The 7 People Who Will Drive You Crazy Freshman Year

By Rachael

Freshman year is an incredible experience. For many, it’s the first taste of Keystone freedom, the first foray into frat parties out into the world. You‘ll drink with meet people from all walks of life. You’ll quickly wonder how you ever survived without your newfound friends.

But be warned: for every awesome new friend that you make, you’ll find yourself face to face with an enemy. Not a “sleep with one eye open” enemy; more like a “OMG I want to gouge out my eyes whenever you come near me” type.

Here are my personal picks for people to avoid:

The “Busy” Roommate- The first parent-free weekend, I was woken up by the rhythmic creaking of my roommate’s lofted bed. The second week of classes, I was woken up on Thursday night by a guy pounding on the door looking for her around 3 A.M, and she came in the following morning trailing a (different) guy from my English class. If you’re really lucky, you won’t be woken up like I was – you’ll be permanently sexiled. It’s not like you need to get into your room or anything, right?

The Bad RA- A good RA should have a balance of helpfulness and friendliness. She’s not supposed to be your best friend, but she’s also not supposed to be so aloof that you can’t relate to her either. Some RAs are overzealous, which can be more than a little annoying; like the RA who refused to start the floor meeting until all forty girls were present, even though the missing person had a legitimate reason for her absence. Even worse, though, was the RA who was so high he didn’t notice that there was an orgy going on in my friend’s room, nor did he realize my friend was out in the hall with a pillow at 4 A.M because he was trying to figure out where he could get some sleep.

The Sporadic Professor- This professor is out to prove you’re no longer in high school by giving you regular and difficult assignments. But, in order to make sure you do them, he’ll only grade them sporadically. It doesn’t sound as bad now, but it will be when you finally decide to skip on the ONE day he decides to check.

The Neighbor With the Subwoofer- Okay, I love music as much as the next person, and I love blasting it whenever I can. However, when you’re living in a building with other people, there are certain courtesies to be paid. Like not blasting your music on a crazy bass system that shakes surrounding walls, floors, and ceilings….at 11pm…during finals. This is grounds for justifiable homicide.

The Extremely Messy/Neat Roommate- Either extreme can be deadly, depending on what you’re like. I’ve seen these two paired together before and and it was the closest I’ve ever seen to an in-your-face war. If your roommate falls into one of these two categories, you will definitely have a problem. You’ll either want to strangle her for those passive-aggressive comments about how neat and tidy her side of the room is, or you’ll want to strangle her anytime her crap (read: dirty undies) creeps over to your side..

The Peter Pan Queen Bee- This girl has somehow managed to establish herself as the Queen Bee of the group/hall/floor. She chooses who’s worthy of hanging out with her and her followers, and is fickle about who she keeps around. Essentially, she hasn’t gotten the memo that high school is over. As a result, your grown-up college life will be fraught with the exact same drama you thought you’d left behind – petty gossip, rules about who you can and can’t socialize with, backstabbing, and other not-so-fun pastimes.

Crazy Drunk Naked Guy- Okay, so this one may not drive you crazy in the same way, but I do promise it will scar you for life. This guy is the reason you are warned repeatedly to double and triple-check your locks at night. The one night my roomie and I didn’t, a drunk, high, naked guy showed up in our room after relieving himself in the hallway, then refused to leave. Variations of the Crazy Drunk Naked Guy include 2 A.M streakers, the frat boy who peed in the fridge, and the guy who stood in the doorway watching the girls sleep.