Momma Madonna Forgot Her Age Again

October 1, 2010 12:00 pm     Posted in Entertainment, HaHa  Ashley Lee g+ page

Scarred. For. Life.

Our mothers may not always have the soundest judgment in situations regarding appropriate behavior, like when they think chain e-mail  jokes are actually funny and they think flipping through family photo albums with your friends is an enjoyable activity for all.


By Ashley Lee

Note: they’re not.
Seriously.

Poor Lourdes must have a much longer list of Momma Madonna’s to-do taboos, one that must surely include posing for Dolce & Gabbana with her fifty-two year-old cleavage as the focal point.

Look Madge: the world knows you’re a celebrity mom with a young boyfriend and a fantastically fit body, but we really do not need to see it on large-scale prints in department stores and giant billboards in Times Square! Madonna/Madge/Esther/MILF-used-to-be, you are no longer a Material Girl who is Like A Virgin, so please stop pretending. If not for me and my night tremors then, please, do it for Lourdes! Break that contract if D&G won’t provide you with a sweater on set, and give the Photoshop guy (who’s clearly been working overtime) a break!

It’s not like you need the money, Margie. And isn’t the mental health of your daughter worth more than a pile of hundos anyway?

Ironically, you say Lourdes is growing up too fast. I don’t know what kind of clock you keep on your nightstand, woman, but time eventually passes and people get older. And you’re one of those people. There’s a gate that closes on certain behaviors once you’re over the hump (hence why my mother doesn’t do keg stands anymore….thank god), and no amount of yoga or young model boyfriends or design collaborations with your fourteen-year-old daughter will alter the date on your birth certificate.

The weather in Cougartown is clearly not that hot, so let’s get you some age-appropriate outfits (that cover those arms!) and spare poor Lourdes a life of shame and humiliation.

9 Comments on "Momma Madonna Forgot Her Age Again"

  1. Rachel says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 20107:24 am 

    Seriously? This article is honestly just needlessly rude. Why should Madonna have to change who she is because of her age? I think this is less about the fact that she has a daughter and more about the fact that she is 52, as you highlighted by dubbing the photos a focal point on her "52 year old cleavage". I say if she's got it, flaunt it. She's more than twice my age, but that doesn't change the fact she has a rockin bod. There isn't an expiration date on sex appeal and self confidence. A woman is free to dress and express herself as she pleases, regardless of whether or not it gives you "night tremors".

    One of the reasons I always loved College Candy was that it encouraged all women to love who they were and to be comfortable in their own skin. This is just disappointing.

  2. karen says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 20107:48 am 

    honestly, Rachel, its pretty gross.

    Madonna still feels the need to use her body to get attention. she should really focus on aging gracefully, and i don't know, maybe use her music to get attention?

    i would be scared for life if my mom did this. it totally sends the wrong message to her young daughter.

  3. AC says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 20107:57 am 

    On one hand, I agree with the article, seriously, Madonna looks like an old wrinkly dried up prune, I don't care how "fit" (read: skinny) she is, skinny doesn't equal beauty (another issue CC usually raises). On the other hand, I agree with Rachel, there is no expiration date on sex appeal.

    There are three women in the media right now being criticized for their age; Madonna, Heidi Klum, and Demi Moore (possibly more, but these are the three big ones) Demi Moore is an old cougar and her young stud husband is apparently over it and looking for someone more his age, so she's out trying to make herself feel better by posting myspace style bikini pics in an attempt to prove she's not too old. She's still gorgeous with a hot bod! If her husband wants to cheat, it probably has little to do with age, but honestly, what celebrity relationship really lasts, and how many relationships with a much older woman and a younger guy actually last (men and women have different maturity levels, so multiply that age gap by 2!) the point is, it's not so much about HER age, as the fact that they probably just have relationship issues.

    Heidi Klum is pretty recent, but people are criticizing her decision to leave Victoria's Secret and saying she's not leaving because she wants to pursue other things, but because she's to old to model, especially lingerie. But HELLO! this is Heidi Fricken Klum we're talking about! She's not that old, and she' still significantly hotter than most women who walk this planet. She's had multiple kids and still has a better body than the majority of childless women ever will. Age what? Age has nothing to do with it.

    But then there's Madge. She's always been pushing limits, and portrayed a fiercely sexual persona. But unlike her aged counterparts above, she actually looks her age, time has not been as good to her. But if she wants to put it all out there, and people are willing to pay for it, then hey, more power to her!

    Lourdes is probably out there saying, "My mom is Madonna, beat that bitches!".

  4. shle896 says:
    Fri, 1st Oct 201011:21 am 

    52 isn't what it was even 20 years ago. It's a whole different ballgame and Madonna looks AWESOME.

    I'm glad Dolce & Gabbana didn't go with some European run-of-the-mill 25 year old supermodel. Madonna is a living legend who is still on top of her game, selling out stadiums all over the planet and if it wasn't for all of her bravada, there'd never be a J.Lo or Lady GaGa, who are all just posers. She's the perfect choice for this cutting-edge fashion line.

  5. Sam says:
    Fri, 8th Oct 20106:45 pm 

    She's clearly potraying an old prostitute.

  6. zekie ledwell says:
    Mon, 1st Nov 20104:37 pm 

    What's the big deal? She is an icon. She still has top songs and hangs with the younger kids coming up. There will never be another Madonna and I…………along with others am thankful that she still looks good enough to perform and hang with the young crowd. I haven't seen too many of the new pop stars, other than maybe PINK, turning flips and dancing all over the stage for nearly 2 hours. She's beautiful, talented, and I do not see age when I see her. She shouldn't be judged by age. Today 52 is like 38 of years age. I think she could easily pass for 32. GO GET 'EM MADGE!!!!!!

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