The Do’s and Don’ts of Breakup Revenge

September 30, 2010 3:00 pm     Posted in Advice, HaHa, Relationships  Alexandra Gehringer g+ page

Austin Purifoy taught us a very valuable lesson this week when he pooped in the backseat of a car he thought belonged to his girlfriend – apparently you can go “too far” when it comes to getting back at your ex.  Though Mr. Purifoy won’t be arrested for his stunt, we thought this one went a little beyond what’s considered reasonable revenge.  The line is fine and often hard to define, but here’s our best attempt at outlining what is and what isn’t acceptable bitch behavior:


By Alexandra Gehringer

Okay: Putting something gross in your ex’s car.  Like an onion.  Or a dead hermit crab.
Not okay: Having that “gross thing” be poop.  Yours or anyone else’s.

Okay: Planting pictures of the two of you where you know his new girlfriend will see.
Not okay: Going to his apartment wearing only a trench coat “because he ordered that striptease” while his new girlfriend is over.

Okay: Giving out your ex’s number to all the creepy guys you meet at the bar.
Not okay: Posting his number on the Craigslist Casual Encounters board.

Okay: Telling your ex you’re pregnant.
Not okay: Telling your ex’s parents you’re pregnant.

Okay: Subscribing his email address to a hundred different annoying and graphic PETA newsletters.
Not okay: Telling PETA he’s operating a bunny-skinning factory in his basement.

Okay: Changing your ex’s Facebook password so he can’t log on.
Not okay: Changing his password and also screwing up his profile.  Having him as “Interested in Men” would be an insult to the gay community.

Okay: Anonymous mass email to his friends with scandalous photos of your ex attached.
Not okay: Anonymous mass email to the entire student body with scandalous photos of your ex attached.

22 Comments on "The Do’s and Don’ts of Breakup Revenge"

  1. emily says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 201010:07 am 

    since when is any of this considered "Do"?

    i'd say it's important to avoid being labeled the crazy ex.

    but what do i know?

  2. pieintheskycompany says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 201011:41 am 

    Not okay. Telling your ex you’re pregnant. Giving out your ex’s number to all the creepy guys you meet at the bar. The rest…kinda creepy but if he was an ULTIMATE douche I could see it.

  3. margiesque says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 201011:55 am 

    Wow. This list is insanity.

  4. Irina says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 20102:56 pm 

    uh if i would ever email scandalous photos to his friends, you KNOW they would end up in the entire student body's email anyways.

  5. lysy says:
    Thu, 30th Sep 20103:35 pm 

    Um none of these seem okay at all.

    They are all really crazy.

  6. Anna says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 20104:09 am 

    I could never see doing any of these things… then again, I try to date sane guys and also be sane myself.

  7. Ryn says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 20108:25 am 

    None of these would be okay at all… Especially when it comes to being a bitch to your ex's new girl. So it didn't work out, why try and make it so his next relationship won't?

  8. Colleen says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 201011:30 am 

    Woah. None of these are okay.

  9. Liz says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 201011:43 am 

    These are NOT okay. Especially the photos and the pregnancy lie. They are totally f***ing crazy.

  10. Mami says:
    Sat, 2nd Oct 20109:08 pm 

    OK: Deleting and closing the email account he uses to chat up other women.

    Not OK: Everything on this list?!

  11. misnomer says:
    Mon, 4th Oct 20107:54 am 

    I think the best revenge is moving on and not letting him affect your life in any major way.

    http://studentswhostillhavesouls.blogspot.com

  12. Jim says:
    Tue, 5th Oct 20106:28 am 

    Well it depends on what it is that your ex did to you. If he/she cheated than maybe you can take it a little further. If he/she cheated with your best friend than all bets are off. Just check out http://www.cheatconfession.com for some serious assholes. But if it's an ugly break up than revenge is expected. Just make sure its your exes car before you dump in it

  13. Keith says:
    Tue, 5th Oct 20107:14 pm 

    Wow this list is madness. Wouldn't want to be an ex of yours!

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  20. kate says:
    Mon, 30th Jan 20121:54 am 

    If it's a break up, none of this is okay. If he cheats, everything here is okay :)

    How about deleting his World Of Warcraft toons and replacing them with one called 'Cheater'

  21. devin says:
    Mon, 16th Apr 20125:44 pm 

    some real crazy ideas in there. This one:

    Okay: Giving out your ex’s number to all the creepy guys you meet at the bar.
    Not okay: Posting his number on the Craigslist Casual Encounters board.

    Had me laughing pretty hard though.

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