Duke It Out: Online Dating

July 16, 2010 9:00 am     Posted in Reality, Relationships  Lauren H - The New School g+ page

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like whether he can change! ) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]


By Lauren H

Since you’re currently on a website reading this, it’s probably a little redundant to say how much of our lives take place online nowadays. Suffice to say that except for the eating, breathing and sleeping parts, almost everything else you do can be done on the Internet, including meeting that special someone… or that’s what the commercials say anyway. But is online dating, especially at our age, really a good idea?

On one side, we’re the tech generation – why should we be stuck with using the same bar hopping/meeting someone in class/dreaded blind date set up that our parents and grandparents used for finding a date? With online dating you have the chance to actually decide if you’re interested in somebody based on something other than the “is he insanely hot or have I had too many tequila shots” method. You can look at a person’s interests, see bits of their personality, sometimes even find out what they’re looking for in a relationship so you can avoid that awkward talk later when you find out that he wants to be married before he’s 25 (run!). That would sure as hell save a lot of head- and heartache. With online dating you don’t have to rely on the right person being in the right place at the right time; you find each other at your own convenience. Plus, many online services now have matching software so they can you search beyond the surface to find things that you might like in someone.

It’s like a made-to-order BF! Right??…

But there is still something to be said for the old fashioned method – something that goes way beyond nostalgia. Sure, being able to pick out a guy who shares all of your interests sounds cool, but it can also be both limiting and misleading. Some of the best relationships I know are between people who are so not one another’s “type” and might not seem very similar, and yet the balance each other out. There’s also that little problem of chemistry. Most of us have had a pal in the past who is a great other half – you get along great, you make each other happy, but for whatever reason there’s no sexual chemistry. Picking out someone online means weeding out things you think you don’t like about people, but you might, in the real world, develop a taste for. It’s like surviving only on burgers (who hasn’t been there) – sure, you know you’ll always like the taste, but you’ll never take a chance on discovering something new and delicious that you never thought you’d like. And even though over 20 million people use online dating sites, I don’t actually know anyone under the age of 40 who has ended up in a relationship because of one.

Are you an online dater? Did you find someone special on the interwebs? Do you think it’s a great way of meeting new people? Or is it not worth the effort of finding that perfect profile picture? Duke it out!

17 Comments on "Duke It Out: Online Dating"

  1. Gerald says:
    Fri, 16th Jul 20104:48 am 

    Which are the risks in Dating and what are its Dating causes??

  2. Nix says:
    Fri, 16th Jul 20109:15 am 

    I use okcupid and in the month or two my results have been: three guys I wasn't into, two guys that would be good friends and one man I really want to jump. It is odd how you know more than you would otherwise going into things but, it's often a good ice breaker. My big thing is meet in person after only a couple messages (don't drag it out) get coffee or see an art gallery if you're daring. Dinner/lunch = bad. I've had on dinner which was awkward and one lunch that was okay, but it was harder to keep the flow of conversation whilst eating.

    And a lot of times guys don't really put all of what they're looking for. I went out with a sexy European who really wants a woman who can cook with olive oil (which I do) and take time to make meals (which I don't have). I'm not that level of domestic, I'll stick to ambitious.

  3. Lauren - University says:
    Fri, 16th Jul 201011:07 am 

    I think online dating works for some people, but it's not the best way to go about things. It's hard not to write someone off immediately based on what they say in their profile, when really that might not be such a central thing in their lives/something you would even care about if you met them in person. Plus, there's a huge stigma attached to online dating when you're this young. I've tried it and I feel like the only guys who go on it are the really weird ones who can't get agirl in real life. Maybe that's just me, though.

  4. Stephanie says:
    Fri, 16th Jul 201012:42 pm 

    I think it just depends how picky you are.I joined a FREE online dating site and kept getting messages from weirdos who I never responded to. Then, out of the blue, this amazing guy sent me a detailed but not dragging message about himself with no pressure to respond. I responded the same way and a few messages later we were texting. We've now been dating for over 6 months and I couldn't have been happier. I never would have bumped into him at school and we were both just sick of the conventional "go to clubs, meet through friends/class/library" form of dating and it wasn't getting us anywhere.

    Sure, it's not for everyone but it's not something you should write off right away

  5. P. says:
    Fri, 16th Jul 20106:46 pm 

    I have been on okcupid, too. I've been on one date that was nice but felt friendly only, one that was a disaster (not that he realized that) and a dinner date that actually led to a second date, but I realized the chemistry wasn't there. Agree with the above, meet relatively quickly, otherwise the endless messaging starts to mess with your feelings. It's easy to like someone through a message when they've had time to draft an e-mail, not so much in person.

  6. N says:
    Sat, 17th Jul 201010:00 am 

    The only things I've found on okcupid were guys who wanted random hook ups, or the guys who couldn't find someone in real life. The most interesting thing I found was a guy I graduated high school with who was one of the quietest guys in our class, and part of both choir and glee club… he ended up being into BDSM. SO unexpected!

  7. Jennifer says:
    Sun, 18th Jul 20101:56 pm 

    I've been trying online dating lately and I have to agree with your comments on the old fashioned method. I find most of the suggestions I get, and most of the people who send me messages are very similar to me, interest wise, mentality wise etc. And I would really like to find someone who balances me out, not someone who never gain any new interests, or life views from because we started out on the same page.

  8. Ace says:
    Mon, 19th Jul 201010:00 am 

    I met the guy I'm currently dating on OKcupid. It's the only online dating date I've been on. I'm not sure we're soul mates or if I would even get up the nerve to do it again. However, it's been a month and we're still dating and excited about it and he's a really great guy. That said, I would much prefer to answer how did you meet with a good story rather than mumbling online. Too vain?

  9. Jess says:
    Tue, 20th Jul 20104:25 am 

    At the beginning of the year I decided to give online dating a go for a bit of fun. I didn't expect anything to come of it. As the year went on my work and study loads became heavier, so I decided to stop visiting the online dating site, but not before I emailed one last guy.

    We've now been dating for three months and are getting fairly serious. I've never been with anyone to who I am so perfectly matched – it's crazy how much we have in common, everything from small stuff like favourite movies to big stuff like personal ethics. We also complement each other in very good ways.

    So to anyone considering giving it a go, I say go for it! Even if you don't meet your dream guy, it can be useful for working out what you do and don't want from the dating scene.

  10. 36316 says:
    Wed, 21st Jul 20102:33 am 

    U.R.L:

    (==tinyurl.com/2a39ok8== )

    y o u c a n f i n d m a n y c h e a p a n d f a s h i o n g o o d s

    y o u m u s t no t m i s s it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. thehatingexpert says:
    Wed, 21st Jul 201010:35 am 

    http://thehatingexpert.wordpress.com/2010/03/04/n…

  12. MelodicBrush says:
    Thu, 22nd Jul 201012:44 am 

    Id only trust an online dating site if within their profile they have certified doctor approved HIV/STD/Blood test results that has been validated atleast once a month for every member.

  13. Cb says:
    Fri, 23rd Jul 20101:50 pm 

    My boyfriend and I met on Match.com almost 2 years ago. Yes, it is unusual since we're both in college and we came up with a cover for how we met. But we are both so happy and confident in our relationship, in part because we became wonderful friends before we even started dating through talking online.

  14. singlesnet says:
    Fri, 30th Jul 201010:54 pm 

    I have met a few single women online. It is just like meeting someone at a club or in public as long as you post recent photos and there are no suprises

  15. ep says:
    Fri, 3rd Sep 20103:25 am 

    http://superdating.eu

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