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Drink Yourself Successful

Truth: all-nighters just got more fun.

Dearest CollegeCandy readers, I trust by now you’ve heard we’re big supporters of Boxed Wine Wednesday and Thirsty Thursdays. And Get Drunk For No Reason Saturdays….and Mondays.  You’ve seen our reports on the endless benefits of boozing.  Some of you have agreed with our debauched ways, while others balked that constant drinking is wrong.

Well hang on to your hats, ladies, because I’m about to make it oh-so right all over again.

A recently released Norwegian study shows that moderate consumption of wine is tied to higher scores on cognitive tests.  What’s that?  You’re not impressed?  Well I’m not finished.  That same study goes on to show that those who abstained entirely from drinking resulted in lower scores among females.

Still not done!

As luck would have it, getting wasted is also the key to success at work.  Mark Jeffries agreed with you naysayers and initially refrained from the ritual end of the day drinkathon with his coworkers.  Then, when the economy took a nose-dive, he was fired.

Upon looking back, Jeffries realized it was his polite decline of those bar invitations that probably helped escort him out the door of his office.  You see, he never created emotional bonds with fellow staff members.  The not-drinking hurt his shot at building a social niche for himself within the company.

And with that, I invite you to apply this theory to every area of your life.  Drink with classmates, drink with roommates, drink with people you’ve never met before….in the library…the night before finals.

Cheers!

noneCOLLEGECANDY Writer