The Weekly Ten: Movies I WON’T Be Seeing This Summer

August 2, 2010 9:00 am     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa  Melanie - Northeastern University g+ page

Who doesn’t love a good summer blockbuster? On those dreary, rainy summer days, sometimes all you want to do is head to your local movie theater with some friends (or the bf) and shove popcorn in your face while Leonardo DiCaprio confuses you entertains you for 2.5 hours.


By Melanie

However, along with the blockbusters, there are some serious summer blockBUSTS. Here are the trainwrecks I won’t be shelling out twelve dollars to see.

10. Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Really? If the creepy pun on “Pussy Galore” wasn’t enough to terrify me, the mere prospect of talking cats is enough to give me nightmares until December. I like my dogs to woof and cats to be a mysterious part of my Chinese food.

9. Charlie St. Cloud
Enough with these commercials. Why is Zac Efron (aka Disney’s version of Chase Crawford) talking to dead people? Shouldn’t he be singing and dancing in some made-for-TV movie and prancing around with his new teeth and his girlfriend who loves to sext? Terrible. F.

8. Eclipse
I have no words for how much I despise this franchise and everyone who fawns over it. I understand that Twihardation is a disease. Seek help immediately if suffering from the illness and read a decent book or watch a classic film.

7. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Nicolas Cage is in it. And he’s wearing a toupee. PASS.

6. Step Up 3D
Tell me, how is dancing enhanced by the 3D experience? Oh wait, who’s even IN these movies? There’s actually been three of them? Someone help.

5. Lottery Ticket
Bow Wow (no longer with the “Lil”) wins the lottery while living in the projects. T-Pain and Ice Cube make cameos. I really can’t go any further into this without being offensive for simply regurgitating what the trailer depicts. Make your own commentary and watch it here.

4. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Michael Cera is awkward. And the earth revolves around the sun. Whoopdedoo.

3. Grown Ups
Dear Adam Sandler,
I want my money back from “Funny People” and I refuse to see any of your movies until you refund me.

PS: Kevin James, that also goes for you and any episodes of “King of Queens” I may have accidentally watched. I will never get those 30 minutes back. Shame on you.

2. Ramona and Beezus
I read every single Beverly Cleary book when I was younger and I refuse to watch some low-budget Disney kid ruin my life even further than they did when I was forced to watch and episode of “Zac and Cody” with the children I babysit. Stick to the angsty songs, Gomez. Lay off my children’s literature.

1. The Last Airbender
What does that even mean?? I try to avoid movies that have an 8% on RottenTomatoes.Com. Wow. How do you go from “The Sixth Sense” to having 0 credibility? How’s that for a twist, M. Knight Shyamalan?

33 Comments on "The Weekly Ten: Movies I WON’T Be Seeing This Summer"

  1. Madeline says:
    Mon, 2nd Aug 20105:17 am 

    I couldn't agree any more.

  2. Linda says:
    Mon, 2nd Aug 20105:20 am 

    Saw The Last Airbender because the series is actually good..the movie, however was shitty beyond belief.

    & I kinda want to see Step Up 3D for some ridiculous reason…

    But I agree with every single other movie on here…and for the same reasons loll.. loved this.

  3. Katie says:
    Mon, 2nd Aug 20107:28 am 

    I agree with you on most of this, but Zac Efron is getting surprisingly good reviews for Charlie St. Cloud. The movie itself looks to be of dubious quality, but based on his performance in 17 Again, Zac Efron is much better than the High School Musical crap.

  4. Lauren - University says:
    Mon, 2nd Aug 20108:01 am 

    Uh, if Channing Tatum was still in Step Up, I would FOR SURE see it in 3d. That's all I'm saying.

  5. Beth says:
    Mon, 2nd Aug 20102:29 pm 

    I agree with most, but Scott Pilgrim should be amaaaazing–the comic series it's based off of is absolutely fantastic and hysterical. I don't know how I feel about Michael Cera in it…but I don't care. I'm excited :)

  6. Lilliain says:
    Tue, 3rd Aug 20107:47 am 

    Hey…I liked King of Queens!!

    All of these movies look terrible though.

  7. shari says:
    Tue, 3rd Aug 20105:14 pm 

    i'm sooo glad someone else hates twilight as much as i do!! :)

  8. katie says:
    Wed, 4th Aug 20107:34 pm 

    sounds like you won't be seeing any movies this summer…

  9. Ness - Sheridan says:
    Fri, 6th Aug 20105:39 pm 

    Woah, don't hate on Funny People!

  10. AC says:
    Fri, 6th Aug 20106:33 pm 

    I will see Ramona and Beezus only because I adored the books, but I'm not expecting much. Surprisingly, I agree on the rest.

    Michael Cera is an asshat. After suffering through "Youth in Revolt" and "Juno", I am ever so gracious that I never took the time to see "Superbad". His movies are all the same… awkward as hell, I can expect nothing less from this one (pity if it is based off of a great series as Beth above claims).

    Twilight and the rest of the vampire craze should die, ironically.

  11. Kali says:
    Sat, 7th Aug 20106:38 pm 

    hahahahahahaha i say asshat too..

  12. Jason says:
    Mon, 9th Aug 20106:55 pm 

    I totally second your opinion. Mostly…

    PLEASE see Scott Pilgrim before you denounce it! I'm not going say anything about Michael Cera (other than I'm STARTING to warm up to the fact that he's in this movie), but I will say that I trust the director, Edgar Wright. With my LIFE.

  13. Tori says:
    Mon, 16th Aug 20107:16 am 

    I don't care what you say, awkward men are cute and kinda a turn on. Scott Pilgram blew me away.

    I loved the tv series of "Avatar: The Last Airbender." It was so good my whole family watched it. however, the movie stank like a hooker on a hot day.

    Totally agree with everything else though. This summer has some of THE worst movies I could ever imagine.

  14. Miss Alesha says:
    Mon, 16th Aug 20107:37 am 

    I actually want to see five movies on this list. :/

  15. Britt says:
    Mon, 16th Aug 201010:39 am 

    dont EVEN go there with king of queens…seriously.

  16. The Claw says:
    Wed, 18th Aug 20104:04 am 

    It's your loss if you give Scott Pilgrim a miss, that flick just was plain awesome.

  17. LeLe says:
    Sat, 21st Aug 20102:52 am 

    I took my little sister to see Ramona and Beezus, and it was surprisingly really cute. Selena Gomez doesn't have as much screen time as you would expect, and the girl who played Ramona was great. Aside from that one, can't say I saw anything on the list.

  18. barry says:
    Sat, 21st Aug 20104:32 am 

    I DISAGREED WHAT U SAID THEIR WERE 4 GOOD MOVIES I ENJOY WACTHING HATE EWHN PEOPEL SAY DONT GO TO MOVIE IT BAD NOT GOOD U HAVE NO RIGHT SAY THAT NONE YOUR BUSENSS THAT UP TO PERSON NOT U

  19. shiarispeaks2010 says:
    Sat, 21st Aug 20103:35 pm 

    Loved the last airbender TV series, the movie…well….

  20. John says:
    Sat, 21st Aug 20108:19 pm 

    I disagree with Numbers 4 and 7 as they were good and ok movies.

  21. Kendra says:
    Wed, 25th Aug 20101:24 pm 

    I agree with all of these (especially Funny People, good god was that awful) except Scott Pilgrim. That was a real nerdgasm. Take that, M. Knight Shamalamadingdong.

  22. Alice says:
    Mon, 30th Aug 20101:17 pm 

    It's funny that Shari thinks she's the only one who hates Twilight..

  23. noerul says:
    Sat, 4th Sep 20106:46 am 

    Very good text. I’ve found your site via Google and I’m really glad about the information you provide in your articles.

  24. MP says:
    Sat, 4th Sep 20104:16 pm 

    LOL…Clearly commenter "barry" is a pro when it comes to movie reviews.

  25. Ally says:
    Sat, 11th Sep 20106:41 pm 

    I agree with everything except Scott Pilgrim vs. The World IT WAS AMAZING :) Loved it, hilarious.

  26. Ronald says:
    Wed, 11th Jul 20129:25 am 

    I just finished redanig this book and found so many questions answered to my family’s past. My gg-grandfather went of to fight in the Civil War and never came back. He was assumed dead but once we started to genealogical research found he had started a new family. His wife remarried but her son from her first husband never lived with her once the census was restarted. I always wondered why he lived close by but not with them. Your book gave me a possible answer to that questions. Thanks.A very enjoyable read that I have already recommended to two friends who are Jane Austen fans.

  27. a4897035 says:
    Wed, 12th Dec 20124:20 am 

    I’ve said that least 4897035 times. SKC was here…

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