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Friday Faves: 5 Barely Legal Disney Hearthrobs I Want to Freak

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You know how every once in a while, nothing is on TV, and you’re super bored, and maybe it’s a Friday night and you have no plans, and instead of doing something productive like reading you flip around on your remote and end up watching the Disney Channel? Yeah. Don’t deny.

There’s nothing wrong with a little mindless television for kids, but what happens when you find yourself inexplicably drawn to those fresh-faced young men chirping out that positive and life-affirming Disney dialogue? You feel weird and a little dirty — and then you go online and try to find pictures. Also, any info that would allow you to stop feeling like a pedophile: i.e birthdays before 1991.

Even though all of the nubile young things listed below have all surpassed their 18th year, I can’t help but feel just the slightest bit Creepy-Old-Man-On-The-Bus whenever I look at them. Oh well. What can I say? If there are shirtless pics of these hotties somewhere on the net, I’d look at them.

I might even download.

5) Joe Jonas (Age: 19)

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I know what you’re thinking: he’s probably gay. And even if he’s not gay, he’s got that whole promise ring thing going on. But I mean, forbidden fruit is always the best kind, and his hair is just luscious. Seriously. How did he get such smooth, beautiful locks? Even though I was in first grade before he was even born, I wouldn’t mind running my fingers through that perfectly styled ‘do while listening to teeny-bop songs that are really about Jesus.

4) Corbin Bleu (Age: 19)

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I’ve never seen High School Musical or any of its spawn, but whenever commercials or promos pop up about it I can’t help but notice this cutie and his megawatt smile. If there’s anything I dig, it’s a giant smile — plus, I hear he dances and plays basketball at the same time (coordinated!). Also, props to him for acting along side Zac Efron and not bursting into hysterics whenever Efron does something manly.

3) David Henrie (Age: 19)

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I guess he’s on a show called Wizards of Waverly Place. I’ve never seen it, but when I typed in “disney hotties” into Google his name came up. Google is right (as always) — boy IS pretty hot, and he’s got gorgeous eyes. His IMDB profile says he’s close with his family, which is great because if we ever get married I need a husband who has a good bond with the fam.

2) Josh Peck (Age: 22)

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Honestly, I had no idea who Josh Peck was until I watched a bootleg copy of The Wackness a few weeks back. The movie was pretty good, and Peck was A) great in it and B) naked a few times. I see good things ahead for this chubby kiddie star turned hot serious actor, and we already know he’s cool with nude scenes. Score.

1) Ricky Ullman (Age: 22)

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I happen to adore guys with thick black hair who have crazy names (Ricky’s real name is Raviv), and ever since I saw some random episode of a show called Phil of the Future I’ve been just the tiniest bit obsessed with this kid. I don’t know anything about him, but I don’ t need to. He’s hot. It’s obvious. End of story.

[Have I missed any? Don’t worry, you won’t get arrested…]

    Comments

    Comments

    1. laura says:

      josh peck was on nick!

    2. Britt says:

      OH MY GOD

      this just hit on ever single disney/teeny-bopper boy i've ever obsessed over. Except I was never Joe fan, I was a Shia LeBeouf as Louis Stevens fan. hahaha.

    3. natty says:

      my little sister went to school with that david henrie kid so it's hard to see him as "hot"…also, when i was younger, corbin (what he went by then…) and i went to the same dance school and were in a couple of the same dances together for our recitals. how did he get to do high school musical and i'm stuck behind a desk job?!? ha!

    4. Steph says:

      Joe is going to be 21 in 2 weeks, he's not 19.

    5. chelsea says:

      i totally thought that josh was on nickelodeon. drake and josh is like a guilty pleasure. haha

    6. Jennifer says:

      Joe Jonas is almost 21, Corbin Bleu is 21, same with David Henrie. Josh Peck is almost 24, and Ricky Ullman is 24.

      They're not so young anymore.

    7. Tammy says:

      I don't care what network Josh peck was on, I'd still do the unforgivable.

    8. Amie says:

      I'm so excited that Ricky Ullman was #1. He's so great!

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