Why All The Miley Cyrus Hatred, Peeps?

Saturday Read: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark HaddonSaturday Read: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon
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The days are long gone when Miley Cyrus swung her abnormally thick blond tresses all over her bedazzled bright jackets in Disney’s, Hannah Montana. I can almost hear her nasally, trumpeting laugh in the background as my (always loyal to every showing of the sitcom) lil’ sis watched it mid-afternoon, hooting and hollering in between bites of Gushers.

Miley’s innocent conversations with guitar strumming Billy Rae Cyrus are long shadowed by a dark chasm of tight bodices and bird feathers we know as Miley Cyrus now. It’s momentarily saddening – she was so innocent and sweet – until you realize that Miley was destined to enter Britney-ville sooner or later.  That juicy, sweet southern accent and Disney-infested resume was too much to pass up.

Regardless, her sudden hankering to flounder in a sea of sluttiness hasn’t taken me over the edge quite yet.  Amongst the only 22-year-old to admit it, I love listening to her (Ke$ha-esque sounding) new CD while pre-gaming and I won’t change the channel after snorting out my intestines in disgust at her abundance of ripped clothing. (Honestly, what’s with all the tears, girlfriend?)

Like everybody else does.

Seriously.  I have not seen so much distaste for any human being since people encountered the individual that told them the Tooth Fairy was their daddy.  Has anybody else noticed how much crude, angry mob-style hatred people feel deep inside their souls for this girl??

I mean, I understand she is a “role model” and should probably find some patches and her Grandmother to mend some of her clothing choices… and maybe stay away from those camel-toe bearing ensembles….but the energy invested in expressing disliking for Miley Cyrus has the strength to move a mountain range.  And it’s annoying.

It comes from people of all ages and sizes.  My sister (15-years-old) hates her so much she spews spit all over the table at dinner when she exclaims, “Miley is a big slut and I don’t like her.” It’s as if she couldn’t get out the words fast enough because she fears her high school posse is going to show up in our kitchen and shun her for life because she (almost) liked Miley Cyrus.  But she’s not the only one. My college girlfriends can’t pass up a moment to chime into a heated conversation about what an awful role model she is and “she should be ashamed of herself,” and “she looks like a skank” and blah, blah, blah.

Stop it, people! Seriously, it’s ridonkulous.

Let’s all simmer down, OK? Simmer down now. I’m here to invite you all to bring all the ‘Miley-Hatred’ down a few levels. I don’t know what this girl did to be so polarizing anyway. Grew up a little bit? Wanted to feel sexy? Wrote the best song of all time? Isn’t that something we all do (well, besides the whole Party in the USA part). Why is it so bad when she does it? People grow up, it’s part of life, so why can’t Miley? Wouldn’t it be a wee bit creepy if she was still sporting that blonde wig and doing her show on the Disney channel when she hit 40?

And seriously people, why don’t we all stop investing so much time and energy into hating Miley and use it for some more positive things, like saving the rain forests or trying to sweep Liam Hemsworth right off his feet and out of Miley Cyrus’ new sex-chamber pad.  Or go adopt a shelter puppy and tell him how much you hate Miley and how she should put some clothes on.

Actually, don’t do that. Puppies don’t deserve that.

Really, though, just leave Miley alone [says the crying girl from under her sheets]. Just like Billy Ray’s facial hair, the Miley-bashing is getting old and it’s really not attractive.

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