always are). I was a very happy and confident girl at the time. Over time we got a place together blah blah blah…and he became a jerk. He would never stick up for me…and even though I was in school and working fulltime he would sit his lazy butt on the couch and just veg out watching tv. He worked too but he expected me to do all my things and then take care of him. Clean, cook, sex on demand. He was a selfish person. I broke up with him because after 5 years I saw our eeltionship going no where. His brother was very disrespectful to his wife and my ex thought this was okay treatement. I could see my future if I stayed on that path and it was depressing. But when I broke up with him I told him that I still wanted to be friends. He said he couldn't because it would be too painful. He deleted me on Facebook too. My question for guys is this…if you can't handle being someone's friend after they end it with you because you treated them badly, neglected them and their feelings then why wouldn't you change the way you are treating your girl to keep her before she goes? There are usigns when the girl has had enough…you can't card that much or else you would have treated her better before hanrd.

    41. Stacey Mackie says:

      Dear dude,

      Im 13 years old and got dumped not long ago and this girl asked him out and i wanted to be mates with him but he was always blocking me on msn. i dont know what to do now.

      please someone tell me how to get him back.

    42. ty f graham erby says:

      I'm hurting because Vee hates me and forever will. I wish I never hurted you and lied to you the way I have. I'm sorry. please forgive me.

    43. kacy P says:

      Hi, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and I tried to be friends with him since I'm going abroad soon. He refuses to be friends with me, ignores/avoids me everytime we see each other and I really don't understand why. He is the one who broke up with me and now says he needs time before being friends again ???

    44. bird says:

      We are in different continent. The guy I really loved broke off with me and told me he has a new girlfriend. I was heartbroken after over 5 months of talking about our future and business together. I couldn't accept the fact that he moved on. I felt painful. So I start to move on. Then after a month of not talking to him – he contacts me saying he missed me and hope we can talk every day like before.

      I still love him and thought I have hope. But recently he told me his GF is going to call me and told me to lie ( no skype for a long time). Then his girlfriend texted me when he was sleeping (she said in the text). I didn't response. I wrote him an email about this saying it is not very respectful and classy to sent me texts. He said it is normal for GFs contact friend like this. I felt being betrayed by him. It is his job to calm her, not me. I felt insulted also. Am I feeling wrong?

      I still love him since this hurts me. So I told him we should stop contact for a while since your GF is not happy about this. I also feel hurt by him because he didn't protect me. I finally realized I am just his friend. He loves his GF, not me. Of course he will throw me to her to let her hurt me. I was so blind even to be his friend.

      1. rabbit says:

        have some pride in yourself, stop feeding this piece of craps ego and go find someone who will love you the way you deserve x

    45. That guy says:

      The guy doesnt owe her ANYTHING. She dumped him. How can anyone say he owes her an explanation? A while ago my gf of 5 months broke up with me cause she was gonna go away to college and she couldnt handle not seeing me. she said she wanted to be friends. I wanted to be friends too. So 2 or 3 weeks after we breakup we hangout and its fine, no awkwardness or anything like that, we were laughing and joking and all that shit. then a few dayts later i start talking to her on msn and she says "you need to stop" basically saying she doesnt want to talk to me until i dont know when. and she deleted me off Facebook and msn. I didnt get any explanation. EVER. That's a situation where someone is owed an explanation, when the dumper who wants to be friends goes all flaky like that.

      1. rabbit says:

        its called the yo-yo. they dump you, they want you back then they dump you again and want you back again and that shit goes on until they find some one else or you get sick of being treated like that. its there was of a nice soft exit from a relationship its also selfish and nasty cos they dont give jack shit how you feel its all about them

    46. kumbah says:

      Its not that I dont think you can or cant be friends with an ex , I just think theres no point.

      Im 45 years old and cant understand why anyone would want to remain friends with an ex unless of course they secretly still carry a torch for them , because to be honest , theres no point , its too blah blah to even think about.

      My ex wife who I was with for 10 years and who Ive been divored from for 10 years and who I havent seen for over a year, (since my son has got his own place), is not even what I could class as a friend , but were civil with each other , we both have a mutual respect for each other and we have both got a past when we were once very close with each other, but we are not friends.

      People who say they are friends with their exs, are deluding themselves from the real reason why they keep in touch with their exs, in other words they havent moved on properly from them and keeping in touch with them , they probably never will.

      When I split up with a person, I go no contact straight away, I even have an ex that lives on the same street as me, she dumped me twice over, that was a tough one to get my head round because I fell very hard for her and looking back she strung me along, but im glad she did now, because when we got back together , it wasnt the same, Id moved on , so she dumped me again , the only thing that hurt then was a bit of pride, but I satyed away.

      Now im dating someone else and my ex still trys to talk to me, but im civil with her, but thats all, I wouldnt want to be her friend anymore because Im not inerested in her now.

      The first time she dumped me I remained friends with her , even when I was seeing someone else ,because I still liked her,this time , I dont feel a need to be frinds with her on that capacity.

      I also think that when you stay friends with an ex, someones ego is being fed, usually the peson that has done the dumping and lets be fair here, nobody in a seriuos relationship would dump anybody unless they have a back up plan, so why would you be friends with someone who has cheated on you ? Your just deluding yourself and still have feelings for that person, let it go, say "Hi", keep conversations short (sound busy)dont give them any more control , eventually you'l start to wonder what you ever saw in them , you'l be lucky to spare them time of day never mind playing "Happy families " for sentiments sake (The things that were and might of been)!

      I wish you all the very best on your journeys.

      1. rabbit says:

        i wish everyone on here could understand this, if you think being friends with someone who dumped just to stay in their life with a chance of getting back together, its not going to happen cos your giving them what they want for free without the emotional stuff and they can go off and play the field. Their safe in the knowledge your there as a comfortable standby when their lonely bored or want a cheap evening out like some sexless fag friend

    47. Sarah.L says:

      I believe in "live and let live" and also in "live and let die". If he treat you bad, then that's HIS problem. He'll have to live with it. You can't make someone love you, but you can be wiser in future. Try replacing thoughts of him.

    48. Sarah.L says:

      Lust is an evil thing. No wonder god warns us against it in the bible, like he does about stealing, jealousy, etc. Cos he knows those things only end up ruining our lives. He ain't wrong. lol. It's your thoughts that are making it worse.

    49. Sarah.L says:

      When i was 16, i managed to trick my mind into thinking i'd definitely end up marrying a certain crush. I didn't end up marrying him or even dating him. Just that i'd whipped up the idea in my head. If this helps in any way. xx

    50. Yetty says:

      same here GEE.

    51. […] Ask A Dude: My Ex Won’t Be My Friend. By: The Dude Comments: […]

    52. Linda says:

      Some of you are naive. ALL exes have a selfish agenda. They want to make themselves feel better by knowing that you are still around. Kick them all to the curb with no contact. That also means you do not respond if they call, email, or text, etc.

    53. […] he’s got a voice in all of this He has the right to say, “thank you but no thank you.” (Something we’ve talked about before.) If you meet up and he decides he still has issues undealt with, then leave him be. You can say […]

    54. Kelsey34 says:

      Though what he's saying is true, I think that the "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU SO WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!" bit is rude. Of course it's about her, just as much as it is about him. A relationship involves two people, so her wants are just as important as his, no more and no less. I think that it is possible for ex's to be friends as long as they really are over each other. That being said it may take a week, a month, or even a year for that to happen, but it is possible. My point is that you shouldn't assume that her intentions are selfish. Whatever they decide to do is their business, but it's wrong to say that what she wants doesn't matter.

      1. rabbit says:

        put it this way it don't matter what she wants with regard to the guy she dumped, its up to him if he wants to be friends, if his friendship was so important to her perhaps she could have worked harder at the relationship

    55. Lynn says:

      There was no answer there at all. Just more male double talk. Every guy, every sin single one I’ve every dated has never wanted to be my friend. It very sad in my opinion! WHY? I still don’t know. Sad fact about mens immaturity.

      1. rabbit says:

        maybe thats more to do with you then them, or put it this way your right and all of them are wrong

      2. Tony C says:

        Lynn, it doesn't make them immature. Just because they don't want to be friends or can't be friends. Break ups are rough enough and the thought about being around someone who hurt you emotionally makes it even harder. Whether you meant to hurt them emotionally or not the fact remains you cant erase the past and the past makes alot of guys feel akward hanging around an ex and it just brings about hurt.

    56. victor fabiyi says:

      Thank you all for this coversation you’ve had with each other. at least i now know what to do.

    57. mich says:

      Was seeing this guy for a month…..I knew he had strong feelings for me and I felt the same….then he stopped seeing me and I wanted to know why what went wrong…I’ve asked him several times if his feelings had changed but he told me he stil feels the same but scared of getting hurt…I gve him a choice ..told him then its best too move on and break all ties but he refused ….he then ask if we can be friends and I gve him reason why I can’t be friends with him….made him aware tht its not going to be easy for me knowing tht I stil feel for him…..he just refused to let me go…when I ask why does he stil want me in his life I ddnt gt a answer…..he was a bbm cntct so I’ve deleted him but he added me again….I told him tht I dnt wana be in or part of his life……I asK him to delete me from his bbm but he just ddnt want to do it……told him tht he was selfish and only thinking about himself…..I just wanted to forget about him coz he was gving me false hope…..I had to lie ….told him thtt I’m seeing some1 and he is holding me back ….onli then did he deleted me…………so personally I think he ddnt want me too move on or forgt about him

    58. Elisabeth says:

      Genius article, Dude. Comforting in its honest truth. Thanks…

    59. stuck says:

      so its been almost a year since i dumped him. breaking up was premature, but i didn't realize it right away because he stuck around and was my friend, so i didn't feel bad. i know now that that was his way of trying to get me back, but i wish he had broken ties then so i realized that i wanted him back, before it was too late. now it's too late and he doesn't want to be friends since i started dating another guy. i feel awful. i wish i could rewind. tell me how i feel the pain of the breakup a year after the fact, and while i have another boyfriend. it's not fair to the guy im with now for me to be depressed all the time, and i can't tell him whats wrong. he's so good to me and the guy i'm stuck on seems to be completely over me, so instead of trying to go back i want to try to move on and be happy with my man. but i can't. i'm so stuck. i guess the reason this is relevant to this feed it because my ex won't be my friend anymore and it's killing me and ruining my life and i shouldn't care. but i do!!! gahhh

      1. rabbit says:

        you could tell him how you feel
        my girl dumped me almost a year ago for someone else. at first like your man i tried being friends to try get her back. big big big mistake. she told me all the details of her new relationship at a time when each word seemed like a dagger in my heart and i believe she was enjoying the power trip. this went on for a few months till in the end to save my sanity i went NC found myself a new GF. the day i told her i was in a new relationship she went crazy jealous like it was me dumping her. i tried even then to be grown up a suggest we could be friendly but not friends because we still work together and she still tried the power trips and mood swings so now i just ignore her. i know she still has feelings for me as i do her but i did enough begging in the past, if she wants me back she is going to have to tell me because i have reached the point where i don't care anymore and can just walk away.

      2. rabbit says:

        well this is just to add what i have already said once you leave a relationship you do it only once then you live with what you did forever no going back, if your in pain then think of the pain he went through, i see my ex and i know she is hurting now her rebound guy can't be all that because she is not happy, im happy now with my new lady. i would have done anything for my ex, i would nver have hurt her the way she hurt me with a smug smile on her face and i admit that her pain now makes me feel good very good so if your stuck look at it as a learning stage so you never take for granted any one again and stop thinking only of yourself.

    60. annama says:

      Can anyone help me with my prob? We were friends before we dated n stuff. We went out for about 5 months and he broke up with me. He said he would talk to me and stuff. But I feel as if he won’t say anything to me or start a convo unless I say something first. For example I would write him first and after that convo says could go by with nothing said at all. I said I want to be friends on tuesday n he replied well talk/say something interesting. Was that selfish of me saying I want to be friends instead of let’s be friends? Should I just wait til he starts a convo with me or should I just crush this idea of being friends with him.

    61. Paula says:

      Is this a dream? If it is, then I do not want to wake up!!!! I love you and I will tell all my friends what miracles you have performed! I am your devoted follower now and will come back when I have future problems. Do you need his help? if yes contact him via:

    62. Dave Surath says:

      My ex hurt me and than claimed she being a good Catholic would pray for me every day.I asked her why hurt me in the first place?She said, she loved me as a friend,but never contacted me again.

    63. desmond says:

      my name is desmond from usa i have a huge testimony to share that i was in a relationship with this girl for over one year and suddenly she want us to breake up i spent days thinking of what to do for her to change her mind i have to contact a few spell casters but not knowing that they were scams i give up trying not untill a friend of mine recomend to me i decided to contact oghowmaspelltemple and now iam the happiest man on earth because my life is now for good i just dont know how to thank oghowmaspelltemple may god almighty grant you many more blessing THANK YOU VERY MUCH SIR

    64. Hobbit says:

      Hi everyone.. I have a tricky story and would like advice. I met a girl from the other side of the country, she ended up moving in with me 300 miles from her home, she left everything for me. We were in crazy love, traveled and had a good life over a year. We planned for our future and were so comfy with each other, we were best friends as well. She broke up with me after a year becos I made a mistake of seeing my ex ex (non sexual as she’s friend of family) when she went home to see family.. It’s the one thing she asked me not to do because we had big problems because of her in the past.. I see my ex ex in dec but my now ex never found out to march, she moved out local to me an decided to stay here and not move back to where she’s from..
      After the break we were still seeing each other constantly and things were good kinda like normal and she was undecided to get back with me or not.. We spend a few days together and it was amazing. Then the day after she just cut me off, no replies no explanation nothing, I know I don’t deserve anything because I really hurt her but I was so sorry and told her so.. I then went a bit crazy and constantly harassed her as I at least wanted closure and I admit I was woried she met someone because she moved into a flat share with ‘many men.. I acted crazy for a few days then eventually decided I should respect her and leave her a lone. She contacted me one night and said she loves me but I’m no good for her. She then wanted to be friends which was hard for me cos I love her so much so it didn’t work, she cancelled plans with me to go clubbing with all her male housemates..her and her friends and family deleted me of Facebook Now a month has passed and I miss her so much I want to be friends but she ignores me or sends my basic texts.. She won’t tell me any of the info I want to know like why all of a sudden did she stop seeing me or if she’s met someone because then it be the closure I need and can move on and give up the hope I have.. I want to b a friend with the hope of mayb proving myself and mayb one day getting her to fall back in love with me.. But she don’t want to be friends.

      Maybe she was lonely and scared when she first moved out that’s why she continued to see me.. Now it’s like she can’t remember the good times and actually hates me, she text me saying to leave her alone that she don’t love or miss me anymore which is killing me. It’s been two months since the break..

      I’d like advice on her mind set and her actions, why wouldn’t she want to give me closure or to be friends? How cud she love me one wk then not?

    65. Wilson says:

      If some one needs expert view about running a blog afterward i recommend him/her to visit this weblog, Keep

      up the good work.

      Here is my site click here

    66. Shayna says:

      I’m in all probability going to get a lot of loathe for saying this, but this beta for TSW seems to be so disappointing. TSW looked so promising a yr or so ago, and it truly experienced me ecstatic. However the far more plus much more gameplay I see, and especially these beta movies, the greater flat I truly feel generally speaking. I actually hope they will no less than make all the things sleeker previously kick off.

      my website: The Secret World Hack page

    67. annonymous says:

      If you want good advice then contact he will be happy to give you advice and tell you what needs to be done

    68. Sarah says:

      My ex wanted to be friends, just not FaceBook friends. We never talk or see eachother anyway. How is that Friendship?

    69. Mrs Leisha says:

      what a wonderful world we are living, i still doubt Lord Mazuka how he did it!!! My mouth is full of testimony, My name is Leisha my husband left the home for two years to Germany for a tourist,he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Lord Mazuka and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that he will help me to bring him back in just 12 hours.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in 12hours my husband called me, and told me that he will be comming back to me and started crying that i should for forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband.. Lord Mazuka is the best spell caster in the whole wild world. here is his email adress.

    70. Collins says:

      My Girl friend for 9 months left me and went back to her ex because i accuse her of seeing another man. I love her so much that i try every means to get her back because she is my joy and happiness but she refuse coming back. I was not myself for some months until i saw a post of a lady called Verita on how Dr Wicca cast a spell and within 48 hours and the results was outstanding and her ex is back in her arms. After been scam by lot of spell casters promising me false hope not knowing all they really wanted was my money.. I never believe but i love Sarah and i want her back so i ask verita to help me and and hope Dr. Prince will be able to help me get my Sarah back too.

      I want to express my warmest gratitude to Dr Wicca. I'll never ever forget all the happiness you gave me. I'm so happy today and am also thanking Verita for posting this early. Dr Wicca, you are truly a man of your word. I highly recommend Dr Wicca to you for whatever problem you are experiencing whether is love, money or psychic powers. He is powerful. You can contact him on or or his personal cell#+2348097350565.

      Collins Gordy……..Canada

    71. David Kent says:

      Yes I got my lover back through Dr Wicca.. My wife left me six months ago. The longer she’s gone, the more I see what a jerk I was. At first, I blamed her for leaving. I told her she was ‘wrong’. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger only pushed her farther away. I can’t believe the way I acted. My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her.

      I contacted Dr Wicca and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Dr Wicca was the one person whom I could completely trust.
      Within 48 hours, My wife is back in my life. I can't thank him enough and I will use Dr. Wicca again for further work in the future. You can contact him on his personal cell# +2348097350565.

      David Kent from USA.

    72. x says:

      Personally, it is not about both. If it was about both then there would not have been a break up in the first places. The one on the recieving end of the break up does not need to validate himself has to why he does not want to be friends. For those saying that not being friends or not giving a reason as to why you do not want to be friends “immature,” then you must a desperate person to cling to someone for self validation that you are the bigger and mature individual. There is nothing mature about that, that is flat out selfish to think you deserve to keep his presences while you find someone else to gloat about. When i was dumped, i cut them off from all contact. To be frank, i didnt owe them not one god damn thing now did i want them to owe me nothing. The relationship ended and clinging is weakness of the will to move on.

      Now if the couple have a mutual break up due to something out of their control then yes i believe a friendship could be salvaged. Other than that, friendships after a none mutual break up are for the weak. Am i mad? Yes and i admit it bit that does not mean i should bow down to someone just to validate my joy when i have my own goals and ambitions to help me get over the break up.To future ne sayers or the butt hurt opposition. Grow some balls or overies and kick the person to the curb that dare to utter the word friendship within the same line as break up.

    73. Margret says:

      Great okpa!!! thank you very much i dont know how to thank you sir, you are really great, i never taught that Ramsey could come back to me after living me for good 2years without notice, i have been looking for how to get him back to my life.last week i went to visit a friend in Texas and this friend of mine knew about the relationship between me and Ramsey and she asked me about him, then i filled more pain and tears fell from my eyes, that was when she asked me why am i crying then i told her about everything,she now told me about dr okpa that she always hear about him here in Texas and she normally see some people giving testimony in how he helped them in getting back their loves, that when ever such programs up again that she will try and collect his number and his email address, that when she collect it she will text me his email, then in the next 2 days she called me and told me that she has collected his email address and his phone number then she text-ed them to me,so i called him and told him about everything how my love Ramsey left me, then he told me not to worry that he will come back to me within 24hours at first i said how could that happen that somebody who left me for 2years will just come back within 24hours but at the same time a taught came to me that if the people could talk about this man on television that means he is great so let me watch and see, that was how i waited, in the next 24hours which he told i got a call from Ramsey i was so surprised he was pleading and begging me to forgive him that he did not know what came over him, i was so so surprised because i t was like a dream,in the next 3hours after Ramsey called, Ramsey came to my house and start pleading for forgiveness, so that was how we started again and we are living happily than ever after,the most surprising thing was that he gave me access to his account to prove that he will never live me for any reason and am so happy now.Thanks be to clara my friend who introduced me to okpa,clara thank you evry much, and thanks be to dr okpa for helping me, in case you want his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him via or cell number +2348056563186

      Margret from San Jose. ca, usa

    74. Roland says:

      Am short of words i don't know were to start from in giving this testimony, first of all my name is Roland am from USA i want to testify the great thing Dr okpa did for me i never taught i could get Miranky back to my life after she left me for 2years despite i was the one who did her wrong, Miranky was the love of my life and which she still is, and which she will always be till death do both of us apart,i hurted her so much to the extend that i drove her out of my house just because i was dating this so called kayshun who is a devil, Kayshun messed my life up, i never taught i could be happy again then that was how i now realized that Miranky is the best among all ladies when i was with her things were going right the way i want it but i foolishly chased her away, after the encounter between me and Kayshun, then i now have to look for Miranky because i believe she is the only one who is been destined to be mine i called her for months pleading and begging her to forgive me that i did not know what came over me. i pleaded with her for good 8 months after the breakup between me and her which i caused in 2years but she decided not to accept me but i know she was right but am willing to stay with her love her and promise not to hurt her for any reason, but she did not understand so i have been trying to get her back to my life, but there has been no way to do this.there was a day when i was watching television, then i saw a man named Harry giving testimony to the world on how dr okpa brought back his wife with 2kids, then when i heard this i was so surprised then i decided to contact dr okpa to see if he can help me. when i contacted him he told me not to worry that she will surely come back to me in the next 24 hours, so that was how i waited to see what will happen, the next morning surprisingly i got a call from her she was crying and telling me that she was sorry for not accepting me on time, i was so surprised, so that was how i got Miranky back to my life and now we are living happily than ever before. Dr okpa i thank you so much if not for you what would i have done, sir you are great, if you want dr okpa to help you like as he has helped me you can contact him Via or cell number +2348056563186.

    75. Lucia Tan says:

      I would like to thank Dr. okosovo for breaking the dark spell from my ex boyfriend. When we broke up, he fell into the hands of a woman and he stayed over at her place, drink a lot and even picked up smoking which became excessive. I was always worried and had a lot of doubts. I told Dr. okosovo everything and he never fails to reply my emails. Sometimes, he would call and check up on me. He is very patient and encourages me every time I cry. Now my ex boyfriend doesn't stay over at her place and had quit drinking and the good news is that he is back. If you need help, just email Dr. okosovo at I am sure he will find ways to help you out! Lucia Tan, USA

    76. lee kima says:

      My Name is Lee Kima, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.USMAN KERIM has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email( then you won't believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.USMAN KERIM for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

      1) If you want your ex back.
      (2) if you always have bad dreams.
      (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
      (4) You want women/men to run after you.
      (5) If you want a child.
      (6) You want to be rich.
      (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
      yours forever.
      (8) If you need financial assistance.
      (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
      (10)Stop Divorce

      Mobile number…+2348057756157


    77. Gloria says:

      My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me,i cry all day blc of the love i have for him, one day i was online i and came across Mrs jenni sharing on how a spell caster helped her to build her marriage and they are living happily, so i email the spell caster called Dr Omozokpia ( and explain every thing that happened to him and he promise to help me return me husband in just 3 days and he also promise after the love spell he is going to love and cherish only me forever. To my greatest surprise everything go as he said and i also promise Dr i will also share his testimony online you can reach him at (

    78. meg says:

      My name is miss MEG from UNITED STATE i was heart broken when my lover dumped me for another girl, i was really in love with him without him i was empty until i contacted DR OKOASE for a love binding spell, he cast a spell for me to get my lover back and my lover came back after 2days when he cast the spell i will advise any one in any kind of problem to contact DR OKOASE for any kind of spell on his email:

    • You Might Like