Single. And Enlightened

By Emmy

Lazy Sunday mornings. They might be one of the most wonderful things in the world. It was noon, and I was enjoying one such relaxing, completely unproductive Sunday morning this past week. It was my turn to cook, so I was making waffles (chocolate chip, of course) for our girls brunch. We had all congregated, still in our pajamas and more than a little worn out from the previous night’s festivities, to exchange stories.

We gushed about one of my friend’s newest crushes who had FINALLY kissed her the night before, laughed at some of the ridiculous things that various drunk boys had said, dissected who had danced with whom (“Ew against the wall?!”), and dished on all the important gossip of the weekend. Typical girls’ sesh, Sex and the City style. Except our outfits weren’t $2,000. And we were sitting on the floor of our living room.

My one friend, K, wasn’t saying much, though. I wasn’t sure if she was simply still too hung over to process anything or if there was something on her mind. Finally, when we were back to talking about my friend’s exciting smooch, K chimed in.

“Ah I’m so jealous! That’s the best place to be. I miss being single.”

K has been with her boyfriend Mitch for a long, LONG time. They are one of those perfect couples; totally in sync, totally in love, totally awesome. Every single single girl I know wants what they have. It never occurred to me that she might want what we have.

But I get it. I remember missing the excitement of being single when I was tied down for so long. Like K said, it really is fun to be single, especially in college. There are always new crushes and mistakes, drunken hookups that make for hilarious stories, and the freedom to do what (and whom) you want. But the funny thing about all this is that, as a single girl, I want what K has.  I mean, the whole reason a new crush is exciting is because we’re thinking of the potential for it to turn into a real relationship. One like K’s.

We all want what we don’t have.
Actually, we all want what we think we don’t have.

K misses the excitement that comes with being single, but she doesn’t see all the other stuff: the boys with potential who disappeared without a trace, the awkwardness of those accidental drunken mistakes,  the nights spent alone. With junk food. K only sees a small part of what it’s like to be single and, from the comforts of her perfect relationship, totally misses the reality.

And I’m sure, when I look longingly at her and every other blissfully happy couple holding hands on campus, I’m not getting the whole picture either.

Obviously, there are good and bad things about being both singled and coupled. It’s easy to envy whichever one you don’t have from afar – coveting the excitement of a single girl’s life, or the stability of a coupled girl’s relationship. It’s that whole “grass is greener” syndrome. We all just need to remember that when you get closer, you’ll see that both sides have some brown spots that the sprinkler could never reach.

At the end of the day, we all need to remember to be content with what wehave. The grass might look greener on the other side, but look down and you’ll see that your own grass is pretty damn green already.