High School Homecoming vs. College Homecoming

Maxim Says the Darndest Things: October 2010 EditionMaxim Says the Darndest Things: October 2010 Edition
Tuffy Luv Tackles Nice Guys…To The GroundTuffy Luv Tackles Nice Guys…To The Ground

Some girls may have high school homecoming corsages dried and preserved in a chest of memories, while others have likely burned any evidence that they took their younger brother two years in a row. However you recall your high school homecomings – get ready for a whole new ball game in college.

In retrospect, the hectic nature of the whole Homecoming Saga in high school was just flat out unnecessary. Between the hairdos (like $40 for a fancy ponytail, what the hell?), the unattractive acrylic talons, choosing a restaurant (Italian makes you gassy but the smell of Chinese really gets into fabrics), and worrying about  what type of guy Sparknotes says you’ll be dragging along, the romanticized idea of homecoming is just a little much.

But you better enjoy the crazies while you can, because once you hit a college campus “homecoming” takes on a new face all together. Here are some of the primary differences:

Price

High School: $60/month unlimited tanning package at the Tiki de Soleil Bronzed Goddess Something Salon (So. Many. Orange. People.), $500 dress that you will probably never take out of the dress bag again keep forever to show the grandchildren, $10 boutonniere, $18 corsage because you want it to match exactly and not have him totally eff it up, $15 for your limo portion, etc…

College: $10 team color face paint, $0 game face, and a little beer money (tailgating galore!).

Royalty

High School: Get nominated in some twisted democratic process that is supposed to encourage voting in the long run. It comes down to the same batch of people who are nominated for pretty much everything else in the school. Regardless, it’s an honor to be nominated and chosen by your peers for something so hyped up in teenage rom-com dream sequences.

College: We have homecoming royalty in college? Yeah, they have to fill out an application. It’s the big leagues, kids. Pretty serious stuff– unless you are within the 99.9% of people on your campus who are too busy taking (school spirited) beer bongs/couldn’t care less.

After Party

High School: Probably off to the mall (nothing finishes off a night like the rousing sounds of mall cops on Segways), a 24-hour diner, or someone’s house where there’s, like, tons of alchy (scandalous!). Take plenty of pictures to add to your “HC 2010 <3″ FB album, uploaded and tagged my morning.

College: Odds are you’re still recovering through Monday’s 8:30 lecture. Evidence? It may be scattered on FB….or in the eyes of the many people who saw you trekking home (with smeared face paint) on Sunday morning.

Date

High School: Elaborate schemes planned months in advance involving various forms of chocolate,  baked goods, Safeway bouquets, and oversized teddy bears. Often influenced by several hour stints on Google. It has to be a perfect match, at least for that night.

College: Me ticket, you ticket, we game. End of story. The types of dates here are endless. But it never hurts to give that totally hot foreign kid in Chem 101 his first taste at American football… and women!

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