Tuffy Luv: Just Say No To Dormcest

By Sara

Question for La Tuff? Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for a chance to be featured in this column.

Dear Tuffy,

Okay so I have a dilemma and I have been offered a LOT of advice on it but none of it seems to be the right fit for me. Maybe you can offer some third party advice that is more direct. There is a boy I currently like. Problems:

1) He just got out of a long term relationship. Attempting to make a move now would just be pointless as he probably isn’t looking to jump into another relationship.
2) He lived in my dorm last year and we’re both back in the same dorm now. Dormcest: Yay or Nay?
3) We are good friends. – I fear I am in the friend zone.
4) I am lazy/shy. I want him to make the first move but I think if I wait to long he might find someone else.

Any advice you can offer would be great.

-Help

Dear Help,

I am so glad you asked about this because this is a question near and dear to my poor twisted heart.

Sit back and let ol’ Tuffy tell you a tale:

Once upon a time, there was a college girl named…Fluffy. Fluffy was awesome in every way, but, sadly, there was one boy in particular that Fluffy had her eye on who didn’t seem to notice. This boy was similarly awesome but he lived in the same dorm as Fluffy.

In fact, she spent a lot of time in his room…listening to him talk about how much he missed his ex-girlfriend. One night, Fluffy finally got sick of his bitching and told him she had a thing for him. It worked! They got together! And then they broke up because it turned out he was really lame.

And then life sucked for Fluffy because she had to see him all the time because they lived in the same dorm. The end.

The moral of the story is, it is not wise to start dating someone within your dorm unless you are supersure it will be okay when he starts to suck. I mean, I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re really in love with him, you should go for it, but if you just kind of like him, I would suggest casting a wider net because that fishy is gonna start to stank.

Especially since he’s your friend. Because that likely means you have friends in common who hang out together with the two of you in your dorm. And that has all kinds of post-Apocalyptic George Romero type disaster written all over it.

As for his having just got out of a long-term relationship…I don’t think that should be much of a problem. If you do decide to make your move (and honey, I really am cautioning against it unless you think he’s the next great love of your life [in which case, go for it {but seriously, that's far-fetched}]), you’ll be able to tell right away if he’s ready to move on.

If, for instance, he’s talking about her all the time…probably not ready. If, on the other hand, he’s not…well, that’s good. …Eck. Sorry. Tuffy’s tired. The point is, cross that bridge when you come to it.

Good luck.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

P.S. I am skipping part 4 of your question because, girl, ain’t no such thing as lazy love!