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Sexy Time: Let’s Talk About Porn

When I walked into my apartment yesterday and saw the television, at first glace I was positive that my roommate was watching porn. There were scantily clad bodies everywhere, dry humping, (barely) clothed crotch-shots and some close-ups of faces that were taken by pleasure. I stood in my doorway shocked and confused – porn on the living room TV in mid-daylight when I’m expected home? — but after a moment of clarity, I realized that what was on TV wasn’t porn – it was MTV.

We’re adults, and if we want to watch other people have sex – or be filmed while having sex; that’s our decision to make.  The real problems come from naughty videos on TV that are borderline pornographic and available to children. I don’t want my niece and nephew to see Miley Cyrus gyrating up against random dudes in booty shorts after getting out of a cage, and I don’t want them seeing close-ups of Lady GaGa’s crotch. The FCC is overly concerned with swearing, or Janet Jackson’s boob – but seem to have no problem overlooking dry humping on mainstream TV. There is a very distinctive difference between nudity and pornography.

Pornography is sexual, nudity is natural.

I am not anti-pornography, but pornography and pornographic images are for adult, not for children. I’ve learned a lot from porn, and I’ve had a lot of very drunken nights where porn was thrown on the ol’ laptop and hilarity ensued. I think that access to pornography – for adults, by adults – is something that should continue to be available to those who wish to consume it. While it should be regulated – actors should be tested weekly for STIs, sets should be monitored (as with any other production) to make sure that the actors are safe and acting on their own volition, and everyone involved needs to be 18+, but the notion that porn should be banned is kind of ridiculous. As with any other sex act, if it’s safe, sane, and consensual (and legal), I say go for it.

Many anti-porn groups rally that the women in these videos are being exploited. As a woman myself, I understand the basic concept of this, I always get hung-up on the fact that not only are the women consenting (in any kind of reputable video), but also that if we’re going to go along with the claim that women are being exploited, I think we must also accept that the men in these films are being exploited as well – it takes two to tango, remember? What happened to equality? The fact that it’s exploitive is what makes it so appealing – both for the people producing and for those consuming the material.

It’s also argued that pornography skews a teenager’s view of sex. While partially true, I like to think that most people who are watching porn realize that it’s entertainment and not exactly true-to-life. It’s like a person going to the hospital and expecting to be treated by Dr. House. Sure, there is a chance that pornography might make sex seem to be more of a wild and crazy adventure than it actually is, but most people will realize by the time they actually have intercourse that real sex is not like in the movies.

Pornography can be a good thing. But it’s only a good thing when it’s being viewed by educated adults – not my children who don’t know any better. (Note: I don’t actually have any children…thank god. I was just trying to make a point) The balance is screwed up in our society. We crack down on adults who choose to consume dirty videos, but make no effort to crack down on dirty videos that are in the realm of children. I’ll watch as much porn as I want, but never again do I want to walk into my apartment to find a half-naked Miley Cyrus on my television; that’s just wrong.

How do you feel about porn?

[Sidenote: I didn’t mention child pornography or people being forced into doing movies because those are not fair representations of the porn industry; those are violent crimes.]

    Comments

    Comments

    1. The Raisin Girl says:

      One could argue that women are being exploited more than men, since the focus of most straight and lesbian pornography is on the female and not the male. There is also extensive pornography available of women alone, but I have yet to see the same with men alone. Also, one could argue that the way women are portrayed in mainstream pornography is more exploitative than the way men are portrayed: submissive, always horny, vulnerable, etc.

      Of course, then you get right back to the issue: they are consenting to do this. There are even some porn producers that have women volunteer to do the videos for the thrill of it. I understand that the "legitimate" porn industry in some ways makes way for illegitimate pornography (non-consensual participation, child pornography), but I don't think that banning all porn will solve the issue.

    2. Kelsey says:

      I agree with this post 100%.

      Also, Raisin Girl, I agree with you. I used to get so upset over the way women were portrayed in porn saying it demeaned us etc. However, as much as I may not agree with those girls' choices, isn't the whole point of women's rights protecting their right to do with their body what they want, even if I may not agree with it.

    3. Lisa says:

      I agree with this post, and on the same note, the posters above me. I also think that, if someone does try to "ban porn," it would just end up like Prohibition. Sure, alcohol has bad qualities too (and honestly moreso: porn doesn't kill people) but it's just part of society. You can't really bee rid of it. And as I said, it's not really hurting anyone.

      However, I do agree that what's on TV is almost as bad as full-blown porno. At least porn is kind of funny sometimes. TV just makes it all seem natural to kids, who then want to run out and try it for themselves. (I know that I didn't say this too eloquently, but I hope I got my point across.)

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    5. Alison says:

      Miley Cyrus should be banned from dry humping men onstage while half naked. On public TV anyway. I mean, kids look up to Hannah Montana!!!

      Otherwise this post is spot on!

    6. manonymous says:

      The only reason people say things like "pornography skews teens' views on sex" is because the actual sexual education they get is fuckin' awful

    7. Kevin Kerlyn says:

      I think the main concern about pornography is that, as in prostitution, it is not always as consensual as we might think. There have been several informative documentaries about women who have been forced into prostitution: Sex Slaves in America, Sex Slaves in the Suburbs, and Sex Slaves- The Teen Trade. While that's not always the case with pornography,those documentaries have made me realize that it's quite likely the women we see on the screen have been coerced, tricked or just plain forced to do what we see.

    8. Mark says:

      Another woman whining and complaining about people being half-dressed on TV and blah, blah, blah. No one cares. You have to face the fact that sex sells and it will for a long time, there's no getting around it. If you don't want the younger members of your family to watch the Real World or a Lady Gaga music video then keep your channels set to Nick Jr. and Playhouse Disney and shut up about it. Just because you don't like certain things celebrities do doesn't mean they're gonna stop, it's there life and they can choose how to live it.

    9. luke says:

      hey who wants to go out with me anybody

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    11. Richard says:

      It's refreshing to read this article by a woman. I agree with it 100%. I am so annoyed with the anti-porn people, I spend a lot of time defending porn at our website, The Good Sex Network, at http://goodsexnetwork.com/archives/category/opini….

      I'd like to make an additional point regarding Raisin Girl's statement about exploitation. Yes, women may be portrayed as submissive and enjoying being objectified, but this is part of the nature of the sexual experience. My girlfriend really liked it when I "took" her. I explain this in greater detail here (http://goodsexnetwork.com/archives/2008/08/porn-is-degrading-yes/).

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