I’m A Chick and Tucker Max is My Hero

September 28, 2010 3:00 pm     Posted in Cool Stuff, Entertainment  Brittany - University of Saint Thomas g+ page

I have a confession to make.  And it falls somewhere between extremely saddening and super confusing:


By Brittany

Tucker Max is my hero.

I understand if you’re so angry your vision is blurred and you can no longer read this article.  However, I think you should take a moment to clear your head and absorb what I’m about to write.

When I first walked into Barnes and Noble on a quest to buy Tucker Max’s first book, ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell‘ I was nervous and slightly excited.  I’d been hearing so much about it, I couldn’t resist reading it.  So I brought it home, tried to cover it up with a magazine from my roommates and dug in.

I sat in my bed for three hours, missed the premiere of ‘Project Runway’ and finished it in one sitting.  The book was pure gold.  He was a complete and utter a-hole and it was so amazingly brilliant I wanted to put the book on a pedestal in my room labeled: Pagan among a-holes. Unable to keep it to myself, I ran into the living room, waved the book over my head and shouted to (at?) my roommates how amazing Tucker Max was.  The girls responded in a variety of ways, but mostly by looking at me like I had just told them I had a collection of gnomes in my basement.

They were scared.

And now, four years later, Tucker Max is coming out with his second a-hole book called, “A**holes Finish First,” because, according to Tucker Max himself, “What do you do when you’ve become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I’ll tell you what I do: I write another effing book.” It’s in stores today, September 28th, in case you want to change your life.  And I’m so excited.

I understand it’s a little weird for a chick to be totally obsessed with Tucker Max. I get it – he’s a dick.  OK, maybe ‘dick’ is an understatement.  He is an extremely offensive, terrible human being. In all of his stories, he totally degrades women, uses them and blatantly says incredibly offensive things about them. But I don’t love him because I want him in the sack or because I believe his rants are necessarily great for our society (even if he did once make a very good point);  I love him because he is a outlet of hilarity I simply cannot resist.

Now, before you stalk my life and attempt to ruin it, hear me out. Essentially, I’m confused as you are about my kudos for Mr. Max.  Sure, go ahead and blame me for being the typical stupid college girl who loves a-holes. But, let’s be honest here, ladies: don’t all women love the bad guy? Maybe it’s his honesty I love most about him.  He is a brutally, fatally honest ass hat. His books are so juicy and wonderful, I want to give him a hug.  Or maybe he’s insecure and I secretly feel bad for him.  Or may his one-liners (and rants about McGriddles) are worth my weight in gold nuggets.

I don’t support his actions and it feels weird to fork my money over to the kind of douchey frat boy my friends and I loathe, but I can’t help it. And I don’t care what anyone says, I will scream it on roof tops: Tucker Max is my hero.

21 Comments on "I’m A Chick and Tucker Max is My Hero"

  1. Irina says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 201010:16 am 

    well i dont think he's a "hero"

    but his first book was really funny. especially the pooing in hotel story.

  2. kate says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 201010:21 am 

    i love tucker too!!!! its nothing to me ashamed of.

  3. AC says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 201011:04 am 

    I was actually just reading "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" this morning. For the 5th time. I'm sorry, but those stories are hilarious! And as much of an asshat as he might be, he's a very honest asshat, and doesn't pretend to be anything but. The girls he objectifies put themselves in those situations.

    Girls, if you don't want to be made a mockery of, don't sleep with an asshat (or a guy you don't know…)!

  4. Emily says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 201011:20 am 

    Hahahaha this was so great! I love him too, none of my friends understand why and honestly I don't get it either. It's like my love/unhealthy obsession with bad boys and fratty douches. Yeah, they treat you like shit, but there is just something about them. I can't explain it, my friends hate me for it, but it just happens.

  5. Bebe says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 20101:09 pm 

    ….no. that's just awful.

  6. Eric says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 20103:07 pm 

    His first book (Beer in Hell) has been discredited by the press, former fans and even law school friends. He fabricated the stories from urban legends, and even plagarized one well-worn Internet story. He's a fraud which is why everyone who meets him is shocked to find that he's not 6' like he claims, and doesn't have the quick wit that he repeatedly demonstrates in his short stories.

    Here's an interview on a national radio show (Opie & Anthony) where they openly clown Tucker Max after they expose him as a total liar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAbreeMofRg

  7. Mel - Miami Universi says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 20104:24 pm 

    Great article! I can't say I'm totally on the same page as you, Brittany, but Tucker Max has this great line in his book that I absolutely love and think is often overlooked:

    "Men will treat you the way you let them."

    I think every girl who knows a friend who’s being treated badly by a guy should pass on this little piece of wisdom.

  8. Slain says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 20104:28 pm 

    He's a fucking asshole, depends on treating women like garbage to prop up his asshole ego, and believe it or not, it's this very post that's the last straw. I'm definitely unsubbing this site from Google Reader. Bye, CC, it's been grand.

  9. Racheal Smetana says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 20105:41 pm 

    I completely agree. The guy is genius.

  10. Anonymous says:
    Tue, 28th Sep 20109:16 pm 

    Eric's right. I'm embarrassed for you all that you actually believe his stories.

  11. Charlotte says:
    Wed, 29th Sep 20106:14 am 

    I can't believe you couldn't tell the stories are made up

  12. greatbooksformen GBF says:
    Wed, 29th Sep 201011:35 am 

    lzozlzozozlzl chix love secrteive tapers of butthex who tape butthex and film it without the girlths conethnet lzozllzlzlzlz that is why the fed fundfunds feminsists studies zlozlzolzz to empower womenz who love sodoiomites and sceteirve tapers of sodomy olzozozl

  13. Jane says:
    Wed, 29th Sep 201012:08 pm 

    Congratulations, you must be SO cool because you think Tucker Max is hilarious. I will admit I have read some of his stuff and yes it's funny, but I'm sick of girls shouting how much they "love" it from the rooftops in hopes some asshole will find this impressing and take her out for shooters and a 4 minute (if you're lucky) hookup. Good luck.

  14. Liz says:
    Wed, 29th Sep 20101:12 pm 

    I fucked Tucker Max.

    (just kidding- but the tattoo story is my favorite.)

  15. Anonymous says:
    Wed, 29th Sep 20104:35 pm 

    Jane, get over yourself. Just because some girls think he's funny doesn't mean they're trying to get laid! Sheesh! I wish people would stop pretending they know everyone's motivations, let people enjoy what they want to enjoy.

  16. dr feelgood says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 201010:15 am 

    my buddy turned me on to Tucker Max back in 2005 and afterward laughing my ass off for hours reading his chronicals on the internet I has to go out and buy I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell This is an awesome book to say the least!

  17. a young man on the i says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 20107:28 pm 

    Interesting. The girls who like "bad boys" and being treated badly enjoy Tucker Max, a "bad boy" who treats girls badly. Can't say I saw that one coming.

  18. Ginny says:
    Mon, 4th Oct 20109:23 pm 

    I haven't read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, but before he even had the book out, I had friends the read his website and decided a night of drinking Tucker's Death Mix was a good plan. I'm glad I didn't drink any, because they needed somebody around that could remember the hilarity of the night.

  19. mell says:
    Mon, 30th Jan 20127:45 pm 

    I completely agree with you! He's a god. And no, I don't want to sleep with him

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