The Clothes Don’t Always Make the Man (Or the Woman). But Sometimes They Can Help

August 23, 2010 Posted in Beauty, Fashion, Reality, Style

Confession time: I’m a shopaholic. Bags are my weakness. So are boots. I’m obsessed with dark washed jeans and oversize sunglasses and Rachel Bilson’s entire wardrobe.

Needless, to say I take the time to make outfits out of all of these clothes that I acquire. I read magazines and blogs and spend far too much time trying to find the perfect outfit for every occasion. So yes, I am a woman who often worries about her appearance, or at least the appearance of her clothes. And I’m not afraid to admit it, much to the disapproval of the likes of Sandra Bartky.

I first encountered this feminist writer in my Philosophy and Feminism class last semester, when reading her article, Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power. Bartky discusses the roles men and a male dominated society (i.e.: the patriarchal power), play in the way in which women portray themselves. Women, she claims, feel as though they are constantly being watched by a male power and as a result, we feel it necessary to take part in this “beautification process” society has thrust upon us.

The process of beautification, she claims, is insignificant. It is a practice women take part in only because they feel they have to. Women, Bartky claims, feel as though they must always look perfect, as though they must always strive for the ideal. They are never good enough, but always reaching, always working in an attempt to please that nonexistent gazer. From waxing our eyebrows to straightening our hair, its all for someone else. And by conceding, Bartky explains, the patriarchy remains in control. Men continue to have the power.

Bartky believes that by worrying about our appearance, we’re submitting to someone else’s idea of beauty. She thinks we’re molding ourselves into an ideal that someone else, specifically a man, has put forth as the standard of beauty. She believes that with every swipe of mascara, or splurge on this season’s boots, we are allowing ourselves to be made inferior. We are reinforcing everything feminists have fought against.

I beg to differ.

Now let’s put aside the fact that men feel just as much pressure as women to look a certain way. Let’s put aside the media’s role in all of this. And let’s overlook the fact that there is no one true idea of beauty because all over the world, different cultures and countries have different beauty ideals. Just ask Jessica Simpson.

But like I said, let’s put all that aside. Let’s instead focus on what looking your best can do for you. You’ve seen how much a makeover can change a person. From Clueless to What Not to Wear, it’s a proven fact. To some, beautification is a means of oppression. But for those who enjoy it, for those who do not feel oppressed by it, who do not claim to be behaving a certain way for anyone other than themselves, is it right to tell them that they are being oppressed? Can women as a group make that decision for women as individuals? And what about personal style? We don’t all walk around in matching outfits. Women make choices about their clothes. They are a means of expression, a way of telling the world who we are. The “beautification process,” as Bartky calls it, does not have to be a means of giving men control, but it can be a way of taking control back.

Statements like “What’s on the outside really does matter” and “You’re judged on your appearance” are generally not met with much support. Because what’s inside does count. If you can’t hold a decent conversation, if you don’t stand out as an individual, if you aren’t a genuine person, what you wear will no longer matter. So those people, who believe that outward appearance is all that matters, are wrong. But I’m not talking about weight or beauty or expensive clothes, or the picture perfect, but entirely unrealistic, image the media plasters all over magazines and billboards. I’m simply talking about dressing to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

First impressions are more often than not determined by looks, especially in the post college world. Dressing appropriately for a job interview? That’s important. Not just for women, but for men too. If you’re at a networking event, is your possible employer more likely to chat with the girl in the pinstripe pants or the girl in the sweatpants with their college logo down their right leg? Similarly, the man in a suit is more likely to get the job than the man who shows up to the interview in a t-shirt and jeans.

To an extent, society does dictate the way we dress. Appearances do matter sometimes. But this is not a struggle between male and female power. In fact, it does not have to be a power struggle at all. You should never dress for someone else, or wear something you are not comfortable with. But you should explore the world of fashion and the world of beauty. Find a style that makes you feel comfortable and helps you to stand out in a good way. If it’s all about the power then take that power back and use it to your advantage.

6911710 Comments2010-08-23+21%3A00%3A04Jenn+-+Wagner+College on "The Clothes Don’t Always Make the Man (Or the Woman). But Sometimes They Can Help"

A says:
Mon, 23rd Aug 201012:58 pm

preach.

Ashley says:
Mon, 23rd Aug 20102:32 pm

Amen. Seriously.

N says:
Mon, 23rd Aug 20104:58 pm

I think you're missing the point of the woman's article. The fact that a woman's self-worth or confidence stems from "dressing to be the best person she can be" is a form of oppression. There is a cost involved with everything you do, all the reading blogs and time devoted to beauty rituals, which you might not consider. Men can generally get away with spending far less time and resources on their outward appearance. When I compare my monthly expenses to my boyfriend's there's a major difference in the amount of money I spend on 'self-care'. Things like haircuts and colour, makeup, lotion etc.. These are all things that I spend money on because I feel I 'need' to. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy dressing up. I enjoy shopping, and I really really enjoy putting on makeup and doing my hair every morning. But I'm still aware that it makes me feel good because it makes me feel beautiful and appealing. I do feel more confident, and I am considered a personable person because of the amount of time I spend making sure I look good. Imagine if instead I devoted all that time to some other endeavour? Who knows who I'd be, if society judged me based on my compassion rather than my hair. I think that it's more complex than simply "every woman hates this neverending battle to reproduce an impossible image of perfection" – but I don't think you can say that because you enjoy it the beauty ideal is not a form of oppression.

Bebe says:
Mon, 23rd Aug 20106:57 pm

THANK YOU. i have a fashion blog and people tell me "it's so superficial" and "you are reinforcing what 'the man' is trying to force on women". my response is a simple yet powerful quote formt he devil wears prada:

"Halston, Lagerfeld, de la Renta…what they did, what they created was greater than art because you live your life in it"

CultureChoc2010 says:
Mon, 23rd Aug 20107:41 pm

AND have fun with fashion!

Jools says:
Tue, 24th Aug 201010:15 am

I think that most women/girls don't dress nicely for men/boys, they do it so that the other women/girls will be envious of their clothes… but that's just my opinion.

Angeline says:
Wed, 25th Aug 201012:37 am

I enjoy fashion. I believe that people only live once- so I'm going to live MY way and not how some feminist tells me to.

F says:
Wed, 25th Aug 20101:16 pm

There is a difference between presenting yourself well (job interview example) and the "beautification process thrust upon us" by a male-dominated society. Just saying.

misnomer says:
Mon, 30th Aug 20107:56 am

I feel better about myself when I take the time to dress nice. I feel proud of the way I look and have more confidence because I am not just blending into the crowd. And how we choose to dress reflects who we are because it is a sample of the choices we make. If I wear pajama pants to class, it means that I didn't care enough to take the time to actually get dressed. When I dress up for an interview, it means I am serious about this and I took the extra effort present myself well. It's just like sending a thank you note after the interview.

There is a line, and when we dress up or look nice for the sole purpose of other people, that's when you have a problem.

P.S. Bebe, would you mind posting a link to your blog?

http://studentswhostillhavesouls.blogspot.com

AC says:
Sun, 19th Sep 20103:40 pm

Jools kind of has a point, some women today dress more to outdo another woman then to attract a man, but WHY are they trying to outdo another woman? To attract a man, to be the best choice. It’s biology.

BUT, not every woman is dressing to outdo someone, or to attract a mate, some women just generally like dressing up and looking good FOR THEMSELVES! When I open my closet (or dig through the piles on my floor) I’m not thinking about anyone but me, and what I want to wear that day, and how I want to look, and who I want to be. I love fashion, I like that you can change your entire persona with just an outfit and some accessories. I dress to fit my mood, and I only ever dress for me.

Beauty on the other hand, you don’t have to shell out tons of money for beauty products, in fact, if you invest in a good skin care regimen you don’t have to spend much on beauty at all, or much time. I rarely wear makeup, and when I do, I don’t wear much. I spend 20 dollars on a haircut at haircuttery (and get great compliments on it every time!) I’m happy with my natural hair color, because it’s mine and it’s what I was born with, and what is going to inevitably look best on me. I pluck my eyebrows which takes all of about 2 minutes, I buy drugstore brand soaps, drugstore brand makeup (what little I do buy) and I splurge on moisturizer and face wash. I spend only a little more a month on beauty than my boyfriend does, and I certainly have no lack of male attention which isn’t even my goal, just to be clear, my goal is to just be the best I can be, and look my best for me, in the end I want to look like me, not some fake made-up person who’s gonna melt in the sun or rain.

My boyfriend told me yesterday that the first time he saw the girl his friend is currently talking to, he thought she was kinda slutty looking, because she was all made up, and then he saw her again yesterday after she had just woken up, without makeup, and he said she was actually really attractive. He said girls look much classier when they don’t wear a ton of makeup. And he’s right, we hear this from guys ALL. THE. TIME! Right? I know I’ve heard it, guys don’t like when we wear a lot of makeup, when we spend hours getting ready, when we put so much product in our hair that they can’t touch it.

Guys like the natural look.

So who are we really getting dolled up for? Certainly not the men who don’t even want or appreciate it. No, WE, WOMEN, put those beauty constraints on ourselves. Women are the ones in charge in fashion, we edit the beauty magazines, we are the stylists and beauty experts, not men (or at least not straight men). So the feminist argument that we’re doing it for men and perpetuating a patriarchal society just doesn’t hold up. I want to look beautiful for me, because I want to be proud of what I see looking back at me in the mirror, and I can only be proud of me, if it looks like me.

Accentuate what you’ve got, don’t try to make yourself something you’re not. Just be happy with who you are, and do things for yourself and no one else. Be the best that you can be and I guarantee you’ll shine. It’s best to know that you’re looking your best the way you were meant to look, then to think you look good, but look nothing like yourself.

Tell us what you're thinking...

Notify me of follow-up comments via email.

Notify me of new posts via email.